:)

Self-induced happiness is still a form of happiness. Even if it's short-lived...haha especially in the face of impending doom.

It's the little things that matter.

update update

It has been a rather tiring week with an average of between 3 to 5 hours worth of rest per night. Partly due to insomnia (been thinking about alot of shit) and my involuntary nightshift...

Ha, next week's gonna be hell and I'm still wearing myself out this week.

I became a receptionist/secretary in the morning. I wanted to ignore the incessant ringings from behind and pretended to busy myself with work but the office was near empty, the ringings were irritating and I happened to be beside a senior manager, oh well, had to answer them. The caller gave a whole string of information to a person who was not around. Asked me for the contact number, no I don't know. Yeah so why don't you just drop him an email and I didn't bother asking for the name of the caller.

But after which, I couldn't resist not passing the message virtually even though there wasn't much of a message to relay, given that I didn't get the name nor bother to take note of the contents clearly. LOL. ;)

Anyway I've been told to justify the hours charged for a stupid job that was done 3 months ago. Okay, it's not just me, the whole team...disgusting. But it wasn't that difficult to account for my 182 hours, given that I was basically doing the whole entity myself.

And facebook is scary lah, after making the horrible realisation that a long-time foe is actually friends with a close pal of mine. Eeeks. Hell, I didn't even know they knew each other! Yikes, now we are connected...ew. Urgh.

schizo entry

I can't get over the psychological barrier, it's tormenting. Well, soon to become a physical cum mental torture if I should allow it to stay.

Anyway, went for supper last night at Geylang and came across three groups of people from E, who were there for supper as well. Ha, well I was with fellow ex-colleagues as well. What a coincidence.

I've got things to do, things to look at (work-related) but I'm not doing anything about them. Just happy to be squandering away what's left of the toil. That's what toil should be. I'm so sick of everything. Time to go hide in bed once more.

But before that, a super aww paragraph from Stardust:

“So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and… What I’m trying to say, Tristan is… I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I’d know it for myself. My heart… It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it’s trying to escape because it doesn’t belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I’d wish for nothing in exchange - no fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.”

bottomless pit

To a friend:

I am sorry I was pretty monosyllabic on msn (if you noticed)
Anyway, I can't share much in your happiness but trust me, I'm happy for you
but currently, I am incapable of expressing anything
I am drowning too much in my own unhappiness
but yeah I won't spoil things for you so I won't bring anything up

***

Do I have the guts to do it?

And this is how we say goodbye.

***

I love Jay's 青花瓷.

extremely gloomy toil

A cloud of gloom is hanging over my head.

I never needed you to help me so much, till now. In fact I always hated you (the way you always make things happen but in the end, they never work out), but now I seriously need your help.

Time is running out.

I might as well get ready a shovel and start digging my grave. Next up, my personal favourite line: Dying is faster.

let's cross over the wall

Stardust was good. Well I went in expecting it to be good anyway, after reading positive reviews in the papers. Yeah, it was such a long time since I last caught a movie, sigh, yeah my life is really quite sad.

Well, love a good fairy tale any day. :)

bad luck as always

I must have taken more photographs in my ex-firm's DnD than the current one. Yeah, just have to remember who to ask the pics from as there were numerous cameras involved. I didn't crash the DnD per say but I was around the area...and I met up with some people, hence the photo-takings.

Anyway, two people remarked pretty much the same things to me in office this week. One went, "Why are you always in office?"

And the answer, "Planning loh."

And the second one saw me today and asked directly, "Why are you always doing planning?"

I nodded sadly and of which he proceeded to bluntly add.

"Then you must have a lot of (team-in-charge) jobs."

Bah, great. Yes you are damn right. And I'm so gonna die.

Anyway, my Samsung charger just died on me. I thought I'm going to be totally contact-less tomorrow since my phone's battery went flat. But thank goodness for the USB cable, now the phone's happily charging from the laptop. However, urgh I'll have to drop by the Samsung service centre (wherever that is) to get the charger replaced. :(