when the going gets tough the tough really goes shopping

I got meself a red purse/wallet yesterday...hehehe..the current one was bursting and didn't have enough slots for cards (not that I have many cards but more of random shit like Topshop/Joop/or any other nonsense that gives discounts or vouchers after n number of purchases, you get my pt). I am not really obsessed with red, it's not bright red, kinda like dark red/maroon kind of feel.

Anyway I have exceeded my expenses, thoroughly burst my budget, if there is one in the first place....and I haven't bought a single piece of CNY clothing yet. I figured I better start hunting for clothes now since I foresee myself peaking/dying in the next few weeks. Ended up adding more clothes to the work wear department. I try my darnest to differentiate between work wear and going-out wear as somehow work wear feels like a uniform haha and I feel sucky wearing the same old thing I wear to work during weekends. Sigh. No nice CNY casual-doesn't-look-like-work-wear clothes leh. The few stores that I always go to are still on Autumn/Winter sale meaning the Spring/Summer 2007 collection is still by far, few and miserable. I guess I'll have to try my luck in the next few weeks' to come and AFTER payday before I make myself bankrupt by making advances. Even if i'm dying...well let's see. The future is unpredictable.

Then you call my name and I know inside that I love you

Probably a line to a song from 7 years back. Can't remember. But it echoes the feelings of a seventeen year old girl back in the year 2000. Revived her online diary from 7 years back and browsed through a few entries. Feeling a little nostalgic and well, a little sad. In any case it is just a teenger's senseless problems and ramblings, nothing compared to the real shit in the real world. But given a choice, I would rather stay in fantasyland.

Gonna drag myself out and do a little shopping. Another line from the online diary, when the going gets tough the tough goes shopping. But the tough needs moolah.

the overdue 2006 entry

Here is the long over-due 2006 entry.

I'm not that lazy nor unmotivated k...I already wrote out the entry in my book diary and am now transferring the paraphrased excerpts here. I penned the entry on the 2nd day of the new year and here goes.

Evidence of how little I wrote in my book diary. 10 pathetic entries for the whole of 2006 and the bulk of it was on my sad work life. Roundup of 2006...I think it was pretty crappy and boring so to speak judging from my 10 boring entries for the year.

I believe the whole of 06 revolves on how much I wanted to get out of the previous firm and move on to other (browner) pastures.

Jan-March 06 was holed up in this big job and slept an average of 3-4 hours per day. The job wasn't difficult but the staying up was. Teared in cab rides home but forged great friendship with the team.

I started to whack the job market as early as April 2006, immediately after the HK trip. Went for my first interview of the year and wasn't shortlisted cos I probably asked the wrong questions. I.e Career progression when clearly there was none.

July 2006. Taiwan trip with joyce. Enjoyed myself despite the sweltering summer heat. Fantastic food+shopping+harrowing experience on Jetstar.

August 2006. Back to the same job that took up my first quarter of the year. Ewwww. Didn't stay as late this time round cos I brought back work to do. Anyway I was already treating it as my farewell job as plans to leave were more or less finalized. However in the same month, I missed a call for interview and blamed it on my extreme bad luck. But another opportunity came knocking and I left my first job in Sept 2006. That was the beginning of my greatest nightmare which shall not be named. And well the rest of the story are documented in past entries so I shall not delve more into them. This is a part of history that I would like to leave buried and forgotten.

A few have told me that if I can survive 1 year++ in first firm, I probably can survive in others. But since I almost died-ed in one, nothing's for sure. Armed with a dented confidence that would take some time to recover, I embark on my 2007.

No, no resolutions. I am lying. Okay does resoluting to go to Seoul in 2007 count?

1st post of 2007

My new year's eve was rather unhappening. Maybe I should have just stayed home and watch the Taipei countdown instead.

In my attempt to join in the crowd at the over-hyped the cannery....okay basically I wanted to check out the kandibar cos I was attracted by the deco and reviews but it was fully reserved. Silly me. Didn't want to sit at the window bar table and ended up at MOS instead. Big, big mistake since the music stinks big time irregardless of what room. Didn't get high, wasn't even artificially high and that was how I spent my 2007 with lousy music minus the fireworks. I should have been outside. Now come to think of it, when I walked past kandibar and heard the music blaring from outside, it seems like the same trancey sort they have in mos yikesss....the clinic was just as sucky.

Then I couldn't get a cab back at 4 plus in the morning despite walking up and down and getting into some NR, dropping off somewhere and still couldn't get a cab. Ended up at an all night Hong Kong style cafeteria to have an early breakfast. Stupid cafe tried to overcharge us by 30 dollars by making us pick the tab of another table's. We may be 3 sleepy auditors but we aren't blind as yet. Hence reached home at 6 plus, dropped dead at 7...woke up at 12 noon and was feeling crappy the whole day. But the afternoon's nap later on cleared things up abit and I was able to get some work done in the evening.

I know I mentioned about some reflective entry in the previous entry but well I'm lazy and I'm not in a very reflective mood at the moment. Maybe some other day since it is already overdue so what the heck.

broke, careless, lousy...

I am so broke. My pro-rated pay ain't in yet although it's not going to be of much use since the bulk of it is going into settling the cc bill. I can't believe I chalked up such a whooping big amount over the past month. I thought I could escape the cut-off date for my very expensive purchase 2 weeks ago but NO, darn...and anyway it is almost the end of the month, end of the year too and there is no sign, absolutely no sign of the PRO-RATED pay in my bank account. I am beginning to wonder if I have given them the wrong account #......what the hell.....I have been working for freeeeeeeeeeee.

Anyway I think I am an extremely careless person having lost that piece of paper that has the pin number to access the office after office hours. ANd Yes, I did not memorize nor scribble nor type/save it down anywhere. I just simply slotted it behind my id pass and when I went to remove the temp pass sticker today, that piece of paper went missing! To think I kept telling myself subconsciously to remove and keep it away properly just in case I lose it and I have to go and LOSE it still. I am such a klutz.

On a different note, it is almost the end of twenty O 6. How scary. Quite a few people are preparing for their reflection/resolution blog entries and I used to do that too. But..but..what if I have nothing to reflect or resolute for next year? Haha. Cos nothing ever comes true and I am living life day by day as it is. Except the growing old part. That's why I am not particularly thrilled about the coming of a new year. And some things never change, sigh. That sounds so pessimistic. Oh well, if I am in a writing mood come tomorrow or Sunday maybe I'll give a summary account of my year.

hohoho

Merry Christmas~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, I'm basically stuck at home procrastinating and touching abit of the work I brought home. How sad it is to work during the holidays. I worked through my CNY this year and now it's ditto for Christmas as well. Wth. The next 4 days of the week are gonna be lonnnnnnnggggg. Anyway I'm determined to spend a white christmas in 2007. Haha, now what does this spell?

Okay I'm going to watch some shit now and continue with the neverending work when the sun rises.

gorgeous loewe dress

It is black. It is simple. Yet I think it is gorgeous. Coupled with red that is.

Some entries ago I was talking about black stockings and red heels for the non-existent DnD. That was because I stole the idea from korean actress, Yoon Eun Hye (of Goong fame) during her recent visit to Taipei for the Asia Pacific Film Awards. That girl's the new fashion darling as she is forever decked out in the latest garb so you know what's in or not. She's inspirational in that sense, ha. Well anyway here is the dress:


From Loewe website


Yoon Eun Hye with red clutch bag and red shoes

Red with black is a powerful combination.

As to how I know it is from Loewe, I saw the dress at Loewe's in Ngee Ann City! Really pretty. In case you can't see it clearly from the pics, it has pretty layers and the top and bottom part of the dress is black leather I think.

I am going to eat grass for the next few months. No, I didn't buy the above mentioned dress (I'm not that mad nor rich) but the shoe buying monster is back. And the shoe buying monster bought something else as well...which contributes to eating grass. I doubt I would have the time to shop anymore soon....so.....yah.

unseen threshold

Faulty laptop battery, indefinite temp pass, charging time woes and buddy-less (seeing that it's peaking). Yay.

I'm not complaining. My current state of mind doesn't allow for that. The above is merely a list of....what-has-gone-wrong (but still acceptable).

This is a totally useless entry but so be it.

degenerating

I feel like an empty shell. Degenerating away.

At this rate, I might just disintegrate and turn into a pile of dust.

Is feeling like this better? I can't convince myself.

artificially charged

A bloody prank call woke me up at 4 bleeding am this morning. I had barely slept for two hours after tossing and turning, first day jitters always make me an insomniac. Then that prankster rang my place, caused me to jerk awake and I just laid there awake till it was time to get my ass off the bed. Arghhhh so I was artificially charged for the whole day.

*************************************************

I don't know what to expect. In fact I have no expectations at all, I just want to zou yi bu kan yi bu.

Come what may.

*************************************************

Where on earth is my christmassy mood?

glitter lust

Check this out. A diamond studded camera that costs $50,000 and I assume it's in US dollars. I can find fake diamontes and stick them on my camera too. Isn't that the same thing? Haha. Anyway I don't have such free time to doll up my gadgets.

The DnD of the previous night seemed fun from the photos. Noticed a few party crashers. Made me kinda regret not crashing in as well but then again I have no outfit. Lately I have been dreaming of black stockings with killer red heels though. That would make quite a statement. Well, anyway, stop dreaming. No DnDs for me this in 2006.

random thoughts

It must have taken me 20 minutes to log in successfully to blogger. Grrr.

It is rather scary that days can fly by when one is not doing anything. In fact it seems to fly faster. Ironically. Isn't it supposed to be the other way round? To fly when one is slogging? But not when one is doing something one loathes, the days somehow slow to a crawl. So as to savour the act of torturing.

Alright, enough of the nonsense. I am going to miss working my schedule around the TV but then there's always youtube. Just pray it doesn't stream 5 minutes then die. Or bitcomet but that takes ages.

I need a haircut.

I need a bigger bag.

I need a longer break.

And I hate it when people don't understand and still derive pleasure out of it. Okay maybe pleasure is not the right word. Somehow I don't see why you have the right to get mad when you don't even know the reasons. Or allow me to explain. Damn, I don't even feel I owe you an explanation. Fine, so be it.

red is IN

I like fiery red shoes lately and I got myself a pair of red heels today. Goody cept it doesn't seem very sensible to wear red to work. Or will it become purely ornamental and start gathering dust at home cos I would rather wear slippers/birks for shopping? My first love was actually this pair of maroon patent shoes from Aldo but alas I couldn't bring myself to bring them home due to the hefty $129 pricetag. And just when I can obtain a miserable 10% discount, they no longer had my size. Sigh. What does this mean? To wait or not to wait....

Anyway I saw Chen Hanwei at paragon today. I recognized his voice first before I saw the person. Out of the corner of my eye, this lanky dude was saying bye to this other lady (with a kids trolley I think) and I thought the voice sounded familiar. Then I did a double take for a closer look. And yeah it was the man himself, looks exactly the same as the just-concluded 9pm show (lang man man wu). I think he knew I was looking (me being kaypo). He seems pretty nice though to specially gesture and allow this family with kids to enter the lift first before he did.

Wahahaha this is really bad but I am lusting for bags again. Uh oh...oh..no....

bad girl

The stupid blogger keeps prompting me to upgrade but it is not helping me on it. Sure I have a gmail account but what is the next step? I see no button to click to advance to the next stage of upgrading and pressing 'Enter' on the keyboard doesn't help either. So to hell with it, I don't need to be upgraded. I am perfectly fine with adding entries the way it was in the past.

Anyway I have been a bad, bad girl last week and will continue to be bad (hopefully) for one last time come Monday. I am suffering the consequences for being bad in terms of monetary outflows. Sigh.

It will soon be over, yah.

enduree

I am going to have to master the art of endurance for the next five days. But I am really quite pessimistic, demoralized and so forth possibly due to the hard knock to my confidence a few weeks ago.

I doubt I can finish my stuff but no way am I going to stay late and put in the extra hours (when they are no longer claimable).

My stay is too brief to show any form of goodwill.

old skeletons in the closet

I dug out a story I posted online 3 years ago. The website had deactivated my account and well I re-activated it. And my story was still there, all twelve chapters. It was an unfinished business as in the story was never completed. I enjoyed writing short stories during my secondary school days. Couldn't really indulge in this in junior college due to the heavier workload but this particular unfinished tale was done in year 2003 when I was in uni already.....because I wanted to archive certain events that happened in real life into the story, as a form of remembrance. I can't remember why I never got around to finish it but probably cos no time lah.

Skimming through it now brings back a flood of memories. Things I haven't exactly forgotten but have put it behind me.

Now I am truly feeling nostalgic.

when fever strikes

Dang.

I came down with some viral infection in the wee hours of this morning, thinking it was nothing I went down to client's place and soon I was experiencing sharp pains in my tummy and my legs were all wobbly and stuff. Silly client had a four storey building without lifts and it was quite a torture climbing up and down. My head was getting increasingly heavy and body getting weaker by the minute, I decided to take half a day of mc. I suppose the senior won't be too pleased especially since the doc gave me another day off cos......I didn't even know I was running a 38.3 degrees fever. Doc asked if I had fever, I said no. He didn't believe and stuck the thermometer tingy in my ear and exclaimed at the high reading. Okay fine..I was all gooey but didn't know I was burning inside.

Sigh just wish for the next 2 weeks to fly past. And why is it that after one week of being unassigned, I had to fall sick on the second day of work. It is a case of immune system not knowing how to react.

I haven't had fever since the longest of time. Or maybe I never realised it.

bahhh

I saw my JC crush today, him being my first serious crush...and sometimes I would wonder to myself if I'll ever see him again. As luck would have it (after so many years), I think he works in the office tower beside my current workplace (which is the second tower with the same name). I was on job today and decided to go earlier. As I was dragging my feet to work, I saw this familiar figure wearing checked pink shirt, no-nonsense pants and a pair of well polished shoes in front of me. He would have blended into the corporate crowd if not for that sorta dusty black eastpak he had slung over one shoulder and THAT characteristic way he walks. Dammit...I don't know how to describe...I badly wanted to overtake him and take a closer look. Ended up almost following him into the (wrong) lobby. It would have been damn embarassing if I were to be stopped by the security (for not having the right ID pass), ha.

Unfortunately I am leaving the second tower...but at least now I have a very good idea which company he could be working for. Of course there are zillions of tenants in that buildings but I am having a very good guess now. It is just too bad I'm leavingggg......It is good to see him though. :)

self-denial

Was in self-denying mode for the past four days. I would call it the extended weekend where I did absolutely nothing but engaged in brainless whackings.

So my long weekend is over and gee, it's Monday again. I have no idea what's in store....to continue to self-deny or to make that one-time decision that will spell a shock move and change alot of things dramatically.

In a way, I got what I wanted.

square one

Fate is really cruel.

After 3 months, I am back to square one? Back to where I originally wanted things to be. Take note of the past tense because I no longer feel like wanting it this way anymore. Perhaps if things have gone my way 3 months ago.....okay I don't know how to continue with this statement as I hate what-if scenarios now. Cos nothing ever turns out right. I feel jinxed.

It is ridiculous.