Bummer

I must be one of the rare few in Sg who's not enjoying her long weekend and hoping for it to be over asap.

Hopeless

I suspect I have blogged about this JJ Lin song before. But hell, I'm feeling every single freaking word in the lyrics. Okay, most of it anyway.

Black Warrior
作詞：五月天 阿信 作曲：林俊傑

有了天空 為何世界 還有 地心引力
有了希望 為何絕望 還是 如影隨形
有了勇氣 就讓哭泣 埋葬過去
去寫一種歷史 名字叫奇蹟
如果恐懼就像火炬 那就讓它沸騰我血液 帶我到絕地
喔 我才能完全 覺醒
在黑暗 的對面 是光明 光明 後面 是陰影
正義 邪惡 是誰 有權 定義
在命運 的前面 我懷疑
在面具 後面 鐵一般決心 光榮的犧牲 也是種榮譽
不怕人說 不要人懂 我要證明 明天我的姓名 將會是傳奇
如果恐懼就像火炬 那就讓它沸騰我血液 帶我到絕地
喔 我才能完全 覺醒
在黑暗 的對面 是光明 光明 後面 是陰影
正義 邪惡 是誰 有權 定義
在命運 的前面 我懷疑
在面具 後面 鐵一般決心 光榮的犧牲 也是種榮譽
失敗會設下陷阱 沒有勝利會發出邀請
只有我自己 喔 能夠還我自己 公平 還我自己 公平
在黑暗 的對面 是光明 光明 後面 是陰影
正義 邪惡 是誰 有權 定義
在命運 的前面 我懷疑 在面具 後面 鐵一般決心
要扭轉命運最後的反擊

For this moment, I love JJ Lin (Mayday's 阿信, whoever wrote this song). Move aside Jay.

Is my self-constructed bubble of hope about to burst? As my mood declines to its worst on a Friday.

I still have 2 fat files to clear with the manager later, yeah what a fantastic end to this week. The long weekend is non-appealing. My life stinks too much for anything to appeal to me.

Liverpool~~~~~

I was peeved that I couldn't get the east/grand stand tickets (and even more annoyed with Steven Gerrard's absence). But turned out that my South Stand behind-the-goalpost was a blessed spot with 4 out of the 5 goals being netted in at my end. :)

Perhaps most of the female population was waiting for the grand entrance of him.

Fernando Torres

Okay lah, very cute meh? I think it's the blond streaks and he's not a natural blond. :p Anyway I can only see a tiny speck of him running around in his No 9 shirt. The new away kit isn't very friendly on the eye either. It looks like dull gold against the black.

Stevie, wait for me! Don't you dare retire or club hop anywhere, I'm going to Anfield to see you one day!!!!

RPattz, down memory lane

There is just something about this guy that has transformed me into part of his screaming legion of fans. Right, except I don’t scream.

I wasn’t attracted to him when I first saw him in Twilight. Probably due to the grainy and sketchy effects of the Krisworld entertainment system onboard SQXXX. I cannot remember which flight is that.

I was into a certain Mr Crawford despite his ornamental/manwhore role in Gossip Girl.

His new look for GG Season 3 and he is still gorgeous

And then one day, I came across a teenie pic of him in a mag and was drawn to his sexy, brooding look. It didn't take Google long to churn out more of the sexy brooding, what some described also as "roguishly stoned looks." And I'm in love, sighh. Haha.

I didn't re-watch Twilight although I have it in dvd. Instead I was excited to re-watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire to see how much the boy has grown since his Cedric Diggory days.

Cedric Diggory (Fresh faced teen)

Him with the rest of the HP cast, looking slightly awkward and out of place

Him at HP's Goblet of fire NYC premiere..omg, already looking hot. Where did the awkwardness go to?
A recent photoshoot. Still irresistibly hot with the tousled hair.

I will spare you of any Twilight pics for the moment. I must repeat it wasn't strictly because of Edward Cullen. I think he's too pale, lol. I prefer the Rob as he is, human.

Bloody disappointed

Is it my fault that I didn't check Steven Gerrard's personal calendar and getting to know that he isn't PART of LFC's asian tour due to his assault court case? I was simply too busy. All I knew was that Liverpool's coming, I gotta go and it's my chance (finally) to see my favourite footballer. Since he didn't turn up 8 years ago in Sg due to an injury.....And it doesn't help that our stupid local papers were creating this false impression and misrepresenting that he will be here...

Argh, I'm DISAPPOINTED. 8 years ago he wasn't here, 8 years later due to that stupid court case (why must you get embroiled in that??!!!!!) he is not coming AGAIN.

At this rate, I'll never get to see him (play) in person and then he retires in 2013 or what..

in between reality and fiction

Definition of a zombie as extracted from Wikipedia: A reanimated corpse or a mindless human being.

And that is exactly what I am now.

I haven't been updating here diligently and probably no one is checking back here anymore, which suits me just fine.

The last thing I want is probably real life confrontation on what's going on. I don't think I can handle any questionings unless I'm ready to tell you myself.

My life is a spectacular failure. I don't even know how on earth things can go SO WRONG. Things picked up a little and was seemingly going the way I prayed so hard and then it had to go back to square one. I was doomed for this right from the beginning.

I felt like a total zombie for the whole weekend. A zombie that surprisingly can still turn on the tear ducts as and when. I don't think real mindless corpses are capable of crying, do they?

Brought back alot of work to do, work that needs to be finished before I fly off this coming Sunday but I barely touched anything. Other than moping around or reading the Twilight series (I'm on the third book now). Bad choice for reading materials......I feel as jinxed as the female protagonist. As per this particular line in the book where the black box won't even survive if she or I get into a planecrash. Or maybe I'll get infected with H1N1 first. The chances of that are higher. However, I do not have an Edward Cullen to protect and tell me that everyting's going to be okay. Cos nothing will, and I mean this in a bitter tone.

Although Twilight is a teenage series and I'm probably too old for this but I always had this obsession for vampire tales since the Anne Rice days and my love for Armand, the forever 16 year old while I have outgrown him by 10 years now.Okay, not talking sense anymore, I need to get some work done so I'll feel less guilty but guilt doesn't count that much either when the end is already so near.

I should ban myself from wikipedia as I have accidentally read spoilers for the 4th book, damn it.

苦中作乐-ing in London

I'm going to be so utterly broke after this working trip.

Usually I don't shop that much on working trips with the exception of the Hong Kong work trip last year. But I definitely spent more than last year anyway. Bleah.

3 weekends of shopping in London + 1 weekend in Paris. I'm lucky I don't have to pay for meals and accomodation else I'm on my way to bankruptcy.

This is like so 苦中作乐. Yes, I'm still working. This is no holiday.

Lost touch

Something tells me that I haven't taken the MRT for a long time when I saw to my surprise (today) that Boon Lay was not longer the terminal station of the west bound line but Joo Koon. Wherever the hell that is and I thought it's some station that is connected or near to NTU, well apparently not.

ALL holed up once more

I'm showing symptoms of depression.

It helped abit that I was able to get it all out to a friend last Friday.

Bottling up and holing oneself up at home sure didn't seem like a good solution.

However I'm still depressed and totally dreading tomorrow.

Why on earth did I let an irritant get to me so much?

I wished I don't ever have to see him again, or make him disappear from my sight.

I don't wish to work with him ever again.

I wish I can just ask him to fuck off.

I'm so glad it's a short week. Only 4 days.

C'mon girl, you can stomach this. 4 days plus another week more and you'll be off to your 2 cities, 6 apartments' worth of shit. Zillions of miles away from the living terror who will be far away in the southern hemisphere.

Impending doom

2 cities. 6 apartments. 1 corporate office. 4 weeks. And 3 of us.

How the hell are we going to finish?

Be careful what I wished for huh. I only wanted my first taste of hospitality jobs, not 6 times of it.

My knees are going weak at the thought of it.

9 years ago....

Happy birthday to YOU.

Sorry that I can't wish you on FB.

I'm alive, yes.

Yeah I have disappeared for a good 1.5 months from the blogosphere and I'm in time for a end March entry, or I'll be skipping a month for my archives, and that won't look very nice.

The last 1 month had its ups and downs. Mostly downs.

1) The SH job was a horror.
2) It won't be half as horrible if I hadn't met the most irritating man on earth aka my colleague, team mate on the same job
3) Still suffering the after-effects back at home. Somebody should tell my boss to include CLEARING review points hours in her bloody budget. Or give fewer points.

Other than that, I don't remember any UPs.

Sigh and the Seoul trip I was looking forward to evaporated due to friend's last minute change of mind.

Don't ever pin hopes/happiness on fickle-minded friend.

Although I'm relieved I ain't going on leave next week due to the immensely disgusting workload.

On a brighter note, I booked my Taiwan trip, hahahahah something to look forward to despite it being a whole 2 months away. My 6th trip, I've been called a Taiwan freak. Who cares. I heart Taiwan.

Seeing that the economy is so stinkish, going Taiwan is probably the best choice since it doesn't burn deep.

grey & depressing

There is nothing aesthetic about building a full length window right beside the bathtub. So the purpose is for one to enjoy the city lights from the tub? Not when bathing obviously as the curtains would be drawn...what I am referring to is, try bathing beside a window when it's freaking 8-9 degrees and raining outside. And the window glass is not that thick loh.

The hot water did help abit but not when I was done and had to rush out in a frenzy to wrap myself in towel and get dressed asap before I freeze to death in the bathroom. Okay I'm exaggerating but the temperature might just fall to below 5 in the next few days. So, DON'T build windows beside bathtubs! Unless it's in tropical countries.

In other words, Shanghai is depressingly overcast, grey and rainy. I hate cold, wet weather. Cold, snowy weather (not snow storms) is preferred as the snow dries faster as compared to rain water on my jacket. *Misses Turkey*

I'm trying hard not to think too much about the one month that I have to stay here...

Edit:

The office has no heater. The washroom feels like a freezer.

My work desk in the hotel faces the mirror too. I'm so going to change room.

2009 has barely started and I already have one big fat regret. And that is missing Sylvia Chang's Design for Living. And yeah read: Joe Cheng.

I was informed about this play back in December and being not a very play person, I only did a half-hearted search on sistic (turned out that I should have tried the Esplanade site). I had absolutely no knowledge of when the play was going to be on in Sg. I even dismissed the search as I thought I might not be in town to catch it. So I only got to know the dates on 31st January. 31 Jan was the last day of the play and I knew about it at night!!

Yes, I'm blind to all the print/tv advertisments etc...and so I missed my chance to see HIM in the flesh. So what if the reason for this is totally fangirlish and shallow? The reviews for the play were positive too, I guess I'd have enjoyed it plus the eyecandy factor of the guy i have been oohing over since 2003 The Rose days. I can even stand his long locks then, haha.

The Taipei leg of the play is in April....and no I do not have ideas in my head. LOL. I can't even if I want to, I will be heading for another 1 month job during the same period, to a place that might bring me closer to another long-time love steven gerrard, if the schedule doesn't CHANGE. and I survive shanghai first.

I'm just as dysfunctional as last week as the holiday mood continues. How I wish chu san is a holiday! I try not to take leave as my leave are strictly to be used (as far as possible) on vacations and not for nua-ing at home.

But boy am I glad that I did not have to work during the CNY long weekend. First time in 3 freaking years! The first year I completely skipped all the bai-nian to slog at home. For the 2nd and 3rd year thereafter, I decided to commence work only on the 2nd day of the lunar new year and gave myself a break on chuyi.

I'm glad that is all over now. :)

Yeah be thankful for all the little things.

I'm so damn sleepy now thanks to some drunkards, both men and women, who were making a racket near my void deck in the wee hours of the morning. Arghhhhh.

I'm completely dysfunctional at work this week. Not that I hope for a bomb to rain down in order to wake me up from this stupor. Maybe I'm already in a holiday mood or just plain tired, after having been away from home for one whole month. And just semi-recovered from a battered self esteem. This is self-induced but I'll live with it.

So for the next few weeks, I hope to meet up with as many friends as possible before heading over to camp at Shanghai. Thank goodness it's Shanghai but sadly, I have a couple of 1 month 3rd world countries jobs coming up...I might just go mad there.

I hope the schedule changesssss!

Happy 2009!

IthinkImaynotbeabletogohomeasscheduledthisfriday.

Due to some unforeseen circumstances.

I'm missing home so much. I hardly had chance to catch my breath after my Turkey winter wonderland and then I had to jet off to HCMC. Initially I was quite happy that it's only a 2 week assignment but now horror, it's gonna extend over 2 weeks and there goes my weekend. I thought I could finally sleep in or do some catching up with friends before the CNY. And then it's less than one month in SG before I jet off to Shanghai for a WHOLE month. Gulps.

There you have it, I'm hardly at home and I do wish for some local assignments so that SG would stop feeling so much like a resort and more like home.

I'll just pen a few lines on my 2008 since there's no time nor mood for a long reflection.

First half of the year was spent in Company A where I had my third and last financial peak as an extern@l @uditor. Haha and this is about the only thing that I don't miss. Other than that I had my good moments in the company and got to know some really nice people. But then again, my hectic flying around don't give me much chance to catch up with the handful of them. :(

The pace in Company B is slightly slower and I mean only slightly cos the stress level is still high and the amount of work just as crushing. But I get fewer emails than I was in Company A and that was the first real difference I noted. Hahaha.

Other notable random things from 08:

I travelled to 6 countries in the second half of the year. In chronological order: Hong Kong, Shenzhen, New Zealand, Taiwan, Thailand and Turkey. Out of which, Taiwan (Taipei) and Turkey were my own vacations.

I added my jc crush, last mentioned in here, more than six months ago on facebook. And he didn't acknowledge the friend request and I totally regretted it as I felt silly and wished there was an option to un-do the whole add as friend thingy. And than my jaw dropped when he actually accepted the friend's request on December 23rd. That was one 见鬼 incident on facebook. Lol. Haha good, now I can kpo on my past crushes on facebook.

Okay that's about it for 08. In summary, it was quite a shitty year but we can leave out the shit since elaborations are in previous entries ;).

Let's hope 09 be a better year despite the stinky economy.

early resolutions

My heart sank when I clicked the fund transfer button to my friend as she helped me change USD for our upcoming trip. This is my most expensive trip to date and it is going to take months to bring the bank balance back to a healthy level. :(

I don't usually do this but...

New year resolution #1

I need to spend less and start saving, like from this month's pay onwards.

New year resolution #2

To maintain double digit figure for my credit card bills...haha, like is this even possible but I'll try...from Feb 08 onwards cos my Jan 09 bills will just be as disgusting. Actually it's possible, I'll just lock my cards at home.

Crappy weekend

I didn't realise my Dec 2nd post was my 200th entry. Oh erm well, happy 201st then.

I did my last minute shopping at Mango end-of-season sale today for my upcoming trip. I needed more cardigans....so now I'm more or less winter-equipped (I hope). Else I'll just pile on the layers. And why is it that I always have to spend money before going on holiday. Sigh. I'm like soooooooo very broke.

Besides being BROKE, I'm also very dead in terms of my work progress. After being bombarded with review points from the previous nightmare, I ended up with alarmingly, little time to wrap up on the BKK job.

Intended to start on it this weekend but I fell sick on Saturday..as in really bad headache, feverish with wobbly legs and so I had to take medication and lie in bed for the whole afternoon. Wanted to do the shopping on Sat then work through my Sunday. And well my Sunday's almost over and yours truly just sat down to do her documentations. Sigh.

When I rather be watching East of Eden or that hilarious Miss No-Good. AHhhhh..buck up, buck up and maybe you can watch one miserable episode later.

embroiled in political frenzy

I find it quite comical now after our early week frenzy about whether we can get back home via u-tapao/phuket/chiangmai etc, the protest is gonna end officially tomorrow after the court gave its ruling.

Which means there is a chance we might not have to travel to the far-flung military airport.

And leave the service apartment at unearthly 3-4am.

It's quite interesting actually to see how things progress (minus the frustration of not knowing if one can get home) when usually I'll be nonchalant towards this if I'm back at home. Now I'm fully updated with bkk political changes as well as the latest mumbai updates due to my constant refreshing of channelnewsasia.

I've got 101 things to do back in the apartment and I feel so un-motivated. I have been feeling un-motivated for the past 2.5 weeks. I just want to go homeeeee. I feel as if I'm hardly home. Even when I'm on leave, I'll be flying somewhere for my vacation. Yeah just take a look at my upcoming Dec schedule - 20 - 31 Dec --> out-of-town Vacation and then 4th Jan off to vietnam for work for another THREE weeks. Urgh. When I return, it'll be CNY.

Where got time to buy new clothes?!