shortchanged

I feel so shortchanged.

My efforts don't get recognised is one thing. Screwing up the B and giving me less than what I officially deserve (as stated in black and white) is even more fucked up.

I believe I was behaving like a bitch towards my senior for the whole of last week over the slightest things. Firstly I was pms-y, secondly I disagree with some of the things that I had to do, on the whole I was just extremely touche. I felt apologetic but what the heck, whatever efforts I put in won't be appreciated in the end anyway. Nothing matters anymore.

Next week would be an interesting week.

28th August 2006

The truth is, I am more interested in leaving than getting a transfer which is unlike the others. Hence people who wishes to get a transfer but fear the possibility of being rejected aren't rejecting the idea of staying on in the department. But of course that is totally not an option for me as I am more or less set on leave, with or without a job. It is true that things aren't as rosy over in the other departments but certain things like basic welfare, they still somewhat have (doesn't sound convincing but should be better).

I am even excited about leaving. Oh god..the thought of it is too glorious. The pastures ahead are unknown but honestly anything now beats rotting to death in this place I currently call my workplace.

So here I am casting my net wide and abit blindly, hoping for some sort of indication/light (please don't let it be be the headlights of an incoming train) whatsoever....let next week be the last week that I'll ever be depressed in that place.

8 days more.

Oppressed..i hate my life

Am I supposed to feel guilty that the newly promoted senior is now slogging away in office on National Day? Well, I am doing work at home too and I don't really give a damn especially since I am in a throw letter mood every, single day. In fact the two letters are tucked nicely in my laptop bag, waiting for their grand appearance.

I feel so oppressed. Although I know I sorta have the upperhand, be it that I can throw letter anytime and heck the job, but the problem is I am given so very little time to complete the shit and worse still, can't charge more than what I'm allocated. Fuck it....and what to do if the client is on mc till Friday? Will the silly manager take this into account? Throwing the letter can solve this issue. After that I won't be obliged to. Except I will be unemployed really soon. Yay.

Sigh...with the NDP blaring away in the background...and I'm so down in the doldrums.

Once upon a time, there was hope.

Web fun: Which city do you belong in?

You Belong in Paris

Stylish and a little sassy, you were meant for Paris. The art, the fashion, the wine, the men! Whether you're enjoying the cafe life or a beautiful park... You'll love living in the most chic place on earth.

What City Do You Belong In?

Bam!

Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel could be the headlights of an oncoming train.

no light at the end of the tunnel

The cat is officially out of the bag as the intention to either leave or transfer was made known to one of the management. She was actually pretty nice about it but hinted about the consequences. What the heck, my mind is made up and I can't wait to leave except I have just kicked myself in the foot and possibly sabotaged my one and only chance. Sigh. It is now or never.....never mind the stinky job that might kill me in the next three weeks. The thought of leaving will motivate me on.

I really honestly can't believe how incredibly bad my luck can get. Can't things just change for the better? Can't I seek solace in something other than the fact that I am going to be unemployed damn soon? What a way to comfort myself....

There is no light at the end of the tunnel.

Jinxed

Earlier ie showed my blog as a flurry of mess. I was beginning to wonder what else can go wrong....can't believe a sim card can cost me my future.

I am jinxed, honestly. Sigh.

I shall just continue to be dazed.

what 3G?

My first 3G experience was anything but 3G. It's not even 2G....it's nothing... when I can't even make calls. My reception bar is nil. I spent last night and most of today trying to talk things out with the singtel people, only with them insisting that my connection has been set up and that I haven't logged in. I followed all their instructions, what with taking my sim card out numerous times, charging my phone to the brim and they even came up with silly suggestions that maybe my area is causing the phone to have no reception. What rubbish leh....

And how could they deactivate my 2G sim when the 3G wasn't even ready? So the final conclusion is that my new sim card is faulty and they have replaced a new one and it needs another freaking one more day before I can see IF it works. I have lost faith....I hope no one important calls me...this is so fucked up.

This just shows how bloody dependent I am on my phone. Am now using my dad's number and don't think I'm dao if I don't reply any messages. Cos I can't see any.

我們的紀念日

我的心忽然又活了

總在見到你的那一刻

原來我也有過這樣的激動

只是在習慣自我保護後　忘了... 想聊的故事太長了

反而就都沉默的笑著 金色陽光灑在你雙手上頭

看起來好暖讓我想緊緊握著


這是我們的紀念日　紀念我們開始對自己誠實 願意為深愛的人　

放棄驕傲　說少了你生活淡的沒有味道 這是美麗的紀念日　

紀念我們能重新認識一次 有些事要流過淚才看的到　

不求完美愛的更遠　要過的更好



我用寂寞來懲罰我　看著你走過　

要什麼當時不說 此刻能有你傾聽我　

心情的轉折　 那是種告解以後　讓人想哭的快樂

ridiculously expensive wishlist

As of now, I have two items on my wish list and together they cost close to $2k. Extremely material for a poor soul like me.

And well they are just wants, not needs and I can do without item A for a long time to come....item B I can do without too but I would like to have it asap for some practical reasons.

So that leaves item B! :)

I'll work towards it.

Sick at home

Had a really bad cough for the whole of last week and I thought I recovered by the beginning of this week cos the cough kind of subsided...but the first 3 days of undue stress did its toil on me and now I landed myself with the full package - flu+cough. And it was totally unnecessary but of course I can't predict the future else I won't have tried to work myself to death to meet with the unrealistic deadline. On Thursday morning, the client decided they couldn't deliver (and neither could we when we were the ones being pushed at the beginning) and they called off the interim 6 months audit...when I was already half-way drowning in my sections. Brilliant isn't it. So we packed up our stuff, left the client's place (the only good thing was that the place was just a freaking 5 min ride from my home) and went back office. Knew I would be arrowed once more and I was already too sick then, I told the AO I'm gonna take mc. For half of yesterday and today.

So here I am at home with my still-runny nose and a really bad throat. Watched 'Click' in the afternoon and it was just another typical feel-good family-man-has-it-all-but-decided-to-squander-his-life-away-with-a-powerful-remote control-that-controls-his-life-instead-of-the-other-way-round. Then he regrets but it still ends nicely cos right at the beginning, there was already a hint that this show ain't gonna end tragically. But boy would I love to have that remote. Ha it would be quite nice to mute my managers altogether.

Kill me already

I have been coughing non-stop. Especially in the early morning and nightfall and I am still drinking tea and eating spicy food. How's that gonna help? It was a sore throat that evolved into a whooping cough. I didn't see a doc though...the temptation to get an mc was extremely enticing. But I gotta save my mcs for rainy days. Sigh. So when I'm actually sick, I will live with it and drag myself to work.

This week ain't half as bad cos it was all brainless chores. Next week onwards I'll be complete dead meat. I'll know it once I'm at the client's place. But the prelude is hereby preparing me for the very worst. My first job as a second year assistant. Argh. Greater responsibilities with sections I have never done before. And not sure if there will be a nice soul to guide me should the need arise or I'll just end up screwing up the job. Lovely isn't it. Think inventory and deferred taxes. I was nodding off during trainings so kill me.

I can't believe that it was only last week that I was having fun in Taipei. It seemed eons ago.

Dead Man's Chest

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest has a rather unsatisfying ending. Never mind that I badly needed to go the loo plus enduring a cough that won't go away. However it was a good thing that channel five showed Pirates 1 as yours truly didn't catch it when it was in the theatres else I would have been just a little lost. As was my friend who missed Pirates 1 too. Johnny Depp was a joy to watch especially when he was uttering gibberish to a bunch of cannibals and fluttering those painted eyes of his. And of course the fruit fiasco where papayas, watermelons and what not were flung all over the place from what looked like a kebab stick with Depp stuck in the middle. Orlando was a doll as usual but Depp stole the limelight naturally cos he was simply too hilarious. And Keira Knightley got to smooch the two leads in this sequel. Lucky girl indeed


And I saw Spidey 3 trailer!!! I'm so happy since Superman was disappointing. I think I'll just end up comparing all such comic-related movies to spidey since I personally enjoy Spiderman alot and the others seemed to pale in comparison aka boring.

On the whole I enjoyed the movie although I found it a little too long, perhaps due to my uncomfortable state and also that ending (why?????). Do stay till the credits roll finish...and when is Pirates 3 coming?

Note: The middle portion are potential spoilers that might hurt your eyes as with the colour of the font.

arrowfied

I don't know why I kena so many arrows this week, okay in fact it started from last week when I was recalled back to work from my negative toil (which I rather work than take). I was pushed into a job that was half-done with alot of outstanding points. Furthermore I was the third person to take over the job and needless to say, I was totally lost on the first day, trying to grasp what the other people were doing before me and it didn't help that the senior was clueless about what her other assistants have done. Brilliant isn't it. This is all too familiar. I was doing it half-heartedly not knowing that I would kena direct review by the manager. Brilliant again for she raised her voice at me even though it was no fault of mine. It was only when I reasoned with her that she lowered her volume. Argh.

Midweek I pulled out of the job and thought I could breathe but NO, I kena some admin shit which was to update the soft copies of a dozen companies and also to zap the what-nots in the files. Might as well zap the whole file. It didn't kill my brain cells but it was very tedious. And very straining on my poor eyes. Thank goodness for the intern. I was quite optimistic and thought that we could finish all FY02-05 (three bleeding years' worth of audit) stuff by this week but turned out we couldn't. But it was thankful that the senior didn't insist else I foresee myself not going home tonight.

I'm so very tired. Perhaps I should have just taken mc on Thursday and give myself some well-deserved rest before I fly in some twelve hours' time. Gotta go try to make sure that all my stuff are in the luggage and dammit...I forgot to buy saline. Drats!

realism

I had an out of sort dream last night. It was all jumbled up with pieces of reality that I just had to blog about it. In fact it was a bad dream....

I dreamt I was at JJ's concert (which I will be going come Saturday) with my bag which had a spoilt zip (yes my handbag's zip is indeed spoilt). And during the concert in its dark setting, someone pinched my wallet, phone and this envelope which contained my Taipei air tickets (they are safely tucked in my drawer). When I realised this in my dream, I was so damn miserable and seemingly lost all interest in JJ who was prancing about on the stage very near to me. One day went by and I found my wallet emptied of cash and cards and dumped at my doorstep without the phone nor the air tix.

Stupid dream indeed. I guess I'm just stressed due to work, being the third person to clear the shit of two others who did it before me and not knowing where the heck the figures came from. In fact I did the whole job almost half-heartedly too...the drive just ain't there anymore.

recalled

I wrote a very pessimistic post yesterday and saved it as draft. Well I think I am not publishing that post...

Anyway, absolutely brilliant, I received a text message from the manager earlier asking (Note: Managers don't ask, you obey so basically that is a just a nicer way of getting things across) me if I could go back to help out with this job for the rest of this week. When I am supposed to be on NEGATIVE toil this week so Hooray, I don't have to subject myself to any more shit from this place. But there is still a very high chance of making me go on leave on the last week of June. Urgh.

rest

After almost religiously catching one match per day for the past few days, I'm not catching any matches tonight. Cos favourite few teams are not playing till the next match which is on Sunday 12 midnight - Italy vs USA. The last match that the Azzurri played...it was too late at 3am but anyway I'll be able to watch all (actually not all but selectively) the 3am matches next week. Why? Because I'm made to go on leave again...brrrrrrrrreeeeeegh. Stupid company and its even stupidier policies. I don't need to go more into this.

People are roaring around my neighbourhood. Must be a goal..ha.

Currently msn-ing with my CLIENT, oh my....she is super curious about my work life which is just about the last thing I wanna elaborate on a friday night. But it's better than she talking about work but I'm sure that's the last thing she wanna discuss too..Ha. It's AFTER office hours and normal commercial firms people do have a life. Unlike us. And also I have already pulled out of this particular job.

Another roar. Another goal?

Let's check the scoreline. As of now, Netherlands 2 Ivory Coast 0.

No wonder.

One can just hear the number of roars to know the number of goals.

Time for my beauty rest once again, goodnight.

England 2 Trini 0 (sweet relief)

I was starting to lose interest in the England vs Trinidad & Tobago match due to the frustrating nil-nil first half and a goaless second half still right up to the eightieth minute. Till Crouch finally struck in the 84th minute and Stevie wrapping up the match nicely with a late 91st minute goal. Both goals from Liverpool players. *beams*

Time for bed and I'm still slightly miffed over what happened in office today but no time for that now, sleep is more important.

geek talk

I am not done with this template but that is the best I can customize for now because I'm sleepy...I'm tired and I don't want to do anymore.

It is still pretty screwed up in the sense that my encoding (I don't know about yours) have to be repeatedly set to Unicode (UTF-8) in internet explorer in order not to have funny characters appear out of the blue in between my postings. And try not to view this in firefox cos it just plain sucks. The layout goes haywire. But at least my humble little blog looks more pleasing to the eye now and perhaps make me more motivated to blog regularly. Ha.

Spain 4 Ukraine 0. Yay. Although I missed the first 2 goals but was compensated with the next two. hee. :D

And yay again for both pairs of birks that I ordered have finally arrived..from Germany! I was beginning to suspect that the world cup has something to do with the delay shipment. Gonna collect them within these few days. WHee.

tae han min guk

大韓民國 ~

pronounced as tae han min guk in korean

The chant they led during World Cup 2002.

And once more 大韓民國 ~ :)

I actually went to google earlier about my lid twitching problem and the web results show that eye twitching is often caused by fatigue, stress and caffeine.

Erm okay, fair enough...I guess I'm usually prone to the above.