insomnia

I didn't sleep a wink last night. Maybe I was in between consciousness but in any case I was fully aware of the time ticking past and was checking my alarm clock by the hour.

WHY.

Refer to the previous entry. I can't believe I'm losing sleep over i*c.

In reality, I'm in denial and fleeing.

Flying off on Sunday but yet I feel no thrill. That shit is really killing my hols.

moodless

My precious one week leave is coming up soon but sadly I'm in no holiday mood. Not when there are 2 deadlines right smack in my face and these 2 deadlines are coincidentally (or unfortunately) during my leave. Okay yes, like seriously how fucked up can this get?

I won't be so concerned if there are people available to follow up as after all, this is a huge job with the whole world booked on it. BUT NO, everyone's busy as hell and no one is going to have the time to do the shitty subsequent event review for my 2 or rather 3 (unwillingly forced to adopt one) pathetic entities. And the stupid manager will just keep hounding people who are not booked on the job to complete it....I wonder what would be his reaction once he knows I'm going on leave, that is if he doesn't know by now already. I did mention to him before previously in an email. Maybe it didn't get drilled into his thick skull.

To be fair, my last week of march was X-ed out by the planner and of course I seized the opportunity to plan my toil there to enjoy a brief break. And I only got to knew the internal deadline on Friday. My holiday mood is totally evaporating now. People are going to point fingers at the girl who's taking leave on the week that the shit is finalising on the audit. Well in the first place, you guys only booked the pure brat to follow up.

Honestly, the pure brat has too many outstanding things on her hands to complete by next week (I'm even wondering if their so-called internal deadline is feasible. Expecting to see shit in my inbox when I return from Taipei.) I even feel bad now having to email the outstanding matters to her although I'm sure she is fully updated on the status of things. So who will be penalized in the end? I don't have to repeat that I wasn't booked on it and the pure brat is only one person. So can't blame her too, blame the manager. Blame the lousy staff allocation. Blame i*c.

I suspect also that the pure brat shifted the planning for these few shit entities to me in September. Well maybe I'll be out by then unless some miracle happens.

Enough of the shit above. I think I'm infatuated with se7en now, much as I don't like to admit cos he's like one year younger? ah sheesh. But I think he has such sexy lips and a good bod. He just started to grow on me towards the last few episodes of Goong S because the story only got better at the last few episodes. Okay well, no more Goong S, no Goong withdrawal symptoms like the first Goong...I need to get the se7olution album.

horrigible shit

All good things must come to an end.

The last proper entry was like almost two weeks ago so seeing that time has lapsed and I haven't blogged...I am treading on very thin ice now after the Monday that I was summoned to see the shipping shit manager after working hours. That is the problem when there are no seniors hovering above, I get a good taste of what it's like to be a tic. It's not just the backlog, it's the ownership and fuck it, I was only playing a supporting role seeing that this entity was assigned to the pure brat initially. I've become a slave to my email and somehow living in fear, having to check it at least twice a day (client's place no internet access) and holding my breath whenever there is a pop-up that announced that I've got new mail. All thanks to the shipping shit. Anything that relates to it can only spell more work and worse still, to see one liner such as "Call me now" from the manager.

Argh I don't know when I can shrug off this shipping shit and I'm going on leave in about 1.5 weeks' time. Currently I'm just extremely scared that I'll be booked back to clear the shit. I don't know if the upcoming counselling session (if there is one) works to get me outta this so at least maybe I can see a faint glimmer of my future here otherwise ...my retiring plans would be brought forward.

But to be fair, I think it's the people that counts. If I have a slightly nicer manager who knows his stuff and bugs lesser and the pure brat is actually someone who doesn't piss people off, maybe ... I won't mind that much. Yes and to be fair again, the shipping shit pales in comparison to the other shit I have gone through before (and didn't get outta alive for that matters).


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Enough of the above.

I attended a friend's wedding on Saturday, my first friend to get hitched since all weddings I attended in the past are relatives or friends of my parents. Well more to come... ;) Seeing my friend looking radiant and blissful in that gorgeous white gown made me wonder when would it be my turn to be up there walking down the aisle with my dad beside me. *shudder* I don't think that's going to happen in a million years' time, meaning never because I'm starting to believe not in this lifetime. I'll be happy with a dog as companion, trust me.

Haha, anyway happy for her.

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Eeks it's only Monday.

edit: Okay so I got a sudden urge to do a revamp here and re-skinned my blog and settled this in 30 minutes, cool. And for the first time, it actually looks decent on firefox too. I hate ie btw...the new version absolutely sucks.

Tmd.

Tmd.

Haven't watched soccer for such a long time but decided to watch my beloved Pool against Manchester United last night and really tmd again, to have it all screwed up by that 92nd minute goal by substitute O'Shea. Liverpool had more chances, shots, corners than that idiotic 10 man Manu but sighhhh...

Bah.

tgif!

I find it a marvel that my laptop can repair itself overnight. Literally.

A few weeks ago, I encountered problems while trying to burn some files. The program would burn halfway then stall and I ended up wasting 2 discs. That wasn't the end...my comp started to hang and when I restarted it, the infamous blue screen greeted me. Usually I would just allow it to do the file check thingy till 100% and everything would be back to normal. But the blue screen got stuck at 0%. I restarted many times but the blue screen won't go away...actually there is a shortcut to this. Just press enter to prevent the file checking and it'll load onto desktop. Which was what I did. Something was wrong obviously as Windows couldn't load normally but I was too lazy (and poor) to bring the lappie down for repair. Then one fine day, I allowed the comp to run during the night (cos I was d/loading some stuff) and it downloaded some update thingy from microsoft, restarted itself and all these happened overnight and voila...no more blue screen after that, windows can load naturally and my burning program is working again! Good thing I didn't bring the lappy for repair...hehe. I must have been using outdated stuff. That probably caused the problems.

Enough of the techie talk...my week was good. As in I can go home on average 630pm everyday, the manager assigned me tasks to do but he never really cared about me after that. I was simply left to my own devices and kinda OTOT...lol...but of course good things have to come to an end. I am left on my own so therefore I'm not sure if I'm doing what he wants...hopefully. My good life is attributed to the fact that the client wasn't free to entertain our field visit. However, the client will be FREE come Tuesday and to my horror, the manager mentioned that he wants to review on Wednesday. I almost had a heart failure and then he told me it was to clear the 2005 outstanding matters. *Blink* I will die if I have to finish the entire 2006 audit in one day considering this is not exactly a small entity. But to follow up on 2005 stuff? Urgh. Oh well anyway...I should be grateful still for this week of rest. Another 23 days more!

wants a glam job

Saw a familiar face when I flipped through March's issue of Cleo. No, no, not the 50 eligible bachelors although I noticed that there was this one guy from my jc. I was looking at the snapshots section of the Cleo team and saw this girl who was from my secondary school and later on, same jc. She was from my senior class in jc and she was my angel when we played the angel-mortal game during orientation. That was how I got to know her and....she's now the SENIOR FEATURES WRITER for Cleo. Well I think that's so cool loh. To bag a job in a fashion magazine. That used to be my dream job....haha. Ever since the longest of time before I entered uni, I wanted to be a journalist or to write for a fashion mag. Despite the tight deadlines for publications, I still believe it's a pretty glam job. At least you are writing for something you actually have a passion and interest in....not like some shit I am writing now. Just write in a way that won't invite more questions from the top.

Sighhhhhhhhh... yah yah don't ask me why what I am doing with my life. It is too late (?). What was I thinking when I was filling up my uni application? Lol. Too bad. Move on...

xin nian kuai le

I've got work to do which I actually planned to get it out of the way during cny eve so I can enjoy my cny proper. But no, I decided I really don't give a damn and that between sleep and turning on the IBM, I took the former and had a good 3 hours plus nap this afternoon. Lovely...and I dreamt I was in Taipei, oh well...

No bitchings in this entry. It's CNY after all so happy CNY yah and enjoy the well deserved break.

Pure brat (pun intended)

The only redeeming thing about my current job is the client. As in the people in the company, not the job itself per say as it is a shitty job by nature. Even the accountant that the pure brat loathes is rather bearable as compared to the pure brat (bred).

To the Pure Brat:

You are of the same rank as me and the basic thing you could show me is courtesy or some form of respect. But you don't. You speak to me in a commanding tone and you keep repeating questions about things I have already asked the client but they are still pending (and I told you that already!). Just once is enough. Thank you. You want me to do things which are impractical and we end up just wasting time. And the list goes on.......Wtf. Who the hell do you think you are? I understand you are stressed and I try to see it from your point of view...I try to be accomodating but you are truly testing my patience. I only started on that entity proper on Monday and you are asking me what I have finished today when that shit entity is not easy to do in the first place. Furthermore I had to leave to meet the partner in the afternoon. This year one assistant thinks you are a very PR person but from the way that you are pissing off the client and pissing your fellow team mate, that's not PR, that's ZERO EQ. Arghhhh I really dread seeing you again tomorrow and Friday after which I am thankful that you'll vanish from my sight till the next Friday.

The job is shitty enough already with a shitty manager too who gets frustrated easily...plus a pure brat to ruffle my feathers. !@#

I am so determined to get out of this job. Even if I can't....I rather work with another team on the same job. The people seemed much nicer and friendlier than this pure brat. Of course not not all pure breds are brats. So far the people I met have been nice. I'm just unlucky to meet one, in my biggest job no less and in the SAME team. Sigh sigh.

Sucky V-day.

the non-existent birthday and v-day

I can foresee that next week will be the saddest week, in February that is cos I have no idea how many sad weeks there are to come. Anyway next week is different due to 2 special consecutive dates one of which is inapplicable to me...but still....why am I meeting the partner on V-day?! Sigh...okay next up, the non-existent b-day which I am very sure I'll be buried in work on that day considering the fact that the 'hot date' with the retiring partner is on the next day. By hook or crook, I will still attempt to wriggle out slightly earlier on Tuesday. I will try my darnest to keep this as low profile as possible as who the hell would give a f*** about the b-day with all the pressing deadlines and shit work. Besides I am a new joinee to the team and I don't wish to appear AA...we are not that close anyway. Okay no one cares and I don't want them to care but can I just leave earlier on Tuesday? :(

So CNY is just round the corner but it seems like centuries away. Sigh I guess I really don't like this job.

offcially broke

I am officially broke from too much clothes-buying and I really dread to see the cc bill this month. In fact, haven't cleared the one from January. :x

But I don't feel as if I have done much cny clothes-buying. The stuff I bought are either working clothes OR clothes that my mom totally forbids me to wear during cny. Not that it's any flashy, bareall stuff...she just thinks they are inappropriate. Hmm. Aiyah cny is just another day...

Time for marathon drama watching.

getting electrocuted

I believe I got electrocuted by my lappy when I lifted the lid. It was this weird tingling sensation and unsure of what it was, I poked my index finger at the latch area again and this time the sensation was much stronger. I withdrew my finger in a hurry (of course)....okay my finger was kinda damp cos fresh out of shower...I'm basically just asking for it.

I think I am obsessed with work cos I dreamt of it for the last 2 nights. Obsessed not as in the I-love-to-work kinda attitude, more like I am swamped with it and I dunno quite how else to handle it partly cos of the back-to-back booking with one tight deadline job wedged in the middle of a big shitty job. What the hell, I'm just looking forward to CNY (if there is one). To be fair, things ain't that bad AS YET..I have encountered worse shit in my short employment history. Okay I'm going to enjoy what's left of my weeknd now. :)

Cheers.

lazy sunday

I slept quite a fair bit over this weekend. Although it was plagued with ridiculous nightmares but I shall not go into that. The reason why I choose to rest is cos I'll be going for my biggest job of the peak starting from next week. Urgh. I foresee no rest after that so might as well....it is good to just lie on the bed and have a good eye shut. Isn't it so? First weekend I don't have to do any work and possibly the last. It was a good 1.5 weeks minus the lousy senior...I say well if every job is like my first peak job, this peak would be good. But then again, good things are by far few...haha so....I'll just hang in there and countdown to May then.

when the going gets tough the tough really goes shopping

I got meself a red purse/wallet yesterday...hehehe..the current one was bursting and didn't have enough slots for cards (not that I have many cards but more of random shit like Topshop/Joop/or any other nonsense that gives discounts or vouchers after n number of purchases, you get my pt). I am not really obsessed with red, it's not bright red, kinda like dark red/maroon kind of feel.

Anyway I have exceeded my expenses, thoroughly burst my budget, if there is one in the first place....and I haven't bought a single piece of CNY clothing yet. I figured I better start hunting for clothes now since I foresee myself peaking/dying in the next few weeks. Ended up adding more clothes to the work wear department. I try my darnest to differentiate between work wear and going-out wear as somehow work wear feels like a uniform haha and I feel sucky wearing the same old thing I wear to work during weekends. Sigh. No nice CNY casual-doesn't-look-like-work-wear clothes leh. The few stores that I always go to are still on Autumn/Winter sale meaning the Spring/Summer 2007 collection is still by far, few and miserable. I guess I'll have to try my luck in the next few weeks' to come and AFTER payday before I make myself bankrupt by making advances. Even if i'm dying...well let's see. The future is unpredictable.

Then you call my name and I know inside that I love you

Probably a line to a song from 7 years back. Can't remember. But it echoes the feelings of a seventeen year old girl back in the year 2000. Revived her online diary from 7 years back and browsed through a few entries. Feeling a little nostalgic and well, a little sad. In any case it is just a teenger's senseless problems and ramblings, nothing compared to the real shit in the real world. But given a choice, I would rather stay in fantasyland.

Gonna drag myself out and do a little shopping. Another line from the online diary, when the going gets tough the tough goes shopping. But the tough needs moolah.

the overdue 2006 entry

Here is the long over-due 2006 entry.

I'm not that lazy nor unmotivated k...I already wrote out the entry in my book diary and am now transferring the paraphrased excerpts here. I penned the entry on the 2nd day of the new year and here goes.

Evidence of how little I wrote in my book diary. 10 pathetic entries for the whole of 2006 and the bulk of it was on my sad work life. Roundup of 2006...I think it was pretty crappy and boring so to speak judging from my 10 boring entries for the year.

I believe the whole of 06 revolves on how much I wanted to get out of the previous firm and move on to other (browner) pastures.

Jan-March 06 was holed up in this big job and slept an average of 3-4 hours per day. The job wasn't difficult but the staying up was. Teared in cab rides home but forged great friendship with the team.

I started to whack the job market as early as April 2006, immediately after the HK trip. Went for my first interview of the year and wasn't shortlisted cos I probably asked the wrong questions. I.e Career progression when clearly there was none.

July 2006. Taiwan trip with joyce. Enjoyed myself despite the sweltering summer heat. Fantastic food+shopping+harrowing experience on Jetstar.

August 2006. Back to the same job that took up my first quarter of the year. Ewwww. Didn't stay as late this time round cos I brought back work to do. Anyway I was already treating it as my farewell job as plans to leave were more or less finalized. However in the same month, I missed a call for interview and blamed it on my extreme bad luck. But another opportunity came knocking and I left my first job in Sept 2006. That was the beginning of my greatest nightmare which shall not be named. And well the rest of the story are documented in past entries so I shall not delve more into them. This is a part of history that I would like to leave buried and forgotten.

A few have told me that if I can survive 1 year++ in first firm, I probably can survive in others. But since I almost died-ed in one, nothing's for sure. Armed with a dented confidence that would take some time to recover, I embark on my 2007.

No, no resolutions. I am lying. Okay does resoluting to go to Seoul in 2007 count?

1st post of 2007

My new year's eve was rather unhappening. Maybe I should have just stayed home and watch the Taipei countdown instead.

In my attempt to join in the crowd at the over-hyped the cannery....okay basically I wanted to check out the kandibar cos I was attracted by the deco and reviews but it was fully reserved. Silly me. Didn't want to sit at the window bar table and ended up at MOS instead. Big, big mistake since the music stinks big time irregardless of what room. Didn't get high, wasn't even artificially high and that was how I spent my 2007 with lousy music minus the fireworks. I should have been outside. Now come to think of it, when I walked past kandibar and heard the music blaring from outside, it seems like the same trancey sort they have in mos yikesss....the clinic was just as sucky.

Then I couldn't get a cab back at 4 plus in the morning despite walking up and down and getting into some NR, dropping off somewhere and still couldn't get a cab. Ended up at an all night Hong Kong style cafeteria to have an early breakfast. Stupid cafe tried to overcharge us by 30 dollars by making us pick the tab of another table's. We may be 3 sleepy auditors but we aren't blind as yet. Hence reached home at 6 plus, dropped dead at 7...woke up at 12 noon and was feeling crappy the whole day. But the afternoon's nap later on cleared things up abit and I was able to get some work done in the evening.

I know I mentioned about some reflective entry in the previous entry but well I'm lazy and I'm not in a very reflective mood at the moment. Maybe some other day since it is already overdue so what the heck.

broke, careless, lousy...

I am so broke. My pro-rated pay ain't in yet although it's not going to be of much use since the bulk of it is going into settling the cc bill. I can't believe I chalked up such a whooping big amount over the past month. I thought I could escape the cut-off date for my very expensive purchase 2 weeks ago but NO, darn...and anyway it is almost the end of the month, end of the year too and there is no sign, absolutely no sign of the PRO-RATED pay in my bank account. I am beginning to wonder if I have given them the wrong account #......what the hell.....I have been working for freeeeeeeeeeee.

Anyway I think I am an extremely careless person having lost that piece of paper that has the pin number to access the office after office hours. ANd Yes, I did not memorize nor scribble nor type/save it down anywhere. I just simply slotted it behind my id pass and when I went to remove the temp pass sticker today, that piece of paper went missing! To think I kept telling myself subconsciously to remove and keep it away properly just in case I lose it and I have to go and LOSE it still. I am such a klutz.

On a different note, it is almost the end of twenty O 6. How scary. Quite a few people are preparing for their reflection/resolution blog entries and I used to do that too. But..but..what if I have nothing to reflect or resolute for next year? Haha. Cos nothing ever comes true and I am living life day by day as it is. Except the growing old part. That's why I am not particularly thrilled about the coming of a new year. And some things never change, sigh. That sounds so pessimistic. Oh well, if I am in a writing mood come tomorrow or Sunday maybe I'll give a summary account of my year.

hohoho

Merry Christmas~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, I'm basically stuck at home procrastinating and touching abit of the work I brought home. How sad it is to work during the holidays. I worked through my CNY this year and now it's ditto for Christmas as well. Wth. The next 4 days of the week are gonna be lonnnnnnnggggg. Anyway I'm determined to spend a white christmas in 2007. Haha, now what does this spell?

Okay I'm going to watch some shit now and continue with the neverending work when the sun rises.

gorgeous loewe dress

It is black. It is simple. Yet I think it is gorgeous. Coupled with red that is.

Some entries ago I was talking about black stockings and red heels for the non-existent DnD. That was because I stole the idea from korean actress, Yoon Eun Hye (of Goong fame) during her recent visit to Taipei for the Asia Pacific Film Awards. That girl's the new fashion darling as she is forever decked out in the latest garb so you know what's in or not. She's inspirational in that sense, ha. Well anyway here is the dress:


From Loewe website


Yoon Eun Hye with red clutch bag and red shoes

Red with black is a powerful combination.

As to how I know it is from Loewe, I saw the dress at Loewe's in Ngee Ann City! Really pretty. In case you can't see it clearly from the pics, it has pretty layers and the top and bottom part of the dress is black leather I think.

I am going to eat grass for the next few months. No, I didn't buy the above mentioned dress (I'm not that mad nor rich) but the shoe buying monster is back. And the shoe buying monster bought something else as well...which contributes to eating grass. I doubt I would have the time to shop anymore soon....so.....yah.

unseen threshold

Faulty laptop battery, indefinite temp pass, charging time woes and buddy-less (seeing that it's peaking). Yay.

I'm not complaining. My current state of mind doesn't allow for that. The above is merely a list of....what-has-gone-wrong (but still acceptable).

This is a totally useless entry but so be it.