3 wishes

Am I supposed to have 3 wishes or what?

Suddenly am at a loss at what to wish for cos wishes never come true.

Hm, yeah I wish no..I just hope for a peaceful year ahead. Am Jinxed enough.

SICK

My immune system is really crap. After barely recovering from a cough+sore throat, I'm down with a cold now. Brilliant. And cold usually comes in a package, complete with body aches, fever and yes, the cough has made its return again.

My health has been spiralling downwards ever since late November. Was down with cold den and was (thankfully) fine and well for most of December before the flu bug hit again just before my Taipei trip. I thought I recovered in time before my trip but the flu bug returned on my 2nd night in Taipei possibly due to the sudden change in temperature. I was basically surviving on the flu panadols in Taipei while having a whooping cough at the same time.

Back home, recovered but I lost my voice after the Jay Chou concert. I didn't think it was anything to do with the concert (despite the screams+cheers but it probably contributed a little) but the chocolate fondue that followed after the concert did me in. So I lost my voice and the bad cough returned. It was a wonder that I managed to communicate with my client still. Went to see the doc and got a variety of medication ranging from antibiotics, lozenges, fever, runny nose tablets, voice+phlegm tablets to cough syrup. The cough faded after a week, I'm sorta getting my voice back and on Saturday (yesterday), I got hit by the flu bug again!!! There you have it, I don't think I'm ever getting well.

Totally moodless for CNY.

What I wish for is just plenty of sleep and rest.

My health stinks and work stinks as well (as always).

masked

Blogger ATE my latest entry! >_<

Although it was just a substance-less, bimbotic post about facial masks BUT STILL...stupid blogger not only ate my latest post but all other un-published posts as well. Well sometimes I get the urge to blog but after typing a few pathetic lines I decided not to..and the posts will just remain in draft form. Those are gone as well. Not that they were particularly important but still bottomline is, Blogger ate my posts! And that is totally unforgivable.

*grumbles*

Then I have to re-blog about the facial masks.

I must have mis-counted the packets of facial masks which I brought back from Korea last May. I counted 26 but the stock count which I did just only, revealed there were 23 packets left. OMG. Probably counted the 2 boxes when there were 8 packets in each box. So 23 roughly translates to about 6 more months of masking if I'm disciplined enough to do it on a weekly basis.

I'm not kidding when I said before that I must have brought back a lifetime supply of facial masks from Korea. Almost.

Currently masking on a lazy Wednesday afternoon. A little indulgence in between shit (peak). It's the simple things that count.

one year two months later

Fate left me breathless in Zara today. Okay fine, it was just a lousy coincidental encounter seeing that Singapore is such a bloody small place. But one year two months later, I caught sight of my dear jc crush again. :p Behaving all schoolgirlish again but he's probably the only one I ever liked to have that kind of effect on me.

I have to dig for that entry okay here it IS. That fateful November in twentyO6. And about two hours ago, he strolled past me in Ngee Ann City Zara and left me gesturing wildly to a friend (due to my inability to speak clearly cos my raspy voice hasn't healed). He was with this girl (I assume is the gf) and this other guy.

So I basically just stood rooted there with my jaw open, hands gesturing to my friend while this other crazy friend actually ran out of the store to take a closer look. LOL.

And CNY clothes shopping was a complete failure.

Shall attempt again tomorrow.

bad january

2008 has been anything but great so far.

Have already fallen ill twice in less than a month. And been feeling demoralised, insulted, dumb...the list goes on. The helpless feeling.

I'm even beginning to think that 2007 was better. Wtf and I'm not even done with January yet. Sigh.

happy new year?

First entry for the new year and yes, it's already the 13th day into 2008.

This is going to be like a totally lousy first entry, ya so I might as well don't blog..I actually prepared a "flashback of 2007" sort of entry but guess I'll put it up another day. Not today, not in the best of mood.

But I would like to believe, it is a blessing in disguise. I needed this to jolt me back to reality and I'm sure I won't lose sleep over it.

blogging from taipei

Sudden drop in temperature, stinky tofu, late nights (insomnia..) just about did me in. I had a mild runny nose the day before I was due to fly and I sorta recovered on my first day here..BUT due to the above, my runny nose is back PLUS a sore throat. Brilliant, great...*sniffing away..*

The stupid panadol for cold relief is not working. :(

But how can I resist all the delicious food snacks here?

I'm never getting well at this rate.

Missed the last train earlier due to my stinky tofu craze and had to take the taxi back to hotel. Bleah.

fairytales do come true, don't they?

Saw this on somebody's blog. Thought it's kinda sweet (?) and meaningful.

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, perfect job, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle and live happily ever after. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust.

♥ But the thing is, it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely, because almost everyone has that smallest bit of faith and hope that one day they would open their eyes and all that they had dreamed of would all come true. At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t really expect it. It’s like one day you realize that the fairy tale is slightly different than your dream. The castle, well it may not be a castle. The prince, may not necessarily be prince charming. And it’s not so important that it’s happily ever after -- just that it’s happy right now. Yes?

See, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. And once in awhile, someone may even take your breath away.

♥♥♥

1/16

So begins my 16 days (just counted) of vacation but no joy whatsoever. WHY? What's WRONG with YOU? Yeah, like what's wrong with me?

1/16. I'm already stoning in front of my less than one month old love...I think I may be bringing my love with me on Thursday. I'm such a slave to it.

Alrite I do know what's bugging me and it's really getting quite stressful. No, not work-related in case you are wondering. It has been freaking 6 month long, abit too long for comfort IMO. Need to get my act together and dispose of this totally, before 2007 comes to a close. Or is that possible? Historically, involuntary disposal doesn't quite work. But I can't just go on like this.

Crazy shit is totally screwing up my hols.

Zzzzz

I have been sitting at Wisma starbucks for the past 3 hours waiting for a friend who's seriously very late and caught in the rain+crowd. If without the lappy as company, I would have just died.

broke, broken

I think I'm destined to have zero savings for these two months and no, it's not because of the xmas season or whatsoever, it is because of my purchases (aka laptop, winter clothings...) and a tiny mishap just happened less than an hour ago which is going to make me another 200 bucks poorer. Dammit. OF ALL TIMES.

I have been collecting bits and pieces of useless information over the last two weeks. Really useless stuff that fall short of what I really want...or do I really want it? Okay maybe I don't. It's cool to be back at square one.

You really shouldn't attempt.

end of year once again

It's December! Like how fast...and xmas is once again round the corner. Not that I celebrate it. A certain day next week will mark the one year that I've been with the firm. Lots of ups and downs, shit, tears, drownings and with more to come. I just need the strength and willpower to last through April and after that we'll see what's in store.

For the longest time ever, I have been bringing the office laptop home without fail everyday. Other than the fact that I have work to clear at home, it is because my 4 year old Fujitsu is well, and truly dead. It feels weird to be computer-less at home and also cos I'm such a slave to it, I had to bring the work laptop home. But sometimes I'm just so sick of it, I don't...and it's actually good in a way as I am forced to go to bed early as a result. Haha. Oh well. Anyway, haven't been bringing laptop home for a week. That feeling sure feels good. But it's only temporary relief before the whole cycle begins again. And anyway, I'm no longer computer-less at home. ;) Have succumbed to my lust and brought back a new baby.

******************

I do not understand why do I need acts of nature to get a conversation started? It's not even considered a conversation in the first place. What's WRONG with me?

:)

Self-induced happiness is still a form of happiness. Even if it's short-lived...haha especially in the face of impending doom.

It's the little things that matter.

update update

It has been a rather tiring week with an average of between 3 to 5 hours worth of rest per night. Partly due to insomnia (been thinking about alot of shit) and my involuntary nightshift...

Ha, next week's gonna be hell and I'm still wearing myself out this week.

I became a receptionist/secretary in the morning. I wanted to ignore the incessant ringings from behind and pretended to busy myself with work but the office was near empty, the ringings were irritating and I happened to be beside a senior manager, oh well, had to answer them. The caller gave a whole string of information to a person who was not around. Asked me for the contact number, no I don't know. Yeah so why don't you just drop him an email and I didn't bother asking for the name of the caller.

But after which, I couldn't resist not passing the message virtually even though there wasn't much of a message to relay, given that I didn't get the name nor bother to take note of the contents clearly. LOL. ;)

Anyway I've been told to justify the hours charged for a stupid job that was done 3 months ago. Okay, it's not just me, the whole team...disgusting. But it wasn't that difficult to account for my 182 hours, given that I was basically doing the whole entity myself.

And facebook is scary lah, after making the horrible realisation that a long-time foe is actually friends with a close pal of mine. Eeeks. Hell, I didn't even know they knew each other! Yikes, now we are connected...ew. Urgh.

schizo entry

I can't get over the psychological barrier, it's tormenting. Well, soon to become a physical cum mental torture if I should allow it to stay.

Anyway, went for supper last night at Geylang and came across three groups of people from E, who were there for supper as well. Ha, well I was with fellow ex-colleagues as well. What a coincidence.

I've got things to do, things to look at (work-related) but I'm not doing anything about them. Just happy to be squandering away what's left of the toil. That's what toil should be. I'm so sick of everything. Time to go hide in bed once more.

But before that, a super aww paragraph from Stardust:

“So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and… What I’m trying to say, Tristan is… I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I’d know it for myself. My heart… It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it’s trying to escape because it doesn’t belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I’d wish for nothing in exchange - no fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.”

bottomless pit

To a friend:

I am sorry I was pretty monosyllabic on msn (if you noticed)
Anyway, I can't share much in your happiness but trust me, I'm happy for you
but currently, I am incapable of expressing anything
I am drowning too much in my own unhappiness
but yeah I won't spoil things for you so I won't bring anything up

***

Do I have the guts to do it?

And this is how we say goodbye.

***

I love Jay's 青花瓷.

extremely gloomy toil

A cloud of gloom is hanging over my head.

I never needed you to help me so much, till now. In fact I always hated you (the way you always make things happen but in the end, they never work out), but now I seriously need your help.

Time is running out.

I might as well get ready a shovel and start digging my grave. Next up, my personal favourite line: Dying is faster.

let's cross over the wall

Stardust was good. Well I went in expecting it to be good anyway, after reading positive reviews in the papers. Yeah, it was such a long time since I last caught a movie, sigh, yeah my life is really quite sad.

Well, love a good fairy tale any day. :)

bad luck as always

I must have taken more photographs in my ex-firm's DnD than the current one. Yeah, just have to remember who to ask the pics from as there were numerous cameras involved. I didn't crash the DnD per say but I was around the area...and I met up with some people, hence the photo-takings.

Anyway, two people remarked pretty much the same things to me in office this week. One went, "Why are you always in office?"

And the answer, "Planning loh."

And the second one saw me today and asked directly, "Why are you always doing planning?"

I nodded sadly and of which he proceeded to bluntly add.

"Then you must have a lot of (team-in-charge) jobs."

Bah, great. Yes you are damn right. And I'm so gonna die.

Anyway, my Samsung charger just died on me. I thought I'm going to be totally contact-less tomorrow since my phone's battery went flat. But thank goodness for the USB cable, now the phone's happily charging from the laptop. However, urgh I'll have to drop by the Samsung service centre (wherever that is) to get the charger replaced. :(

big girls don't cry

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

The path that I'm walking I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'till I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to'
Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
it's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity