broke, careless, lousy...

I am so broke. My pro-rated pay ain't in yet although it's not going to be of much use since the bulk of it is going into settling the cc bill. I can't believe I chalked up such a whooping big amount over the past month. I thought I could escape the cut-off date for my very expensive purchase 2 weeks ago but NO, darn...and anyway it is almost the end of the month, end of the year too and there is no sign, absolutely no sign of the PRO-RATED pay in my bank account. I am beginning to wonder if I have given them the wrong account #......what the hell.....I have been working for freeeeeeeeeeee.

Anyway I think I am an extremely careless person having lost that piece of paper that has the pin number to access the office after office hours. ANd Yes, I did not memorize nor scribble nor type/save it down anywhere. I just simply slotted it behind my id pass and when I went to remove the temp pass sticker today, that piece of paper went missing! To think I kept telling myself subconsciously to remove and keep it away properly just in case I lose it and I have to go and LOSE it still. I am such a klutz.

On a different note, it is almost the end of twenty O 6. How scary. Quite a few people are preparing for their reflection/resolution blog entries and I used to do that too. But..but..what if I have nothing to reflect or resolute for next year? Haha. Cos nothing ever comes true and I am living life day by day as it is. Except the growing old part. That's why I am not particularly thrilled about the coming of a new year. And some things never change, sigh. That sounds so pessimistic. Oh well, if I am in a writing mood come tomorrow or Sunday maybe I'll give a summary account of my year.

hohoho

Merry Christmas~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, I'm basically stuck at home procrastinating and touching abit of the work I brought home. How sad it is to work during the holidays. I worked through my CNY this year and now it's ditto for Christmas as well. Wth. The next 4 days of the week are gonna be lonnnnnnnggggg. Anyway I'm determined to spend a white christmas in 2007. Haha, now what does this spell?

Okay I'm going to watch some shit now and continue with the neverending work when the sun rises.

gorgeous loewe dress

It is black. It is simple. Yet I think it is gorgeous. Coupled with red that is.

Some entries ago I was talking about black stockings and red heels for the non-existent DnD. That was because I stole the idea from korean actress, Yoon Eun Hye (of Goong fame) during her recent visit to Taipei for the Asia Pacific Film Awards. That girl's the new fashion darling as she is forever decked out in the latest garb so you know what's in or not. She's inspirational in that sense, ha. Well anyway here is the dress:


From Loewe website


Yoon Eun Hye with red clutch bag and red shoes

Red with black is a powerful combination.

As to how I know it is from Loewe, I saw the dress at Loewe's in Ngee Ann City! Really pretty. In case you can't see it clearly from the pics, it has pretty layers and the top and bottom part of the dress is black leather I think.

I am going to eat grass for the next few months. No, I didn't buy the above mentioned dress (I'm not that mad nor rich) but the shoe buying monster is back. And the shoe buying monster bought something else as well...which contributes to eating grass. I doubt I would have the time to shop anymore soon....so.....yah.

unseen threshold

Faulty laptop battery, indefinite temp pass, charging time woes and buddy-less (seeing that it's peaking). Yay.

I'm not complaining. My current state of mind doesn't allow for that. The above is merely a list of....what-has-gone-wrong (but still acceptable).

This is a totally useless entry but so be it.

degenerating

I feel like an empty shell. Degenerating away.

At this rate, I might just disintegrate and turn into a pile of dust.

Is feeling like this better? I can't convince myself.

artificially charged

A bloody prank call woke me up at 4 bleeding am this morning. I had barely slept for two hours after tossing and turning, first day jitters always make me an insomniac. Then that prankster rang my place, caused me to jerk awake and I just laid there awake till it was time to get my ass off the bed. Arghhhh so I was artificially charged for the whole day.

*************************************************

I don't know what to expect. In fact I have no expectations at all, I just want to zou yi bu kan yi bu.

Come what may.

*************************************************

Where on earth is my christmassy mood?

glitter lust

Check this out. A diamond studded camera that costs $50,000 and I assume it's in US dollars. I can find fake diamontes and stick them on my camera too. Isn't that the same thing? Haha. Anyway I don't have such free time to doll up my gadgets.

The DnD of the previous night seemed fun from the photos. Noticed a few party crashers. Made me kinda regret not crashing in as well but then again I have no outfit. Lately I have been dreaming of black stockings with killer red heels though. That would make quite a statement. Well, anyway, stop dreaming. No DnDs for me this in 2006.

random thoughts

It must have taken me 20 minutes to log in successfully to blogger. Grrr.

It is rather scary that days can fly by when one is not doing anything. In fact it seems to fly faster. Ironically. Isn't it supposed to be the other way round? To fly when one is slogging? But not when one is doing something one loathes, the days somehow slow to a crawl. So as to savour the act of torturing.

Alright, enough of the nonsense. I am going to miss working my schedule around the TV but then there's always youtube. Just pray it doesn't stream 5 minutes then die. Or bitcomet but that takes ages.

I need a haircut.

I need a bigger bag.

I need a longer break.

And I hate it when people don't understand and still derive pleasure out of it. Okay maybe pleasure is not the right word. Somehow I don't see why you have the right to get mad when you don't even know the reasons. Or allow me to explain. Damn, I don't even feel I owe you an explanation. Fine, so be it.

red is IN

I like fiery red shoes lately and I got myself a pair of red heels today. Goody cept it doesn't seem very sensible to wear red to work. Or will it become purely ornamental and start gathering dust at home cos I would rather wear slippers/birks for shopping? My first love was actually this pair of maroon patent shoes from Aldo but alas I couldn't bring myself to bring them home due to the hefty $129 pricetag. And just when I can obtain a miserable 10% discount, they no longer had my size. Sigh. What does this mean? To wait or not to wait....

Anyway I saw Chen Hanwei at paragon today. I recognized his voice first before I saw the person. Out of the corner of my eye, this lanky dude was saying bye to this other lady (with a kids trolley I think) and I thought the voice sounded familiar. Then I did a double take for a closer look. And yeah it was the man himself, looks exactly the same as the just-concluded 9pm show (lang man man wu). I think he knew I was looking (me being kaypo). He seems pretty nice though to specially gesture and allow this family with kids to enter the lift first before he did.

Wahahaha this is really bad but I am lusting for bags again. Uh oh...oh..no....

bad girl

The stupid blogger keeps prompting me to upgrade but it is not helping me on it. Sure I have a gmail account but what is the next step? I see no button to click to advance to the next stage of upgrading and pressing 'Enter' on the keyboard doesn't help either. So to hell with it, I don't need to be upgraded. I am perfectly fine with adding entries the way it was in the past.

Anyway I have been a bad, bad girl last week and will continue to be bad (hopefully) for one last time come Monday. I am suffering the consequences for being bad in terms of monetary outflows. Sigh.

It will soon be over, yah.

enduree

I am going to have to master the art of endurance for the next five days. But I am really quite pessimistic, demoralized and so forth possibly due to the hard knock to my confidence a few weeks ago.

I doubt I can finish my stuff but no way am I going to stay late and put in the extra hours (when they are no longer claimable).

My stay is too brief to show any form of goodwill.

old skeletons in the closet

I dug out a story I posted online 3 years ago. The website had deactivated my account and well I re-activated it. And my story was still there, all twelve chapters. It was an unfinished business as in the story was never completed. I enjoyed writing short stories during my secondary school days. Couldn't really indulge in this in junior college due to the heavier workload but this particular unfinished tale was done in year 2003 when I was in uni already.....because I wanted to archive certain events that happened in real life into the story, as a form of remembrance. I can't remember why I never got around to finish it but probably cos no time lah.

Skimming through it now brings back a flood of memories. Things I haven't exactly forgotten but have put it behind me.

Now I am truly feeling nostalgic.

when fever strikes

Dang.

I came down with some viral infection in the wee hours of this morning, thinking it was nothing I went down to client's place and soon I was experiencing sharp pains in my tummy and my legs were all wobbly and stuff. Silly client had a four storey building without lifts and it was quite a torture climbing up and down. My head was getting increasingly heavy and body getting weaker by the minute, I decided to take half a day of mc. I suppose the senior won't be too pleased especially since the doc gave me another day off cos......I didn't even know I was running a 38.3 degrees fever. Doc asked if I had fever, I said no. He didn't believe and stuck the thermometer tingy in my ear and exclaimed at the high reading. Okay fine..I was all gooey but didn't know I was burning inside.

Sigh just wish for the next 2 weeks to fly past. And why is it that after one week of being unassigned, I had to fall sick on the second day of work. It is a case of immune system not knowing how to react.

I haven't had fever since the longest of time. Or maybe I never realised it.

bahhh

I saw my JC crush today, him being my first serious crush...and sometimes I would wonder to myself if I'll ever see him again. As luck would have it (after so many years), I think he works in the office tower beside my current workplace (which is the second tower with the same name). I was on job today and decided to go earlier. As I was dragging my feet to work, I saw this familiar figure wearing checked pink shirt, no-nonsense pants and a pair of well polished shoes in front of me. He would have blended into the corporate crowd if not for that sorta dusty black eastpak he had slung over one shoulder and THAT characteristic way he walks. Dammit...I don't know how to describe...I badly wanted to overtake him and take a closer look. Ended up almost following him into the (wrong) lobby. It would have been damn embarassing if I were to be stopped by the security (for not having the right ID pass), ha.

Unfortunately I am leaving the second tower...but at least now I have a very good idea which company he could be working for. Of course there are zillions of tenants in that buildings but I am having a very good guess now. It is just too bad I'm leavingggg......It is good to see him though. :)

self-denial

Was in self-denying mode for the past four days. I would call it the extended weekend where I did absolutely nothing but engaged in brainless whackings.

So my long weekend is over and gee, it's Monday again. I have no idea what's in store....to continue to self-deny or to make that one-time decision that will spell a shock move and change alot of things dramatically.

In a way, I got what I wanted.

square one

Fate is really cruel.

After 3 months, I am back to square one? Back to where I originally wanted things to be. Take note of the past tense because I no longer feel like wanting it this way anymore. Perhaps if things have gone my way 3 months ago.....okay I don't know how to continue with this statement as I hate what-if scenarios now. Cos nothing ever turns out right. I feel jinxed.

It is ridiculous.

double shit

Shit job + Shit senior = Double Shit

Well I wasn't directly under her as in I wasn't in her team. Then my senior released me to assist her as there was not much to be done for my entity and my 2 seniors were clearing high level points. Turns out to be a complete nightmare. I expected it....seeing how the shit senior drove a year one assistant to tears. And she can happily admit that she knows people don't enjoy working under her. Argh, whatever it is, nothing pleases the shit senior. Her expectations are sky high and her sarcasm drips all over the place. Demanding, unreasonable, vague instructions....perfect combi for disaster to strike. Which happened on my last day on the job and just when I was about to pack my stuff and leave....the shit senior turned vile on me. Now I just want to forget the whole incident, forget her condescending look......

Finally I can be back to civilization tomorrow.

the brightest vs the less abled

I don't usually get worked up over newspaper reports and neither do I feel incensed to the point of blogging about it and possibly get into trouble.

But with all due respect, I am not going to list exactly which report I am referring to. But my basic points are, I am not disagreeing on the part about differentiating pay packages for the academically inclined (as with the case in public sectors). However, pay increments subsequently should still be based on performance as grades can be the starting point but should not determine anything thereafter. What I am ruffled with is the statement '..where the brightest ______ work in other sectors and are, in turn, ______ by their less able counterparts." I was like HELLO, not getting first class honours doesn't deem the person any less able. Okay there is a word 'may' before this statement but it still doesn't make things sound better if you know what I mean.

Talent drain in this particular industry may not only be attributed to the starting pay question. There are things to look into besides that (which I am not going to go into)....anyway there are quite a handful of first class hons peeps slogging away in this particular profession (despite the one pay fits all thingy) and they are doing fine (well some are). And my friend just made a very good point and reversed the above statement, " the brightest ______ may not always be the brightest and at times, their mess has to be sorted out by their less able counterparts." Which I totally agree.

finality

It will take a major asteroid crash to change my mind. Yes, probably the size of the same one thought to have wiped out the dinosaurs 65 million years ago and left a 180 kilometre crater in the Yucatan peninsula in Mexico.

Sorry but no details this time round.

I just need an outlet to fume.

It is over the slightest of things that became mission impossible and made me wanna throw in the towel. And I had enough of everything. My limit has been reached and I am taking this no more.

Wanted to whine in the book diary about this but I'm simply too lazy to pick up a pen.

i hate extraordinary surprises

Urgh. Just one more day to the weekend and client has to pass this extraordinary adjustment that would require more work. #$@

I have to rush to blockkkk my schedule before new jobs start popping up. This 2 week thing has already taken its toil and there are 2 weeks more to go!

dammit

My time sheet/expense claims just got REJECTED. For god knows what reason for I only saw the rejection via email and I obviously have no time to go back office to find out what's wrong. If I can't claim those miserable expenses in exchange for all my stress/emotional torture, I am going to faint.

This is so pissing for my mood has turned for the better in the evening for it to be down in the doldrums again.

on autopilot once more

I have been in a trance-like state for most part of last week and of course, Monday as well. It was no honeymoon as after the first week of induction/training, I was thrown full scale into the firm's biggest job which I rather not do, thank you. It would be nice to try it out first on an at least moderate sized job....just to get the feel of things. Unfortunately I have no such luxury and I don't think there is any learning curve here. It is either you know or you don't and just feel dumb. I feel as if I am on auto-pilot once more...this same feeling I had about a couple of months ago when I was doing that six month thingy in the previous firm. Going on auto-pilot blocks out the stress temporarily but the shock is acute when things screw up. Like they always do while I frantically dug through my CYAs to provide an answer to the senior.

I like to think that I am a liability to the team being new and all and having not done an entity of this size before. The grass is not always greener on the other side and I never felt that it'll be any greener here. The basic welfare is there alrite with the generous claimings and stuff but the stress and feeling of inept, I guess this happens everywhere as it is job specific. Am I lucky or just plain unlucky? Impressive portfolio? Nah..not when one is stuck on the same shit for the whole year.

hazy

What I hope for....a nice heavy downpour that would wash the stench and haze away. A nice heavy downpour that would keep me snug and warm in bed till late Sunday morning. However, despite the less than pleasing reality, what with the haze and humidity and it doesn't look like it is going to pour, I am still holding on to my precious weekend moments for I am a wuss and I am not looking forward to Monday. Sigh.

e-based learning is sucky

I never knew doing e-based learning could be such a chore. For it used to be a leisure pastime when one is unassigned. Now I am rushing to complete 8 (total: 10) different e-based quizzes with questions that are reshuffled and new ones popped up whenever a 2nd/3rd/4th and so forth attempt is initiated. So it is pointless to try to obtain model answers nor try to seek assistance from fellow colleague as no one knows which answers are right unless one aced it and seen most of the variations.

Anyway I am proud to announce. After much struggling and using up most of my personal time I have cleared all six modules of an irritating core material and am now left with two irritating little quizzes that I shall get it done and over with tomorrow so that I can go meet up with my beloved ex-colleagues. I realise how much I miss them! In fact I even miss my previous firm...bah! I can't believe these words are coming out of my mouth.

I wonder why I took back my laptop today when I ain't even got the energy now to attempt anything inside.

Rounding up

A glimpse into some of things that happened during the last two weeks.



Farewell dinner at japanese restaurant.



Official last (half) day in office.



One week later, I decided to pay a visit to my college at its new campus.



The canteen. Somehow it reminds me of NTU's canteen B.



The academic blocks look secondary school-ish. It now goes by alphabets.



The tennis courts on the third level.



On the other side of the river is the secondary school.



Last but not least, two of my lovely literature teachers.

So there it is, revisiting two closed chapters of my life. I don't usually do this, in fact never, about posting pictures up on the blog. Due to a horrific experience some years ago (and I never want to bring it up ever again), I ditched blogging for a while and even when I resumed, I choose to be fiercely private. As it is, very few people knew about this blog and I would like to maintain it this way so I can be open with my thoughts. Of course I have no control over the flow of internet traffic but I hate to abandon writing just cos of this. Haa..well partly due to the electronic age, I have increasingly grown lazy about updating in my book diary.

And dammit, the month of September is truly over.

Broke like shit

I just had a $30 per pax Chinese dinner today. We thought it would divide out nicely to around $25 per person but it turned out to be $30!!! That is very material to me considering my still unemployed status. I think I have to ban myself from dining at restaurants and shopping for the next one month. Not that I shopped alot actually in fact did I even shop at all? The money mostly goes on food I guess. Argh. And I had a $24 dinner cum dessert yesterday. This is very bad.

Was trying to get into maplestory for whole of yesterday because the server was bloody down. It was revived today but I had already stupidly deleted the program because I thought my game client was outdated. And it is taking mighty long to retrieve the stupid client! Arghhhhh.....anyway whacking mushrooms and monsters keep me at home and save me money.

My days of freedom are coming to an end. Sigh. Goodbye life, hello reality.

Singapore Idol - Hady

One would have thought somebody scored a goal in a soccer match when my block population gave a victorious roar. However it turned out to be the crowning of Singapore Idol - Hady Mirza. I was in the shower actually. That shows how much I bothered about the results although I did have a secret desire to see Jonathan Leong win instead. That aside, Hady does have the better vocals and well, arguably looks. I said arguably cos my friends were indeed arguing about this last weekend. Lol.

Congratulations though.

Itchy throat and what-not

I have been nursing an itchy throat since this morning. Now this is no good. Not a good time to fall sick on my last week of liberation.

Anyway I have been procrastinating the whole day and only got down to preparing standard answers for the standard interview questions tomorrow. Well they will have to ask those usual few questions and the unexpected ones I will just have to smoke my way through. I didn't even prepare for the last, recent interview. Just read through some samples and fell asleep with my notes. Hee. But since I am slacking away now and have the time, I shall try to be impressive tomorrow. Minus the itchy throat. Eeeks.

Who knows...I might opt for work-life balance over something else.

Life as a slacker

My first week of unemployment is a slow blurry mess of unimportant stuff but at least I believe I would be doing something meaningful tomorrow and which is to visit my alma mater - my junior college! The place where most of my memories strangely are despite spending 4 years in secondary and 3 years in university and only 2 years in JC. Things like my first serious crush (whom I still fondly remember), my favourite tutors, my favourite subject (History) and where I always seemed to have the time to rush down to Orchard for movies and shopping after classes. Yeah you know the good old days. Unfortunately the campus has shifted and I will be making my way with another friend to the other part of Singapore tomorrow. But what the heck, this kinda of stuff one can only do when one has the time. :)

Okay so what happened in this week.

Monday - I wanted to go the the hair salon but I slacked and slept my day away.

Tuesday - Finally dragged my ass down to the salon and sat for three hours while minimal things were done to my hair.

Wednesday - Went Orchard (again! been there for like 5-6 times already consectively!) and it was a total lacklustre attitude as we browsed shops and yawned like mad. Is it time to hit Suntec and Marina now tha the IMF is officially over?

Thursday (today) - Went for first round of an interview. Ya ya...I know I already got and accepted an offer but this doesn't mean my options are closed right? Besides I am so bored and going for an interview means there is something to occupy my time and it's for the experience. Who knows this might be a better alternative? :) I am scared of retribution too having rejected an interview with a well-known MNC recently.....yeah since now I have the time, there is no harm really in attending.

Friday - Return-to-seek-my-roots day! It is rather disturbing that my tutor isn't replying to my emails. It will be so sad not to see her tomorrow!

The weekends as of now are unplanned for. Three days are taken up next week with meet-ups and the 2nd round interview. Then it will ALL BE OVER! Damn. Life as a slacker still has its perks although it has no monetary value.

Seoul 2007

All the korea tour packages are fully booked! Argh. Well almost all. Of all the agencies that we scouted yesterday, only two had groups available on certain days next week but the two are 6 day packages which means no Jeju. Korea without Jeju just seems incomplete especially for a first-time visitor. What to do? We were indeed last minute and korean packages are so bloody hot. They had vacancies for countries like Australia, Japan but NOT Korea. And all other places we aren't particularly interested in. I have been to Hong Kong and Taiwan this year so these two convenient nearby spots are out too.

So this is it. No Seoul 2006 but plans for Seoul 2007 is definitely underway. It is good too. I save money.....considering that I am unemployed now.

I will just slack myself to death for the next two weeks.

sinful thoughts

I am extremely tempted to go somewhere next week. How sinful. Especially after blowing quite a material sum on a tote recently, a cellphone in the previous month and not to mention the taipei trip two months ago. At this rate, I am going to have to declare bankruptcy very soon haha. Yeah since I am now like twelve hours to unemployment. Hooray.

My mind is transfixed on this only place that I swear I have to visit before any other location comes into the picture. Yes but the $$$ issue, sigh. Should I just lock myself up for the next two weeks or pack myself off to Genting just cos I can pretend I am in some temperate country?

Had a hearty Japanese dinner with soon-to-be ex-colleagues earlier. Was quite worth it as the bill was split amongst some 11 over people and there was quite a fair bit of sashimi. Yummy. Crazy photo-taking followed after with much laughter. Unfortunately the group was incomplete due to some people not being able to make it. Well guess I have to try to grab them during lunch tomorrow for more photo session!

Gonna turn in now. So sleepy...my battery needs to be replaced.

all part of the game

To satisfy my insatiable thirst, I did something today that I thought I would never do. Or come to think of it, should I have done it earlier? Would it have make a difference?

The response I got was quite expected but at least finally, I got a reply. That beats sitting around and wallowing in self-pity. Some things are just meant to be but I am glad I did it today.

Rewind to November 2005. If I had done it then, things might be very, very different today. However I would have missed out on alot of things too like the great friends I made throughout my brief one year plus. So yeah you win some, you lose some although I am more towards the losing end. Haha.

So it's Friday tomorrow! Woohoo....

can't let go

Despite everything, I am still very sore about it. My friend remarked that if she were me she would have just go bang into the wall and die. Not very worth it but I guess it is just a very human thing to feel SORE about it. Argh. I need to move on....I need to get over it....I need to give myself two tight slaps.

What would you do if you won the big Sweep?

This place reeks of pessimism and well it stinks of depression too. To brighten things up a little (since I have tendered blah...and the world seems sunnier and warmer), let's do a stomp thing too. Courtesy from of course stomp although I am not a star blogger and will never be but anyway just a convenient topic lifted to discuss. So here goes..What would you do if you won the big Sweep? Think $2 mil.

Firstly, $2 mil can be gone in the blink of an eye if I were to purchase, let's say, a house. I am not really up to date with property prices but I am very sure $2 mil can be splurged easily on properties. But I am not interested in getting a house cos I am perfectly happy in my sty and buying properties for investment aside...what will I do? Like what I always wanted, if I suddenly get a windfall, I'll pack myself off to Europe for a month. After which the next destination would be Seoul....probably will spend a fortnight there. That means I'll probably be gone for about 1.5 months.

Having returned home happy and contented and still left with quite a fair bit of moolah, I will pay off my university fees, give my parents a healthy amount for them to save, invest whatsoever, some to charity and the remaining...ta daaaah will go into my retirement plan. As in part of the retirement plan. Which is the farming plan. :) Always wanted to be a farmer ever since I saw plots of land for sale at Queensland, Australia when I was there 4 years ago. Heard land ain't that expensive in Ozzieland and if I still have enough cash, I'll buy myself a piece of land! Currently I feel like cultivating a vineyard but in any case, the land first. Hopefully in time to come, I will be able to build a farm house as well and grow my grapes and rear my dogs. Ha how heavenly.....away from the disgusting city life. I am still pretty much a city girl but somehow the thought of a laid back farm life, it is just too enticing. I am just lazy in that sense too although I probably need hard work with the cultivation of the crops. Ha. BUT it is a different sort of effort yah as I will be working with nature instead of killing my brain cells. Sigh how I long for that.

After all that crap above, it is time to NOT wake up and go to bed as my head is really feeling gooey right now. So that's all for now. Goodnight. :)

Moving on

Last week was, well, quite interesting as where I last left off. For the first time, there is hope. I have choices now. However time is not really on my side as I have to decide soon and it is for the better or worse.

If luck hasn't spurn me in early August, I guess I could have been at a slightly better place already. However as luck would not have me, I have to seek alternatives.

Well I just want a place that I can breathe and work in, get my experience and move on.

So that is about it, more or less decided and shall I say, prepared to face the music come Monday. Sigh.

shortchanged

I feel so shortchanged.

My efforts don't get recognised is one thing. Screwing up the B and giving me less than what I officially deserve (as stated in black and white) is even more fucked up.

I believe I was behaving like a bitch towards my senior for the whole of last week over the slightest things. Firstly I was pms-y, secondly I disagree with some of the things that I had to do, on the whole I was just extremely touche. I felt apologetic but what the heck, whatever efforts I put in won't be appreciated in the end anyway. Nothing matters anymore.

Next week would be an interesting week.

28th August 2006

The truth is, I am more interested in leaving than getting a transfer which is unlike the others. Hence people who wishes to get a transfer but fear the possibility of being rejected aren't rejecting the idea of staying on in the department. But of course that is totally not an option for me as I am more or less set on leave, with or without a job. It is true that things aren't as rosy over in the other departments but certain things like basic welfare, they still somewhat have (doesn't sound convincing but should be better).

I am even excited about leaving. Oh god..the thought of it is too glorious. The pastures ahead are unknown but honestly anything now beats rotting to death in this place I currently call my workplace.

So here I am casting my net wide and abit blindly, hoping for some sort of indication/light (please don't let it be be the headlights of an incoming train) whatsoever....let next week be the last week that I'll ever be depressed in that place.

8 days more.

Oppressed..i hate my life

Am I supposed to feel guilty that the newly promoted senior is now slogging away in office on National Day? Well, I am doing work at home too and I don't really give a damn especially since I am in a throw letter mood every, single day. In fact the two letters are tucked nicely in my laptop bag, waiting for their grand appearance.

I feel so oppressed. Although I know I sorta have the upperhand, be it that I can throw letter anytime and heck the job, but the problem is I am given so very little time to complete the shit and worse still, can't charge more than what I'm allocated. Fuck it....and what to do if the client is on mc till Friday? Will the silly manager take this into account? Throwing the letter can solve this issue. After that I won't be obliged to. Except I will be unemployed really soon. Yay.

Sigh...with the NDP blaring away in the background...and I'm so down in the doldrums.

Once upon a time, there was hope.

Web fun: Which city do you belong in?

You Belong in Paris

Stylish and a little sassy, you were meant for Paris. The art, the fashion, the wine, the men! Whether you're enjoying the cafe life or a beautiful park... You'll love living in the most chic place on earth.

What City Do You Belong In?

Bam!

Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel could be the headlights of an oncoming train.

no light at the end of the tunnel

The cat is officially out of the bag as the intention to either leave or transfer was made known to one of the management. She was actually pretty nice about it but hinted about the consequences. What the heck, my mind is made up and I can't wait to leave except I have just kicked myself in the foot and possibly sabotaged my one and only chance. Sigh. It is now or never.....never mind the stinky job that might kill me in the next three weeks. The thought of leaving will motivate me on.

I really honestly can't believe how incredibly bad my luck can get. Can't things just change for the better? Can't I seek solace in something other than the fact that I am going to be unemployed damn soon? What a way to comfort myself....

There is no light at the end of the tunnel.

Jinxed

Earlier ie showed my blog as a flurry of mess. I was beginning to wonder what else can go wrong....can't believe a sim card can cost me my future.

I am jinxed, honestly. Sigh.

I shall just continue to be dazed.

what 3G?

My first 3G experience was anything but 3G. It's not even 2G....it's nothing... when I can't even make calls. My reception bar is nil. I spent last night and most of today trying to talk things out with the singtel people, only with them insisting that my connection has been set up and that I haven't logged in. I followed all their instructions, what with taking my sim card out numerous times, charging my phone to the brim and they even came up with silly suggestions that maybe my area is causing the phone to have no reception. What rubbish leh....

And how could they deactivate my 2G sim when the 3G wasn't even ready? So the final conclusion is that my new sim card is faulty and they have replaced a new one and it needs another freaking one more day before I can see IF it works. I have lost faith....I hope no one important calls me...this is so fucked up.

This just shows how bloody dependent I am on my phone. Am now using my dad's number and don't think I'm dao if I don't reply any messages. Cos I can't see any.

我們的紀念日

我的心忽然又活了

總在見到你的那一刻

原來我也有過這樣的激動

只是在習慣自我保護後　忘了... 想聊的故事太長了

反而就都沉默的笑著 金色陽光灑在你雙手上頭

看起來好暖讓我想緊緊握著


這是我們的紀念日　紀念我們開始對自己誠實 願意為深愛的人　

放棄驕傲　說少了你生活淡的沒有味道 這是美麗的紀念日　

紀念我們能重新認識一次 有些事要流過淚才看的到　

不求完美愛的更遠　要過的更好



我用寂寞來懲罰我　看著你走過　

要什麼當時不說 此刻能有你傾聽我　

心情的轉折　 那是種告解以後　讓人想哭的快樂

ridiculously expensive wishlist

As of now, I have two items on my wish list and together they cost close to $2k. Extremely material for a poor soul like me.

And well they are just wants, not needs and I can do without item A for a long time to come....item B I can do without too but I would like to have it asap for some practical reasons.

So that leaves item B! :)

I'll work towards it.

Sick at home

Had a really bad cough for the whole of last week and I thought I recovered by the beginning of this week cos the cough kind of subsided...but the first 3 days of undue stress did its toil on me and now I landed myself with the full package - flu+cough. And it was totally unnecessary but of course I can't predict the future else I won't have tried to work myself to death to meet with the unrealistic deadline. On Thursday morning, the client decided they couldn't deliver (and neither could we when we were the ones being pushed at the beginning) and they called off the interim 6 months audit...when I was already half-way drowning in my sections. Brilliant isn't it. So we packed up our stuff, left the client's place (the only good thing was that the place was just a freaking 5 min ride from my home) and went back office. Knew I would be arrowed once more and I was already too sick then, I told the AO I'm gonna take mc. For half of yesterday and today.

So here I am at home with my still-runny nose and a really bad throat. Watched 'Click' in the afternoon and it was just another typical feel-good family-man-has-it-all-but-decided-to-squander-his-life-away-with-a-powerful-remote control-that-controls-his-life-instead-of-the-other-way-round. Then he regrets but it still ends nicely cos right at the beginning, there was already a hint that this show ain't gonna end tragically. But boy would I love to have that remote. Ha it would be quite nice to mute my managers altogether.

Kill me already

I have been coughing non-stop. Especially in the early morning and nightfall and I am still drinking tea and eating spicy food. How's that gonna help? It was a sore throat that evolved into a whooping cough. I didn't see a doc though...the temptation to get an mc was extremely enticing. But I gotta save my mcs for rainy days. Sigh. So when I'm actually sick, I will live with it and drag myself to work.

This week ain't half as bad cos it was all brainless chores. Next week onwards I'll be complete dead meat. I'll know it once I'm at the client's place. But the prelude is hereby preparing me for the very worst. My first job as a second year assistant. Argh. Greater responsibilities with sections I have never done before. And not sure if there will be a nice soul to guide me should the need arise or I'll just end up screwing up the job. Lovely isn't it. Think inventory and deferred taxes. I was nodding off during trainings so kill me.

I can't believe that it was only last week that I was having fun in Taipei. It seemed eons ago.

Dead Man's Chest

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest has a rather unsatisfying ending. Never mind that I badly needed to go the loo plus enduring a cough that won't go away. However it was a good thing that channel five showed Pirates 1 as yours truly didn't catch it when it was in the theatres else I would have been just a little lost. As was my friend who missed Pirates 1 too. Johnny Depp was a joy to watch especially when he was uttering gibberish to a bunch of cannibals and fluttering those painted eyes of his. And of course the fruit fiasco where papayas, watermelons and what not were flung all over the place from what looked like a kebab stick with Depp stuck in the middle. Orlando was a doll as usual but Depp stole the limelight naturally cos he was simply too hilarious. And Keira Knightley got to smooch the two leads in this sequel. Lucky girl indeed


And I saw Spidey 3 trailer!!! I'm so happy since Superman was disappointing. I think I'll just end up comparing all such comic-related movies to spidey since I personally enjoy Spiderman alot and the others seemed to pale in comparison aka boring.

On the whole I enjoyed the movie although I found it a little too long, perhaps due to my uncomfortable state and also that ending (why?????). Do stay till the credits roll finish...and when is Pirates 3 coming?

Note: The middle portion are potential spoilers that might hurt your eyes as with the colour of the font.

arrowfied

I don't know why I kena so many arrows this week, okay in fact it started from last week when I was recalled back to work from my negative toil (which I rather work than take). I was pushed into a job that was half-done with alot of outstanding points. Furthermore I was the third person to take over the job and needless to say, I was totally lost on the first day, trying to grasp what the other people were doing before me and it didn't help that the senior was clueless about what her other assistants have done. Brilliant isn't it. This is all too familiar. I was doing it half-heartedly not knowing that I would kena direct review by the manager. Brilliant again for she raised her voice at me even though it was no fault of mine. It was only when I reasoned with her that she lowered her volume. Argh.

Midweek I pulled out of the job and thought I could breathe but NO, I kena some admin shit which was to update the soft copies of a dozen companies and also to zap the what-nots in the files. Might as well zap the whole file. It didn't kill my brain cells but it was very tedious. And very straining on my poor eyes. Thank goodness for the intern. I was quite optimistic and thought that we could finish all FY02-05 (three bleeding years' worth of audit) stuff by this week but turned out we couldn't. But it was thankful that the senior didn't insist else I foresee myself not going home tonight.

I'm so very tired. Perhaps I should have just taken mc on Thursday and give myself some well-deserved rest before I fly in some twelve hours' time. Gotta go try to make sure that all my stuff are in the luggage and dammit...I forgot to buy saline. Drats!

realism

I had an out of sort dream last night. It was all jumbled up with pieces of reality that I just had to blog about it. In fact it was a bad dream....

I dreamt I was at JJ's concert (which I will be going come Saturday) with my bag which had a spoilt zip (yes my handbag's zip is indeed spoilt). And during the concert in its dark setting, someone pinched my wallet, phone and this envelope which contained my Taipei air tickets (they are safely tucked in my drawer). When I realised this in my dream, I was so damn miserable and seemingly lost all interest in JJ who was prancing about on the stage very near to me. One day went by and I found my wallet emptied of cash and cards and dumped at my doorstep without the phone nor the air tix.

Stupid dream indeed. I guess I'm just stressed due to work, being the third person to clear the shit of two others who did it before me and not knowing where the heck the figures came from. In fact I did the whole job almost half-heartedly too...the drive just ain't there anymore.

recalled

I wrote a very pessimistic post yesterday and saved it as draft. Well I think I am not publishing that post...

Anyway, absolutely brilliant, I received a text message from the manager earlier asking (Note: Managers don't ask, you obey so basically that is a just a nicer way of getting things across) me if I could go back to help out with this job for the rest of this week. When I am supposed to be on NEGATIVE toil this week so Hooray, I don't have to subject myself to any more shit from this place. But there is still a very high chance of making me go on leave on the last week of June. Urgh.

rest

After almost religiously catching one match per day for the past few days, I'm not catching any matches tonight. Cos favourite few teams are not playing till the next match which is on Sunday 12 midnight - Italy vs USA. The last match that the Azzurri played...it was too late at 3am but anyway I'll be able to watch all (actually not all but selectively) the 3am matches next week. Why? Because I'm made to go on leave again...brrrrrrrrreeeeeegh. Stupid company and its even stupidier policies. I don't need to go more into this.

People are roaring around my neighbourhood. Must be a goal..ha.

Currently msn-ing with my CLIENT, oh my....she is super curious about my work life which is just about the last thing I wanna elaborate on a friday night. But it's better than she talking about work but I'm sure that's the last thing she wanna discuss too..Ha. It's AFTER office hours and normal commercial firms people do have a life. Unlike us. And also I have already pulled out of this particular job.

Another roar. Another goal?

Let's check the scoreline. As of now, Netherlands 2 Ivory Coast 0.

No wonder.

One can just hear the number of roars to know the number of goals.

Time for my beauty rest once again, goodnight.

England 2 Trini 0 (sweet relief)

I was starting to lose interest in the England vs Trinidad & Tobago match due to the frustrating nil-nil first half and a goaless second half still right up to the eightieth minute. Till Crouch finally struck in the 84th minute and Stevie wrapping up the match nicely with a late 91st minute goal. Both goals from Liverpool players. *beams*

Time for bed and I'm still slightly miffed over what happened in office today but no time for that now, sleep is more important.

geek talk

I am not done with this template but that is the best I can customize for now because I'm sleepy...I'm tired and I don't want to do anymore.

It is still pretty screwed up in the sense that my encoding (I don't know about yours) have to be repeatedly set to Unicode (UTF-8) in internet explorer in order not to have funny characters appear out of the blue in between my postings. And try not to view this in firefox cos it just plain sucks. The layout goes haywire. But at least my humble little blog looks more pleasing to the eye now and perhaps make me more motivated to blog regularly. Ha.

Spain 4 Ukraine 0. Yay. Although I missed the first 2 goals but was compensated with the next two. hee. :D

And yay again for both pairs of birks that I ordered have finally arrived..from Germany! I was beginning to suspect that the world cup has something to do with the delay shipment. Gonna collect them within these few days. WHee.

tae han min guk

大韓民國 ~

pronounced as tae han min guk in korean

The chant they led during World Cup 2002.

And once more 大韓民國 ~ :)

I actually went to google earlier about my lid twitching problem and the web results show that eye twitching is often caused by fatigue, stress and caffeine.

Erm okay, fair enough...I guess I'm usually prone to the above.

stop twitching

I'm not trying to be superstitious but lately whenever any side of my eyelid twitches, something goes wrong. The chinese have a saying about 'zhuo xiong you ji' meaning it is bad when the left lid twitches and it is supposed to be good when the right twitches. On the last two occasions that my left lid twitched, I received some shit news at my workplace. And on the sole one occasion that the right lid twitched, I punctured my palm with a puncher, in fact the two punch marks are still visible today.

And today it's the right lid!!! Wonder what self-inflict hazard's gonna befall me today or anything negative at all.....once again I'm not trying to be superstitious but I'm becoming wary cos of the above very unfortunate coincidences. And dammit it's still twitching!!!!!!

Regarding the Japan vs Australia match yesterday, have to give credit to Japan for their first half performance (despite the fluke goal). They maintained their possession well and did some beautiful passes and good defending. And for the other two matches, I only saw the first Czech goal and the Italian match was too late for me. Still debating if I should watch the S.Korea vs Togo match later (it's at a friendly hour) and 3am Brazil, arghhhhh.

soccer blues

I have decided that it's not worth my while to subscribe to the worldcup channels seeing that I can only watch perhaps 6-10 out of the 64 matches, after discounting the matches I don't wish to watch, the matches that are waay too late for me to watch, the matches that my favoured teams might not advance into....hmm there isn't really alot left. Furthermore I have the option of watching the matches streamed 'live' via the internet. Not that clear but pretty stable after experiencing the England vs Paraguay match.

Yeah, looking forward to full-fledged premiership action in August.

mid-week update

As at today, I'm definitely not plotted on the Tianjin job and of which I wasted one day leave next week trying to avoid this calamity. However from experience, calamities can't be averted just by taking leave cos leave can be cancelled involuntarily. But I should have known chances of me being sent there isn't exactly very high because firstly, I'm not the manager's pet. Mostly only pets get her job. Secondly, I'm perhaps the rare few without the overseas experience which I don't relish either. Seeing that my days in this department are pretty much numbered. Who gives a damn really?

On a different note, it's only the beginning of the month and I see alot of frivolous cash outflows that has already happened. Shopping both on and offline. Yeah so gotta curb that for the next twenty over days before the next pay check. Gotta save up if i were to go Taipei in August. :D

please don't let this happen

I'm so very afraid that I'll be sent to Tianjin on the second week of May!!!

OMG, please don't ever let this happen......I probably should have taken leave during that week. But I didn't want to waste my precious leave when I'm not going anywhere.

I need to cross my fingers.

unpredictable

Holidays are always too short. Came back to work on Wednesday and was immediately seconded out to another department. Seconded out indefinitely per say. Which is not exactly a bad thing considering how suffocating my unit can be. We are like caged animals under the close scrutiny of the monstrous management team.

So life now once again is totally unpredictable with me not knowing where I would be sent to each day. At least the people in the general department have something called a schedule of which I have never had. I even feel like a commodity for sale. Don't get me wrong. It's not a bad thing honestly. They can just second me till Aug'06. That would be when I'll pack my bags and go. Or even earlier.

On another note, Hong Kong was great. :) Unfortunately, the Easter sale didn't ease much of the expensive price tags. Not till the great HK sale in June-Aug'06. But still I spent quite a fair bit on footwear alone. :p

Next stop: Seoul. But whether I can successfully take leave in the late second half of the year remains a big question. And that would be dependent too on whether I'm still in the audit line.

Ha. Everything is so unpredictable.

rainy saturday

I looked like a corpse this morning.

After nursing a sore throat for the past 3 days and getting irritated over the slightest things over the past week, life hasn't been that good. That is an understatement because week in week out, I feel like crap too. That's my life for ya. So even when I'm flying to hk next week, I don't feel the excitement cos hello I'm sick.....and I really need to get well before I screw up my much needed hols.

Just like the way I screwed up the interview earlier this week. I was simply no match for the fresh blood. I think audit kills off creativity after a while. How embarrassing. I should not attempt anymore of this unless I'm fully prepared.

Currently chewing on a lozenge now and not wanting to pluck figures into the bloody audited combined.

That is not the way I want to spend my Saturday.

stupid blogspot

I have tried like 3 or 4 times to get a customized template in here but they have all failed. Each time I tried to insert the blogspot coding, something screwed up when viewed on ie. What is wrong? Anyway my patience is running low and it's Monday morning, meaning the whole bleeding work cycle is gonna repeat itself once more. I'll put this on hold till next weekend. If I'm alive.

I don't even know if I'm going HK anymore. Wails. *curses the hotels*

And currently suffering from goong withdrawal symptoms. Took me 24 episodes to realise that JJH is actually quite dishy. Oh well. Nowadays it's the fickle minded me at work. Whatever happened to My Girl's LDW?

it's been six years!

Happy birthday to you.

2000 - 2006. Wooh..six years since I have met you although I lost you somewhere in the midst.

Knowing full well that you'll never come back into my life again.

But it was good.

Happy birthday once again.

sad

I might be sleeping on the streets in Hong Kong. Hm, if given a choice, I think I'll sleep on the pavement at Paterson Street, Causeway Bay....

They did offer me a hotel in Causeway Bay but it's like a whooping $1k over per pax for the whole trip. Mad, mad, mad! No I don't need to stay in a four star hotel in the prime shopping districts. I just want jordan or the mongkok area but they are all fully booked?!!!! wtf! When I went online to surf those hotel sites, they are available with instant confirmations. So what the hell is the travel agency up to? This happened last year when I booked my Taiwan trip at Natas fair and AGAIN, Natas is really screwed when it comes to free and easy packages. What the hell....I'm not going to fork out that extra 300 bucks and reduced my shopping budget by the same amount.

So the alternative they offer me is some ulu hotel in the tsingyi region which is like freaking near to the airport and disneyland so you can very well guess, it's not within walking distance of any SHOPPING AREAS.

What about I just get the air tickets and book the hotel myself?

A much anticipated getaway is turning out to be a complete nightmare plus my neverending shitload of work to clear. Plus me going off early on Tue for that thingy...

Mucha hire purchase to amortize later.

My life is so sad.

arghhhhhh

Blew my top in the last post, fiery eh but things are all right now. I'm a mood changer and I can't be bothered to think about the future. If there's one? Things are so unpredictable and I'm screwing my own life around.

The job I was dying to get an interview for got back to me but suddenly there's not much excitement. Perhaps cos I have to leave early on a certain day next week to attend some seminar. My senior kinda knows and she doesn't care but it's tough to try to hide it from your team mates. I think I'm a bad liar.

Finally it's Thursday, I feel as if this week's never gonna end. So sucky.........wails, got to battle with hire purchase tomorrow. I don't understand a damn thing about it!

I hate amortization.

something to look forward to

Went to Natas fair and booked myself a holiday! :D And I haven't even submitted the leave form for those few days. lol. Like how cool is that? Don't try to reject my leave (on Monday) or I'll show you the letter.

Sunday is going to be totally burnt changing those figures and completing my sections. How disgustingly boring and tedious. But well, at least something to look forward to. Hong Kong here I come once again. I love that place. =)

im back

Haven't blogged for a few months and I'm finally back in the blogosphere. HELLO! to no one in particular....the name of this newly revived blog is inspired by this cute little handmade jewellery shop tucked in a small corner of Peel Street, Soho, Central Hong Kong. The stuff they have are really pretty but the prices are NOT pretty. Prices range from minimum SGD80 for a necklace that poor me can't afford.

Actually I registered for another account at Livejournal 'bout a week ago but forgot how to customize the layout. So I got tired of it and shifted back here.

Only told one person so far about the existence of this place.

Later folks.