blogging from taipei

Sudden drop in temperature, stinky tofu, late nights (insomnia..) just about did me in. I had a mild runny nose the day before I was due to fly and I sorta recovered on my first day here..BUT due to the above, my runny nose is back PLUS a sore throat. Brilliant, great...*sniffing away..*

The stupid panadol for cold relief is not working. :(

But how can I resist all the delicious food snacks here?

I'm never getting well at this rate.

Missed the last train earlier due to my stinky tofu craze and had to take the taxi back to hotel. Bleah.

fairytales do come true, don't they?

Saw this on somebody's blog. Thought it's kinda sweet (?) and meaningful.

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, perfect job, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle and live happily ever after. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust.

♥ But the thing is, it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely, because almost everyone has that smallest bit of faith and hope that one day they would open their eyes and all that they had dreamed of would all come true. At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t really expect it. It’s like one day you realize that the fairy tale is slightly different than your dream. The castle, well it may not be a castle. The prince, may not necessarily be prince charming. And it’s not so important that it’s happily ever after -- just that it’s happy right now. Yes?

See, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. And once in awhile, someone may even take your breath away.

♥♥♥

1/16

So begins my 16 days (just counted) of vacation but no joy whatsoever. WHY? What's WRONG with YOU? Yeah, like what's wrong with me?

1/16. I'm already stoning in front of my less than one month old love...I think I may be bringing my love with me on Thursday. I'm such a slave to it.

Alrite I do know what's bugging me and it's really getting quite stressful. No, not work-related in case you are wondering. It has been freaking 6 month long, abit too long for comfort IMO. Need to get my act together and dispose of this totally, before 2007 comes to a close. Or is that possible? Historically, involuntary disposal doesn't quite work. But I can't just go on like this.

Crazy shit is totally screwing up my hols.

Zzzzz

I have been sitting at Wisma starbucks for the past 3 hours waiting for a friend who's seriously very late and caught in the rain+crowd. If without the lappy as company, I would have just died.

broke, broken

I think I'm destined to have zero savings for these two months and no, it's not because of the xmas season or whatsoever, it is because of my purchases (aka laptop, winter clothings...) and a tiny mishap just happened less than an hour ago which is going to make me another 200 bucks poorer. Dammit. OF ALL TIMES.

I have been collecting bits and pieces of useless information over the last two weeks. Really useless stuff that fall short of what I really want...or do I really want it? Okay maybe I don't. It's cool to be back at square one.

You really shouldn't attempt.

end of year once again

It's December! Like how fast...and xmas is once again round the corner. Not that I celebrate it. A certain day next week will mark the one year that I've been with the firm. Lots of ups and downs, shit, tears, drownings and with more to come. I just need the strength and willpower to last through April and after that we'll see what's in store.

For the longest time ever, I have been bringing the office laptop home without fail everyday. Other than the fact that I have work to clear at home, it is because my 4 year old Fujitsu is well, and truly dead. It feels weird to be computer-less at home and also cos I'm such a slave to it, I had to bring the work laptop home. But sometimes I'm just so sick of it, I don't...and it's actually good in a way as I am forced to go to bed early as a result. Haha. Oh well. Anyway, haven't been bringing laptop home for a week. That feeling sure feels good. But it's only temporary relief before the whole cycle begins again. And anyway, I'm no longer computer-less at home. ;) Have succumbed to my lust and brought back a new baby.

******************

I do not understand why do I need acts of nature to get a conversation started? It's not even considered a conversation in the first place. What's WRONG with me?

:)

Self-induced happiness is still a form of happiness. Even if it's short-lived...haha especially in the face of impending doom.

It's the little things that matter.

update update

It has been a rather tiring week with an average of between 3 to 5 hours worth of rest per night. Partly due to insomnia (been thinking about alot of shit) and my involuntary nightshift...

Ha, next week's gonna be hell and I'm still wearing myself out this week.

I became a receptionist/secretary in the morning. I wanted to ignore the incessant ringings from behind and pretended to busy myself with work but the office was near empty, the ringings were irritating and I happened to be beside a senior manager, oh well, had to answer them. The caller gave a whole string of information to a person who was not around. Asked me for the contact number, no I don't know. Yeah so why don't you just drop him an email and I didn't bother asking for the name of the caller.

But after which, I couldn't resist not passing the message virtually even though there wasn't much of a message to relay, given that I didn't get the name nor bother to take note of the contents clearly. LOL. ;)

Anyway I've been told to justify the hours charged for a stupid job that was done 3 months ago. Okay, it's not just me, the whole team...disgusting. But it wasn't that difficult to account for my 182 hours, given that I was basically doing the whole entity myself.

And facebook is scary lah, after making the horrible realisation that a long-time foe is actually friends with a close pal of mine. Eeeks. Hell, I didn't even know they knew each other! Yikes, now we are connected...ew. Urgh.

schizo entry

I can't get over the psychological barrier, it's tormenting. Well, soon to become a physical cum mental torture if I should allow it to stay.

Anyway, went for supper last night at Geylang and came across three groups of people from E, who were there for supper as well. Ha, well I was with fellow ex-colleagues as well. What a coincidence.

I've got things to do, things to look at (work-related) but I'm not doing anything about them. Just happy to be squandering away what's left of the toil. That's what toil should be. I'm so sick of everything. Time to go hide in bed once more.

But before that, a super aww paragraph from Stardust:

“So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and… What I’m trying to say, Tristan is… I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I’d know it for myself. My heart… It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it’s trying to escape because it doesn’t belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I’d wish for nothing in exchange - no fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.”

bottomless pit

To a friend:

I am sorry I was pretty monosyllabic on msn (if you noticed)
Anyway, I can't share much in your happiness but trust me, I'm happy for you
but currently, I am incapable of expressing anything
I am drowning too much in my own unhappiness
but yeah I won't spoil things for you so I won't bring anything up

***

Do I have the guts to do it?

And this is how we say goodbye.

***

I love Jay's 青花瓷.

extremely gloomy toil

A cloud of gloom is hanging over my head.

I never needed you to help me so much, till now. In fact I always hated you (the way you always make things happen but in the end, they never work out), but now I seriously need your help.

Time is running out.

I might as well get ready a shovel and start digging my grave. Next up, my personal favourite line: Dying is faster.

let's cross over the wall

Stardust was good. Well I went in expecting it to be good anyway, after reading positive reviews in the papers. Yeah, it was such a long time since I last caught a movie, sigh, yeah my life is really quite sad.

Well, love a good fairy tale any day. :)

bad luck as always

I must have taken more photographs in my ex-firm's DnD than the current one. Yeah, just have to remember who to ask the pics from as there were numerous cameras involved. I didn't crash the DnD per say but I was around the area...and I met up with some people, hence the photo-takings.

Anyway, two people remarked pretty much the same things to me in office this week. One went, "Why are you always in office?"

And the answer, "Planning loh."

And the second one saw me today and asked directly, "Why are you always doing planning?"

I nodded sadly and of which he proceeded to bluntly add.

"Then you must have a lot of (team-in-charge) jobs."

Bah, great. Yes you are damn right. And I'm so gonna die.

Anyway, my Samsung charger just died on me. I thought I'm going to be totally contact-less tomorrow since my phone's battery went flat. But thank goodness for the USB cable, now the phone's happily charging from the laptop. However, urgh I'll have to drop by the Samsung service centre (wherever that is) to get the charger replaced. :(

big girls don't cry

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

The path that I'm walking I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'till I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to'
Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
it's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

jay mania

It's rare to see a Monday afternoon post.

But in any case, I am feeling damn pissed right now...and feeling damn handicapped without an OCBC credit card. Else I would have gladly rushed down to the nearest sistic counter and get the concert tickets over and done with.

So no ocbc credit card but armed with ocbc credit card details (as kindly supplied by a good friend), I attempted from morning till now to book a PAIR of jay chou concert tickets. To no avail. I got allocated some decent seats but the furthest I got was to the ticket availability page but I never, ever got to the proceed to make payment page. That site is !@#$!...and the hotline is really HOTTTT. Dammit, dammit, dammit...I'm forsaking my precious sleep time for this crap. No words can describe my annoyance/frustration/ANGER at the sistic website.

The same kind friend is gonna attempt to help me queue at a sistic counter near her workplace to get the darned tix.

I feel like giving up and retreating back to bed.

This is complete madness.

edit: I got my jay tix after a zillion failed attempts. I'm too tired to choose seats...and so settled with whatever they got there...forget about all the PBs area.

In pain

I had a root x3 surgery today...and now half of my face is in pain and I'm tasting and spitting blood out periodically. Gross. This surgery could potentially land me with a 5 day medical leave but I didn't think it would be that bad till I went for the consultation today. Anyway, seeing that my schedule doesn't permit an impromptu 5 day disappearance, it's only good that I had Saturday and Sunday to recover plus throw in 2 days more of MC. Feels abit bad towards the job next week as I'm working under a really nice manager. Alright then I'll just work doubly hard when I return on Wednesday.

In the meantime, can the bleeding stop???

**************************************

當對的人 等不到對的時間

就在放開雙手的瞬間 愛撕成兩邊
北極星的眼淚 說不出的想念

原來我們活在兩個世界

*************************************

traumatised

According to my standards, it is a bit too early to go to bed at ten plus pm.

However that is what I feel like doing right now. When I'm feeling upset or like now, upset plus traumatised, the only thing I feel like doing is to seek refuge in bed.

I'm just one terribly confused soul.

sunday should feel like sunday

Things don't always quite work out, the way I want it to be. It has indeed gone in the general direction according to my wishes, only to come to a halt because I am not enticed by what is in store.

Sigh, what to do? Back to square one again while I hang my head low, grit my teeth and pray for a less bumpy ride ahead (which is as good as impossible but as the saying goes, what won't kill you probably makes you stronger that is until the day I snap)

I still have more than 24 hours to change my mind.

On a separate note, masking is therapeutic on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

mid-week random

Tuesday is officially over and it still feels the same.

Maybe nothing's gonna change.

Or do I really want things to change? Let's see if it happens first.

idiotic people

I hate tactless people.

Don't you know that there are some things you shouldn't say in front of a girl?

Urgh. Don't think I'm very close to you and you start loosening your tongue. Twice. I decided to not take it to heart the first time and you did it a second time round. Okay third, if I count in your not-so-nice remark towards a certain somebody (that matters to me).

Anyway, I was already in a very bad mood and you had to annoy me further. Shouldn't care too much about such people. Pain in the arse, really.

So, maybe thing will take on a different course from Tuesday onwards. Sigh. We'll see.

Impaired judgment

I think I have just made the wrong decision again.

Yeah I believe it's wrong. Hell, I'm giving up something which is gonna be so right for something which is simply going to turn out horribly wrong. As always...my judgment is impaired. So damn, going to pay the price again.

Forever making wrong choices. I'm such an idiot.

Time to disapparate for good again while I get sucked into the unknown.

edit: Oooh, I realise that today marks the 1 year that I left my previous workplace.

lazy me

It's been a whileeee..

Primarily due to my home laptop being down so I don't particularly feel the urge to blog. Secondly, there are no interesting things to talk about. Life's been pretty mundane and abit on the sad side. Okay anyway, I feel bad today that I decided not to go for the intern outing, painstakingly organised by my previous workplace's interns (now year 1 associates) saturday after saturday and finally decided on today. Only one of us turned up from the few that they asked...if only they organised it as a dinner outing..

I'm really not a weekend lunch person.

I'm only alive in the later part of the day.

Plus I slept at 5am this morning..

Guess I'm crawling back to bed again pretty soon...I'm damn sleepy.

Totally worthless post again, as I say, there is really nothing interesting.

desensitizing...

I attribute my sickness to that lousy plate of aglio olio that I ate 3 days ago. It had way too much spices and pepper in it and it was like SOUPY, rather than the usual tossed dry aglio. So I choked on the spices and coughed myself red...plus slept late that night and I suppose this is the end result.

I wanted to pen a theory on tree branches but have been desensitizing myself too much to put the words down. It's great to expect the worst.

....

I have been too ill disciplined to come up with an entry. Well, actually I did sort of started on an entry a few days ago but couldn't be bothered to publish it.

I have the signs of a sore throat coming and sore throat always comes in a package with all other things.

Currently listening to the piano piece that was featured in Jay's movie Secret and allows one to transcend to 20 years ago. Cool piece. On my repeat mode now.

Yet another purposeless, senseless entry..

Barely here

For the first time in weeks, I finally left my laptop in office. Not that I have nothing to do, I just can't bear to look at it anymore.

I am dreading tomorrow. Yikes. Totally hate that messy one person job.

More mess to come.

I am sooooooooooooo tired.

I am barely here.

Grilled

Tormented to the point of falling sick.

Way to go. I am like brilliant for screwing up a small little, shitty job.

That was three months ago that I was thrown unceremoniously into a 3 day one person job. The client took leave on the first day and I could only go in on the second half of the day on the second which means I only had 1.5 days to finish two small shitty entities that are plagued with weird issues.

I didn't even know how to do tax then. Well, still am now but...I admit that section was really quite badly done as I wasn't really sure how to.

Now the shit is back to haunt me. I am in for it. I am like totally dead.

The irony of being able to survive a bigger list co shit and yet being killed instantaneously by a small shit.

I am sad.

But the sight of him does cheer me up.

disillusioned

Bad things come in triplets.

Two other jobs I did previously returned to haunt me on Friday. As if it wasn't bad enough that I was (still) sinking in my current job. So that makes it three in a row.

I suspect she meant for me to clear up the shit on my own time when any available free time of mine is already taken up tending to the current.

I'm tired...

My life stinks

It is a sin to continue staring at the laptop now so I'll just do a quickie then scoot.

Cos my weekend has been positively burnt staring at the laptop+documenting+selecting samples+data entry+so that I can vouch myself to death next week (which is like tomorrow).

I didn't feel half the hype when the potter book reached my doorstep at an unearthly 8am on Saturday morning (I had barely rested for 3 hours). I knew I would be reading spoilers everywhere so I rather spoil things for myself by flipping to the back and reading the last two pages. I won't normally do this but....I really don't have time luxury.

Yeah I'm going to off this thing now and continue with my deathly hallows.

Goodnight.

Will more pay make your day?

An article which caught my eye on Msn Careers:

Will a bigger salary make you happier?

So it has been proven statistically by Princeton University researchers that the link between money and happiness is mostly an illusion. But this is also an age-old theory.

"Even if you do reach a higher income level, earning more money doesn't necessarily mean more smiles -- in fact, it probably means more stress. We overlook the fact that earning more typically means working more. Working more means less time with family, friends, and for yourself. If you could earn double your income by working double the hours, would you?"

I totally agree with the above. However I don't earn double my income when I work double my hours.

"Higher-income people tend to be tenser and devote more time to "obligatory" activities like work, shopping and childcare..."

SHOPPING OBLIGATORY? Okay maybe one is obliged to do some retail therapy so as to release stress temporarily but sigh, it's only temporary for stress always bounces back the next morning after the shopping. :\

But people are never satisfied?

Scary shit.

I'll rather be a farmer.

This is my pre-disappearance post. Goodbye.

Artificially charged

I have woken up from my stupor as reality hits me hard and fast (with a totally unrealistic, tight deadline+complex subsidiary with alot of issues+non-existent associate year 2).

I am scared. I am depressed. I feel helpless.

However, still need to pull myself together and hope I survive this unscathed.

It is a steep price to pay for being a senior.

Happy 777~

Happy triple seven!

Just have to come up with something on the so-called memorable day.

I wish I'm at the Tokyo concert now. *meepies*

Banana milk!

Alright, enough of the drama-mama posts (at this point in time, really can't elaborate much too..abit too painful to elaborate...).

I am currently watching this brand new Korean drama, Coffee Prince. It stars Yoon EunHye, one of my favourite Korean actresses from Goong (Princess Hours) fame. So anyway, just want to share a few screen caps below.







Yes so what is the big deal? Banana milk! Hahahaha. I miss banana milk. Seeing banana milk cheers me up.

Still reeling from my stupidity

To continue from my previous post.

This is all too fucking familiar. In fact it happened last year too, didn't it? Except the events of last year were kind of out of my control but this time round, I am in full control of everything but I had to go and do myself in. Great, fabulous, fantastic...way to go you (me).

I just need to rant

It is not the end of the world but it could spell the end at present.

I am the world's biggest idiot.

Fate sealed?

Have I just done myself in?

Or rather I think I'm done for.

I must be crazy.

PS: This is a totally redundant entry. So ignore me please. I just feel I need to give myself a few hard knocks. Like try knocking sense in.

Yes I'm really crazy.

un-tag me please

The weather is killing me. (On an irrelevant note, last year this time, I was in Taipei.)

It is UNBEARABLE.

Kill me already.

I am not used to being tagged a senior. After all it's only been a day of being a SENIOR associate and I'm not even doing anything. Stupid web-based learning which took up my whole day and I'm still not done with all the clickings as I kept missing out on hidden links and have to go back to re-click them. Argh, anyway I shall continue with the brainless clickings tomorrow.

I am already seeing 2 upcoming team-in-charge jobs and probably more to come. Sigh.

My last week to enjoy before before hell and peak kicks in again.

On another irrelevant note:


+


Okay maybe the latter is more important especially if one has to endure 3 freaking minutes to get 1 sms sent.

Samsung U700=beauty

Nuff' said.

Release date: July 2007.

Well let's hope it looks as good as in the pictures.

Retail therapy helps alleviate the pain temporarily

My credit card bills are going to crush me to death.

Despite telling myself not to spend too much after the damage done in Korea, I went ahead with my retail therapy yesterday. In fact the therapy started two weeks before when I bought some articles of clothing here and there. I didn't buy alot but the things I bought, they were kind of over-priced so urm yeah. So effectively I have burnt a severe big hole in my pockets and it's not even payday. Sigh. I wasn't in a good mood. I was alone. Almost bought 3 dresses from GG<5 (that would have been utter total madness) but settled for 1 dress and a top in the end (those 2 were the over-priced items).

Mango sale was crazy. I had a tough time navigating in the store...saw that the stripey top I bought last week was cheaper by $13 bucks. Bloody hell.

I felt better last night but when I woke up this morning, the sinking shit feeling is still there. Sigh. But believe me, it's time to start un-doing the jinx.

Wish me luck.

A broken promise

I feel royally jinxed.

A day after the mad bitch's incident. I saw that I was being booked on more of the incompetent manager's shitty jobs. And mind you, it is one continuously block of two of his jobs where I can just imagine him happily shifting me around clearing shit here (and it might not be the 2 jobs listed on the schedule...any random shit from his many shitty jobs).

I don't know what I have done to deserve this. It is totally not fair.

I am tired of talking about this but I think all these are somehow still related to the shipping shit. It was a broken promise right from the beginning. The shipping booking didn't budge an inch which makes it hard for other potential bookings to come in. I don't understand why the planner couldn't create clashes since it already known that I won't be doing this going forward(?) And now jobs under the incompetent man have to crawl their way into the empty spaces in between the shipping shit. This is what I always feared and my greatest fears have all come true.

With most bookings for FY2008 being more or less finalised now (unless people starts quitting), I don't think I have much of a say anymore which makes it damn depressing.

Even very recent new joiners get better selection of jobs than me.

I think I just about had enough.

need a hug

It got so bad that I had to swallow my tears and misery and made a quick exit to the washroom to cry my heart out.

***
Warning: Long angry entry ahead

***

I accomplished two mission impossible tasks in the space of two days. Firstly, I managed to convince the incompetent manager to release me back to the job I was doing for the past two weeks. He wasn't willing to budge initially and kept insisting that I had the familiarity when all I did was to zap and xref some shit on the 2 days last month. Well anyway, to cut things short, I managed to make him see my point of view and he relented, even without a replacement.

That was mission impossible 1. Mission impossible 2: I got someone out from his clutches from this very same job today.

So he agreed to release me and I happily went to inform the planner. I should have just left it as that and leave the planner to find someone to replace me. But I acted smart and committed a folly. There was this other girl booked to follow up on my 2 week job (after me as I was booked away by the incompetent man) and she was suddenly available because I was booked back on it. Thinking that she's really available and according to the planner, there were no other replacements, I suggested foolishly for her to take my place in the other job. Well anway, the situation was (after I had the time to sit down, dry my tears and think clearly) even if I didn't mention it, the planner would have gone ahead to book her also. But the bottomline is, I shouldn't have but even if I didn't, I guess the events to unfold would still be the same as long as she is booked on this.

She called me up three times on my extension to lambast me.

She questioned exactly what happened and if there was a promise to find a replacement because the stupid incompetent manager told her we promised to find him one. And if so, why wasn't she informed. In reality, perhaps my senior and I might have mentioned a replacement before but since he wasn't willing to release me initially so we didn't exactly go scout for one. I had to repeat many times to her that at the point that he decided to release me, there was no replacement. It was because me and the planner thought she was available due to this sudden change that she was placed into the job. She got so worked up and accused me of a BLATANT SWOP. Apparently, she has this other big job that is commencing soon and she wanted to be booked on it now to help out with some stuff but her request in the email came too late in the eveing. She even said ugly things like I was right beside the planner whereas hers came through the email and that was why my request went through and hers didn't. The planner said that last minute job requests are by first come first served basis and this incompetent manager has been bugging her for more staff ever since a long time ago and no one from her so-called big job had contacted the planner. So it does make sense that the planner would book her on it, with or without my silly suggestion (which I really shouldn't have I admit).

So I apologized many times and told her I would try to resolve things since I felt responsible for it. She wasn't convinced and called up another two times to repeat the two words BLATANT SWOP. She even wanted to come look for me after her training and when I told her I had already tried talking to the incompetent manager, she got worried that she might look bad in front of him, as if she didn't want to take on the job. Like wtf, don't you want to get out of it in the first place? Anyway she was just plain bitter and blamed me for it. Went as far as to order me to book myself back on the incompetent manager's job, let her resume her role in helping to follow up on my 2 wk job and let everything return to status quo. Oh, so your big job doesn't really need you?

At first the incompetent manager refused to release her, as per normal. Even her big job team-in-charge told the planner they could do without her as the job had many people on it anyway.

Don't ask me how. But I got her out of the shit and back into her beloved, darling big job.

I bet she must be heaving a great sigh of relief now. Don't want to hear from her again but sadly she is still booked on follow up and I have to update her next week. Fuck. I don't want to see her. Crazy bitch.

Then can I kindly direct this question too, wasn't it a classic case of blatant swop in the case of pure brat and me? The fact that she got herself into financial institutions and shoved all her shipping shit bookings to me?

Brats. Thy are all ill-bred brats. I didn't know you had to inform them before you booked them for any jobs. How spoilt and disgusting. Oh yes the crying bit, I was so stressed and upset by basically everything that I just couldn't help it anymore. And running up and down today like a mad woman trying to put things right.

For now, I just want to get past June.

I need a hug.

I want to go drinking.

Or maybe disappear totally.

crappy monday, help.

What does it take to seriously irritate a person?

I attempted to do that today by asking many questions. And he actually retorted, "If I knew where all those things are, I will be doing them myself." Great, so you are even more clueless than I am. If you don't know where the supporting are, how am I supposed to know?

I (still) hate him.

Did everything half-heartedly. I swear some figures don't tie but if more den 95% does, I sure hope he does not notice the 5%.

Had a loss of appetite during lunch. Both me and my previous firm's senior...she was worried about her meeting later on the in afternoon whereas I was thinking of the messy shit I have to clear and also how to get through the next 1 week 3 days when I was already feeling suicidal just having to work 2 days under him last month.

Everyone seems to be in a crappy mood on Monday. I shall refrain from msn-ing lest I say/ask the wrong things. Yeah especially since I'm in a crappy pms-y mood myself.

cool sunday

Today is a good day to just laze in bed and do nothing. Been raining the whole of yesterday and it has been raining on and off today...which is absolutely divine. Never mind the fact that I was braving the rain yesterday to get to Sim Lim Square to check out tv tuners, then shopping at Orchard and ended off with Ocean 13.

So here I am seated with one of my many Korean facial masks on my face, counting away the minutes before I can remove it then retreat back to bed.

Last weekend to enjoy...

fleeting thoughts

On the train to work this morning, I had a fleeting thought of staying on till senior year 2. That is if I don't have too many team-leading jobs or shitty jobs. I had my fair share of good jobs during my brief six months here minus off the shipping and the incompetent manager who simply loves to book me to clear his outstanding shit. The shipping shit isn't all that bad but it just isn't my thing and I don't see the point in specialising in it. The reason why I hate(d) it then was because I was made to co-team lead with the pure brat when I knew nuts about the shipping business. And also the pure brat had much to contribute to my misery. I thought my wish was made loud and clear...however in the end, it was the pure brat who managed to wriggle herself out of it by simply requesting to do banks. Sure enough, she got her wish...i*c disappeared for her whereas for my schedule, the whole evil grey block stays to haunt and remind me I was cheated.

So that was how the fleeting thought came about, for a moment I thought I could. But I am really, really bu gan yuan. But is there anything I can even do about it? At the risk of being thrown even shittier things, I still wish for i*c to disappear, totally. Then I can discuss options with myself about sticking around for a longer period of time. I don't mind long jobs but can it be something I don't feel strongly against? I seem to be okay with all other industries (except when working under the incompetent manager). Sigh. Have I been passive long enough? Thinking stupidly that they will do something about my booking? Turns out I was so wrong.

SIGH.

Departure seems imminent but.

Pure brat, you are one lucky bitch.

happy 6 months

This marks the 5th day of my voicelessness. And still am not seeing a doctor. I mean I am fine and all, besides an incredibly sore throat, my raspy voice and occasional coughs...I can function pretty well. I just don't believe in taking mc when it's not required. Throw in a shit job with a shit manager and that would become extremely attractive. Haha, ya that's how things work.

Anyway, happy six months to myself.

Six months of being here and counting down to god knows when.

voice gone

I have officially lost my voice. As of last night, my voice has been reduced to a raspy, husky croak. No, it is not sexy at all. Especially when you are croaking your way through work.

Sigh. An MC would be good but why is it that when I am genuinely unwell, I can't take MC! Talk about irony.

I would be left alone with an intern tomorrow while the senior is happily having training. To top it off, the manager wants to come down. I hardly think I am in the state to discuss any sort of issues whatsoever.

Sigh. Work stinks and June looks set to be a long terrible month. Not that I am looking forward to July cos I will be swallowed back into my prolonged nightmare.

100th post dedicated to the N76

My 100th post!

I wanted to comment on my blog being a year old in March but cleanly forgot about it. But anyway this is the 100th post, so I guess it's something to remember by except the 100th entry is gonna be dedicated to something frivolous again.

I am in love with the Nokia N76. I wasn't exactly looking out for phones lately as I don't need to (2 year plan not up) and also none caught my attention till I saw the very pretty N76.

It's Red! And shiny red somemore!


I got a soft spot now for anything that is red/shiny or black/shiny and N76 happens to come in both colours!


But somehow I prefer the red one cos it's so flashy. Muahahaha.

I used to think Samsung clamshells are nicer than Nokia clams but N76 just about proves that wrong now. It is such a beauty IMO.

However, it only has a 2 megapixel camera (as compared to my 3 megapixel n80). CNet Asia editors gave it a 6.7/10 which is only average. But the average user gave it a 9/10, haha guess people are going more for the looks than the features. I wonder how's the sms function. Currently my n80 is pissing me off cos it takes ages to get one sms sent. Not when I'm in a hurry then I rather call the person than staring at the phone wondering when the other person's ever gonna get my message.

But anyway too broke now to even think about the N76 for I just splurged on a shiny black LG 22'' lcd monitor. Haven't set it up yet...can't wait!

Will be dreaming of the n76 still..what a pretty, sexy phone. *sniffles*

First time blogging in office, which I consider a taboo and should never in any circumstances be repeated again (unless in situations like this). In any case, there is no one seated beside, behind me so I am pretty safe.

BUT not safe from incoming bombs. Sigh.

Currently awaiting for shit and bombs to fly by my way.

Maybe I should have MC-ed myself but then again, MCs should be put to good uses and not wasted on situations like this. It's not all that bad yet, but what do I know? Shit piling at say 4:30 pm in the afternoon is no joke. And I'm gonna brave the crowd at the PC Show later. Haha, have skipped quite a number of IT/PC shows due to the disgusting crowds but this time round, I wanna check out the LCD screens. Might invest in a 22 inch one for my room...for bigger and better viewings (think dramas, movies) from the lappy. Yah, yah it's totally a want, not a need. And checking out ipod nanos/ipods, my ipop mini is dying. Yes my list of wants is very long and I am not going to blow my finances at one go, having just contributed substantially to the South Korea economy.

So gonna end off abruptly now then.

Evening update:

The bomb wasn't really a bomb. Just some admin stuff and that's about all. Phew. Last weekend to enjoy before I start peaking again.

depressed

My first bout of depression after so long....or rather the second one of the year. I remembered I was pretty depressed immediately after returning from Taipei that made me wanna call it quits. Well this second round of depression ain't any far off from the first. In fact, they are related.

I hate solo jobs.

I rather there's one more person on it besides me so that I won't just totally sink and drown alone. And the feeling really suck, especially if your client took leave, TB wasn't ready when the client returns and when the TB is finally ready, the beginning retained earnings DON'T TIE but the client has already gone back home. All these in the space of 2 days and I only have 3 fucking days to complete the audit PLUS the bloody financial statements. Not to mention there is TAX involved, something I have forgotten/never attempted and no one around to guide. I am at a loss really and behaving like a complete zombie for the whole of today. I am feeling so goddamn helpless to the point that I am stoning and staring off into thin air if I am left on my own. I know full well there is no way I can finish, I don't know what to do about it....I just want to die.

That is precisely why I am very sure I can't survive as a senior. Too much responsibilities involved with too many bosses and jobs to answer to.

The above encompasses much of my misery and the second bit is related to what I mentioned in the first para. My counselling manager has quit. No one's gonna be around to ensure that the shit will be removed from my schedule. On the contrary, pure brat managed to pull it off. That job has totally vanished from her schedule and replaced with banks and funds. Well, maybe the top favors pure breds and listen to their requests. And midstreamers are merely people they think they can cajole and con easily?

I am going to die on Monday.

expiring

First day back at work and I got thrown into the deep end, well more bottomless whirlpools whatsoever to come. I was booked on OA, the secretary was on leave, I was happily shaking my legs till I saw something red on my schedule. Yeah, literally saw red and was dragged down to clear shit for a securities firm. For someone who has no idea what the hell is CRR and PRR, I thought killing myself was the surest and fastest way to save myself. The AM couldn't be bothered to go into details as he was rushing for time. Merely gave me an overview of where to look for what and I started to plough through the figures myself. It was just blind tying of figures and when I had to talk to the client, my questions were mostly short and vague so as not to show my complete ignorance. Yeah what a way to start a new work week after two weeks of brain malfunction. Yes, my soul is still in Seoul.

Besides the shitty work bit, a piece of not-so-good news greeted (shocked) me which perhaps reaffirms my expiring shelf life. Sigh

Mawang-ing

The Devil is totally freaking me out. I'm wondering if I should continue with one more episode or maybe half of an episode. Really should try to sleep earlier today as I came back kind of late last night and also tomorrow, WORK. Sigh. Never mind, shall try to endure a few months more and we'll see again.

But must admit, The Devil is really quite good as a suspense thriller and that humans are really the scariest of all creatures.

Project Korea accomplished

My body clock is screwed. Woke up at 8:30 am today which was a sin since I am still on leave and haven't had a good rest for the past 8 days. Maybe too used to waking up on the dot for fear of being late. And to clarify on something, I am not exactly a light sleeper, I can sleep past thunder storms and what not. I am just not used to morning calls imposed by package tours and hence as a result, the body subconsciously forces itself to wake up unnaturally. Sigh.

Despite everything, I love Korea.

Wanted to nap in the afternoon but ended up surfing randomly at forums and watching video clips and to my dui-ness, I read that my favourite korean boy (Se7en) was back in Seoul from the US the very same week I was there. Argh! Else I could have kept my eyes peeled at every corner in the city of Seoul. Haha. Ignore my fangirl nonsense please.

Anyway, take a look below at where most of my money went into:

A grand total of 26 masks and other random things


As compared to what I bought in Taipei in March


I have gone all crazy with Korean cosmetics. As what Joyce aptly puts it, we are indeed very bad influence on each other. ;)

And these are not all.

Earrings! Pardon the lousy shot, can't use flash as the earrings reflect light


Plus shoes, clothes, food....I really have to eat grass for the next few months. Who cares about the upcoming GSS? I have no motivation to shop locally anymore. But I do have to splurge on pre-ordering the last HP book fast before the 7% GST hits (being the kiasu s'porean...)!

Checked my office mail this morning, no bombs no nothing for the past week which is good. I shall enjoy the slacking for the rest of this week. I don't want to go back to work.

Korea!

Joyce has alot of things to remember for Korea trip. Uh, I'll try to remember the Goong bears? But I bet they'll be so expensive! And I don't want to fit in too many bears, they can't be compressed can they? lol.

Till then.

spideyyy

Flying in about 22 hours' time and I haven't packed a single thing into my luggage. Yeah I have about a day's time so what the heck, cept I haven't deducted the sleeping hours. Minus off the time spent procrastinating as well as pondering what to bring. I really don't have much time. Argh I hate packing. I wish I'm Harry Potter, then with a swish of my wand, everything will fly into the suit case and be PACKED automatically. And I hate late night flights too. But then again, I'll be in Korea come Monday morning.So.......finally....my long awaited Seoul 2007 plan. :)

Anyway, just came back from Spidey. I think Tobey McGuire has grown fat, even looks abit on the 'uncle' side. LoL. I don't hope for a Spidey 4 cos my handsome misunderstood villain is dead. Oh well. It's your normal action-packed, superhero movie and Spidey 3 still lived up to that IMO. I don't think I'll ever get tired of superhero movies...yeah just throw in the cute guys. ;)

It's time for bed. I will try to pack as fast as possible tomorrow today, I promise.

Retribution

Retribution is a stupid horror flick. Please don't watch it if you have a choice. Or if you don't, just save the $8/$9.

Okay, we had a choice yesterday and it was alternating between Eternal Summer and Retribution. Eternal Summer is this taiwanese arty farty drama about gays and it has supposedly won/nominated for some awards but somehow we choose horror over gays art. And it sucks. And that female ghost's screech is way too piercing..think fingernails on a chalkboard. I would write it off as a totally pointless movie. Or maybe Hills have eyes 2 would be a better choice for a horror feast but I wasn't in a blood and gore mood.

It has been such a long drough of nil movies for me and I have to break the dry spell with a stupid film. Why not Spiderman 3? Because Spiderman 3 is freaking not available till today and I'm not supposed to watch it as I'm watching it this coming weekend.

Anyway for the last two nights, I have been plagued with nightmares once again. I don't know it is always the case, the week before my leave, it has to be fucking unbearable with loads of undue stress thrown in, which explains my disturbed state of mind.

Majolica Majorca

You have heard about birkenstock sprees. Well, there are all kinds of online sprees but now, there is the Majolica Majorca spree. Yes, you heard it, for those who know, one line of Shiseido's product and per the website, supposedly available only in Japan. That is wrong, it is not only available and sold exclusively in Japan, in fact it is available at most Watsons' in Taipei (I don't know why the 101 Watson don't sell MM stuff....but the XMD one has plenty).

The prices published on the above site are definitely more expensive than the prices in Taipei. Let's just take a look at the Majolook Illuminator. It costs SGD22.90 but if you get it in Taipei, it's NT330 which roughly translates to about SGD15. Haha but of course, you need to travel to Taiwan to get it at that kinda price which basically is going to cost more than a mere 8 bucks difference. But in return, you get the happiness and satisfaction just to get away from SG. I love Taipei. :) And I stocked up on my MM stuff, 2 palates of the Majolook Illuminator, 1 Majolica skin remaker, 1 blusher, 1 lipgloss as well as a pricessy container for the skin remaker.

We should hint hint for the Watson's in SG to bring in MM cosmetics too.

I still can't bear to use my MM stuff......

frivolous entry

It just goes the show how small the world really is and how goddamn ignorant I am.

This guy who added me on friendster some time ago (and on msn too) is actually the CEO of a well-known spa. I only know he drives a porsche cos of the pictures from friendster and that's about all. Exchanged a few friendster messages and never chat once on msn before and after which he was conveniently forgotten.

And how do I get to know about this? That is because he forms one of the judges on a certain beauty contest currently on TV right now.

Haha well well, something interesting on a boring Sunday night.

why are you not around anymore

I guess I wasn't wrong when I caught sight of you 5 months ago. Refrained from finding out nor confirm if I was right. So yeah turns out I was right...except you are not around anymore. Damn, I'm so kpo. ;)

Well, well, will see if our paths do cross again in the future.

Major decision to make once again. Urgh. I have said it before, it's only a matter of realising it sooner. Tradeoffs there will be but gosh, I'm having such an internal struggle.

I can only look forward to Korea now.

realising it sooner

Burnt a good half of my Sunday clearing shit for i*c. 4 late adjustments that affected a hell lot of sections. And saw the shitass manager's email regarding the partner's 2nd round of review for these 2 entities next week. That is as good as hinting for me to clear complete the shit by this weekend. At my own time.

I highly doubt I'll have the time to entertain his emails next week as I foresee another shitass tight deadline job. But it is going to be interrupted by my self-created mess. It may just be a matter of realising it sooner.

And after next week, it is back to following up the i*c. Something I totally dread and I have a feeling the pure brat is going to leave behind a trail of shit. Lately I don't feel like calling her the pure brat anymore, pure bitch would be more apt.

I was feeling hungry earlier but dinner's not coming and suddenly I am not hungry anymore.

taipei lowdown

A summary of what I did in Taipei.

First day

Dinner at ximending then went to Huaxi night market. I was quite disappointed with Huaxi as it had some raving good reviews but it turned out to be, well, nothing spectacular. Totally pales next to Shilin or Raohe. The usual foodfare lined the street but the actual Huaxi was just a quiet row of massaging stalls and some small little touristy shops. But I managed to get a pair of red heels for NT$133 (approx S$6). Now that was quite a steal.

Second day

Jiufen! Just had to bring my mom there although I was quite lazy...taking into account the travelling time. Decided not to take the train cos the rails are confusing. Took the Keelung bus and it took about 1.5 hours before we reached lovely Jiufen. Bought snacks and stuff, yeah the usual and I realise that the pineapple tart thingy (feng li su) is cheaper in Jiufen than outside. After Jiufen, it was the Keelung bus back to the East District. Combed the 2 Sogos. Gorgeous shoes and clothes they have in Sogo...but the price tags are in thousands of NT$ so erm, well....ate the egg omelette at the dan dan wu along the stretch of underground mall that links Zhongxiao Fuxing and Zhongxiao Dunhua stations. And of course once I reached ZXDH station, I couldn't resist not popping by Jay's Omni! Ha.....so walked past that 4 alleys again till I reached Lane 161, turned left...was abit disappointed though that his pink antique car wasn't parked outside anymore. It was just some regular white vehicle that I didn't pay much attention to. After East District, I decided to check out Gongguan night market which was just opposite the prestigious Taipei National University (known as NTU too). It was already nightfall when I reached Gongguan and the NTU campus just looked old and small, well maybe I couldn't see clearly in the dark. Gongguan was slightly better than Huaxi but it was just one line of shops selling accessories and stuff with some food in between the alleys. It still is nothing compared to Shilin.

Third day

Yangmingshan!!!! Never been there before, was quite excited till it started pouring halfway during the bus ride up the mountain. The bus did not bring us all the way up and we had to trek quite a journey up to the Yangmingshan park where the flower festival was supposedly to be at. And the rain never subsided. Lousy weather to attempt Yangmingshan but what to do? I was already there. Almost wanted to give up while seeking refuge at some shelter with 3 nice taiwanese aunties (they were sisters!) who were warming themselves with wine and they told us that Yangmingshan park was just 5 minutes away. Great we can't just walk back all the way so might as well proceed on and we were rewarded with the sight of pink sakura, yes, despite the rain. So braving the cold, the rain and an empty stomach, we posed with our umbrellas with the Sakura trees. It was my first time seeing sakura in 20 over years. Haha. Fortunately there was a shuttle bus to ferry us directly out to Shipai MRT from the park's carpark cos I seriously can't imagine walking all the way back. After which it was Shilin food market for some hot porridge and hao da ji pai. Not many stalls were open as it was still in the afternoon. Took shuttle bus to Miramar and mom refused to get on the ferris wheel, lol. Well anyway, my main purpose was to visit Carrefour (across the road) for my supply of chocolates. Back to Shilin for oyster meesua, oyster omelette and then Shilin night market! Went to the pets section first to ooh and ahh at the cute doggies and then window shopped, surprisingly didn't get anything except for a necklace. Although I still loved Shilin compared to other night markets.

Fourth day

Went Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall so mom could take some pictures. Then it was on to my favourite Danshui. It was at Danshui's yu ren ma tou that I saw Li Wei (taiwanese actor aka the late xu weilun's ex-boyfriend) filming. I think he looked damn dao loh so after a short while, we got tired of looking at him and continued to cam whore along yu ren ma tou. After Danshui, we were off to Wufenpu. Right season to be at wufenpu cos they have the nicest dresses at dirt cheap prices and I ended up buying 3. Went Raohe night market next to eat the delicious chou tou fu and mango ice! This time I opt for the mango+strawberry combination. Simply sumptious. It was also at Raohe that I discovered there was a special breed of tiny chicks referred to as 'mini ji'O. They were so cute!

Fifth day

Considered going to Wulai but I didn't do any research so abandoned the idea for....Taipei Zoo instead! Haha. The admission fee was only NT$60 (approx S$2.80), *coughs* singapore zoo *coughs* is so *coughs* expensive and bleah do I need to mention fewer animals? It took me almost 3.5 hours to finish walking around Taipei Zoo. Didn't regret it.....gosh I love the monkeys and the bears! After the zoo excursion, we adjourned to City hall area, walked around the malls and ended with dinner at Taipei 101. Bought another 2 pairs of shoes at the shinkong mall..can't help it. They are so princessy! Mom wanted to return early to pack but I left her in the hotel room to join my friend (who happened to be at Taipei too) and we went Shida night market. Not too bad but didn't buy anything as I was more or less broke by then and I still wanted to go get this bling bling tee from XMD the next day.

Sixth day

Spent whatever that was left of the day at XMD and splurged on earrings, a cap and of course that bling bling tee I was eyeing at chengpin 116.

Okay I meant for it to be a summary. Maybe pictures another time...I'm tired and I still have to think about my crisis.

back!

Taipei was great (as always) despite the fact that this is my third visit in consecutive 3 years. I don't get tired of the place......I can just pack my bags and stay there for good. Serious.

My holiday would have been brilliant if not for the pure brat ruining it halfway through. I have so many things to thank her for. However I don't wish to go into that.....I've got more pressing things to settle now but I'm kinda procrastinating. Sigh. I hate the whole cycle. But what to do? I have no other alternatives.

I would love to showcase my Taipei pics but that would require time and guess that would be another day so hopefully I get around to doing it.

But first, the important things.

Oh yes, almost forgot, happy birthday to you!

insomnia

I didn't sleep a wink last night. Maybe I was in between consciousness but in any case I was fully aware of the time ticking past and was checking my alarm clock by the hour.

WHY.

Refer to the previous entry. I can't believe I'm losing sleep over i*c.

In reality, I'm in denial and fleeing.

Flying off on Sunday but yet I feel no thrill. That shit is really killing my hols.

moodless

My precious one week leave is coming up soon but sadly I'm in no holiday mood. Not when there are 2 deadlines right smack in my face and these 2 deadlines are coincidentally (or unfortunately) during my leave. Okay yes, like seriously how fucked up can this get?

I won't be so concerned if there are people available to follow up as after all, this is a huge job with the whole world booked on it. BUT NO, everyone's busy as hell and no one is going to have the time to do the shitty subsequent event review for my 2 or rather 3 (unwillingly forced to adopt one) pathetic entities. And the stupid manager will just keep hounding people who are not booked on the job to complete it....I wonder what would be his reaction once he knows I'm going on leave, that is if he doesn't know by now already. I did mention to him before previously in an email. Maybe it didn't get drilled into his thick skull.

To be fair, my last week of march was X-ed out by the planner and of course I seized the opportunity to plan my toil there to enjoy a brief break. And I only got to knew the internal deadline on Friday. My holiday mood is totally evaporating now. People are going to point fingers at the girl who's taking leave on the week that the shit is finalising on the audit. Well in the first place, you guys only booked the pure brat to follow up.

Honestly, the pure brat has too many outstanding things on her hands to complete by next week (I'm even wondering if their so-called internal deadline is feasible. Expecting to see shit in my inbox when I return from Taipei.) I even feel bad now having to email the outstanding matters to her although I'm sure she is fully updated on the status of things. So who will be penalized in the end? I don't have to repeat that I wasn't booked on it and the pure brat is only one person. So can't blame her too, blame the manager. Blame the lousy staff allocation. Blame i*c.

I suspect also that the pure brat shifted the planning for these few shit entities to me in September. Well maybe I'll be out by then unless some miracle happens.

Enough of the shit above. I think I'm infatuated with se7en now, much as I don't like to admit cos he's like one year younger? ah sheesh. But I think he has such sexy lips and a good bod. He just started to grow on me towards the last few episodes of Goong S because the story only got better at the last few episodes. Okay well, no more Goong S, no Goong withdrawal symptoms like the first Goong...I need to get the se7olution album.

horrigible shit

All good things must come to an end.

The last proper entry was like almost two weeks ago so seeing that time has lapsed and I haven't blogged...I am treading on very thin ice now after the Monday that I was summoned to see the shipping shit manager after working hours. That is the problem when there are no seniors hovering above, I get a good taste of what it's like to be a tic. It's not just the backlog, it's the ownership and fuck it, I was only playing a supporting role seeing that this entity was assigned to the pure brat initially. I've become a slave to my email and somehow living in fear, having to check it at least twice a day (client's place no internet access) and holding my breath whenever there is a pop-up that announced that I've got new mail. All thanks to the shipping shit. Anything that relates to it can only spell more work and worse still, to see one liner such as "Call me now" from the manager.

Argh I don't know when I can shrug off this shipping shit and I'm going on leave in about 1.5 weeks' time. Currently I'm just extremely scared that I'll be booked back to clear the shit. I don't know if the upcoming counselling session (if there is one) works to get me outta this so at least maybe I can see a faint glimmer of my future here otherwise ...my retiring plans would be brought forward.

But to be fair, I think it's the people that counts. If I have a slightly nicer manager who knows his stuff and bugs lesser and the pure brat is actually someone who doesn't piss people off, maybe ... I won't mind that much. Yes and to be fair again, the shipping shit pales in comparison to the other shit I have gone through before (and didn't get outta alive for that matters).


*******************************************************

Enough of the above.

I attended a friend's wedding on Saturday, my first friend to get hitched since all weddings I attended in the past are relatives or friends of my parents. Well more to come... ;) Seeing my friend looking radiant and blissful in that gorgeous white gown made me wonder when would it be my turn to be up there walking down the aisle with my dad beside me. *shudder* I don't think that's going to happen in a million years' time, meaning never because I'm starting to believe not in this lifetime. I'll be happy with a dog as companion, trust me.

Haha, anyway happy for her.

******************************************************

Eeks it's only Monday.

edit: Okay so I got a sudden urge to do a revamp here and re-skinned my blog and settled this in 30 minutes, cool. And for the first time, it actually looks decent on firefox too. I hate ie btw...the new version absolutely sucks.

Tmd.

Tmd.

Haven't watched soccer for such a long time but decided to watch my beloved Pool against Manchester United last night and really tmd again, to have it all screwed up by that 92nd minute goal by substitute O'Shea. Liverpool had more chances, shots, corners than that idiotic 10 man Manu but sighhhh...

Bah.

tgif!

I find it a marvel that my laptop can repair itself overnight. Literally.

A few weeks ago, I encountered problems while trying to burn some files. The program would burn halfway then stall and I ended up wasting 2 discs. That wasn't the end...my comp started to hang and when I restarted it, the infamous blue screen greeted me. Usually I would just allow it to do the file check thingy till 100% and everything would be back to normal. But the blue screen got stuck at 0%. I restarted many times but the blue screen won't go away...actually there is a shortcut to this. Just press enter to prevent the file checking and it'll load onto desktop. Which was what I did. Something was wrong obviously as Windows couldn't load normally but I was too lazy (and poor) to bring the lappie down for repair. Then one fine day, I allowed the comp to run during the night (cos I was d/loading some stuff) and it downloaded some update thingy from microsoft, restarted itself and all these happened overnight and voila...no more blue screen after that, windows can load naturally and my burning program is working again! Good thing I didn't bring the lappy for repair...hehe. I must have been using outdated stuff. That probably caused the problems.

Enough of the techie talk...my week was good. As in I can go home on average 630pm everyday, the manager assigned me tasks to do but he never really cared about me after that. I was simply left to my own devices and kinda OTOT...lol...but of course good things have to come to an end. I am left on my own so therefore I'm not sure if I'm doing what he wants...hopefully. My good life is attributed to the fact that the client wasn't free to entertain our field visit. However, the client will be FREE come Tuesday and to my horror, the manager mentioned that he wants to review on Wednesday. I almost had a heart failure and then he told me it was to clear the 2005 outstanding matters. *Blink* I will die if I have to finish the entire 2006 audit in one day considering this is not exactly a small entity. But to follow up on 2005 stuff? Urgh. Oh well anyway...I should be grateful still for this week of rest. Another 23 days more!

wants a glam job

Saw a familiar face when I flipped through March's issue of Cleo. No, no, not the 50 eligible bachelors although I noticed that there was this one guy from my jc. I was looking at the snapshots section of the Cleo team and saw this girl who was from my secondary school and later on, same jc. She was from my senior class in jc and she was my angel when we played the angel-mortal game during orientation. That was how I got to know her and....she's now the SENIOR FEATURES WRITER for Cleo. Well I think that's so cool loh. To bag a job in a fashion magazine. That used to be my dream job....haha. Ever since the longest of time before I entered uni, I wanted to be a journalist or to write for a fashion mag. Despite the tight deadlines for publications, I still believe it's a pretty glam job. At least you are writing for something you actually have a passion and interest in....not like some shit I am writing now. Just write in a way that won't invite more questions from the top.

Sighhhhhhhhh... yah yah don't ask me why what I am doing with my life. It is too late (?). What was I thinking when I was filling up my uni application? Lol. Too bad. Move on...

xin nian kuai le

I've got work to do which I actually planned to get it out of the way during cny eve so I can enjoy my cny proper. But no, I decided I really don't give a damn and that between sleep and turning on the IBM, I took the former and had a good 3 hours plus nap this afternoon. Lovely...and I dreamt I was in Taipei, oh well...

No bitchings in this entry. It's CNY after all so happy CNY yah and enjoy the well deserved break.

Pure brat (pun intended)

The only redeeming thing about my current job is the client. As in the people in the company, not the job itself per say as it is a shitty job by nature. Even the accountant that the pure brat loathes is rather bearable as compared to the pure brat (bred).

To the Pure Brat:

You are of the same rank as me and the basic thing you could show me is courtesy or some form of respect. But you don't. You speak to me in a commanding tone and you keep repeating questions about things I have already asked the client but they are still pending (and I told you that already!). Just once is enough. Thank you. You want me to do things which are impractical and we end up just wasting time. And the list goes on.......Wtf. Who the hell do you think you are? I understand you are stressed and I try to see it from your point of view...I try to be accomodating but you are truly testing my patience. I only started on that entity proper on Monday and you are asking me what I have finished today when that shit entity is not easy to do in the first place. Furthermore I had to leave to meet the partner in the afternoon. This year one assistant thinks you are a very PR person but from the way that you are pissing off the client and pissing your fellow team mate, that's not PR, that's ZERO EQ. Arghhhh I really dread seeing you again tomorrow and Friday after which I am thankful that you'll vanish from my sight till the next Friday.

The job is shitty enough already with a shitty manager too who gets frustrated easily...plus a pure brat to ruffle my feathers. !@#

I am so determined to get out of this job. Even if I can't....I rather work with another team on the same job. The people seemed much nicer and friendlier than this pure brat. Of course not not all pure breds are brats. So far the people I met have been nice. I'm just unlucky to meet one, in my biggest job no less and in the SAME team. Sigh sigh.

Sucky V-day.

the non-existent birthday and v-day

I can foresee that next week will be the saddest week, in February that is cos I have no idea how many sad weeks there are to come. Anyway next week is different due to 2 special consecutive dates one of which is inapplicable to me...but still....why am I meeting the partner on V-day?! Sigh...okay next up, the non-existent b-day which I am very sure I'll be buried in work on that day considering the fact that the 'hot date' with the retiring partner is on the next day. By hook or crook, I will still attempt to wriggle out slightly earlier on Tuesday. I will try my darnest to keep this as low profile as possible as who the hell would give a f*** about the b-day with all the pressing deadlines and shit work. Besides I am a new joinee to the team and I don't wish to appear AA...we are not that close anyway. Okay no one cares and I don't want them to care but can I just leave earlier on Tuesday? :(

So CNY is just round the corner but it seems like centuries away. Sigh I guess I really don't like this job.

offcially broke

I am officially broke from too much clothes-buying and I really dread to see the cc bill this month. In fact, haven't cleared the one from January. :x

But I don't feel as if I have done much cny clothes-buying. The stuff I bought are either working clothes OR clothes that my mom totally forbids me to wear during cny. Not that it's any flashy, bareall stuff...she just thinks they are inappropriate. Hmm. Aiyah cny is just another day...

Time for marathon drama watching.

getting electrocuted

I believe I got electrocuted by my lappy when I lifted the lid. It was this weird tingling sensation and unsure of what it was, I poked my index finger at the latch area again and this time the sensation was much stronger. I withdrew my finger in a hurry (of course)....okay my finger was kinda damp cos fresh out of shower...I'm basically just asking for it.

I think I am obsessed with work cos I dreamt of it for the last 2 nights. Obsessed not as in the I-love-to-work kinda attitude, more like I am swamped with it and I dunno quite how else to handle it partly cos of the back-to-back booking with one tight deadline job wedged in the middle of a big shitty job. What the hell, I'm just looking forward to CNY (if there is one). To be fair, things ain't that bad AS YET..I have encountered worse shit in my short employment history. Okay I'm going to enjoy what's left of my weeknd now. :)

Cheers.

lazy sunday

I slept quite a fair bit over this weekend. Although it was plagued with ridiculous nightmares but I shall not go into that. The reason why I choose to rest is cos I'll be going for my biggest job of the peak starting from next week. Urgh. I foresee no rest after that so might as well....it is good to just lie on the bed and have a good eye shut. Isn't it so? First weekend I don't have to do any work and possibly the last. It was a good 1.5 weeks minus the lousy senior...I say well if every job is like my first peak job, this peak would be good. But then again, good things are by far few...haha so....I'll just hang in there and countdown to May then.

when the going gets tough the tough really goes shopping

I got meself a red purse/wallet yesterday...hehehe..the current one was bursting and didn't have enough slots for cards (not that I have many cards but more of random shit like Topshop/Joop/or any other nonsense that gives discounts or vouchers after n number of purchases, you get my pt). I am not really obsessed with red, it's not bright red, kinda like dark red/maroon kind of feel.

Anyway I have exceeded my expenses, thoroughly burst my budget, if there is one in the first place....and I haven't bought a single piece of CNY clothing yet. I figured I better start hunting for clothes now since I foresee myself peaking/dying in the next few weeks. Ended up adding more clothes to the work wear department. I try my darnest to differentiate between work wear and going-out wear as somehow work wear feels like a uniform haha and I feel sucky wearing the same old thing I wear to work during weekends. Sigh. No nice CNY casual-doesn't-look-like-work-wear clothes leh. The few stores that I always go to are still on Autumn/Winter sale meaning the Spring/Summer 2007 collection is still by far, few and miserable. I guess I'll have to try my luck in the next few weeks' to come and AFTER payday before I make myself bankrupt by making advances. Even if i'm dying...well let's see. The future is unpredictable.

Then you call my name and I know inside that I love you

Probably a line to a song from 7 years back. Can't remember. But it echoes the feelings of a seventeen year old girl back in the year 2000. Revived her online diary from 7 years back and browsed through a few entries. Feeling a little nostalgic and well, a little sad. In any case it is just a teenger's senseless problems and ramblings, nothing compared to the real shit in the real world. But given a choice, I would rather stay in fantasyland.

Gonna drag myself out and do a little shopping. Another line from the online diary, when the going gets tough the tough goes shopping. But the tough needs moolah.

the overdue 2006 entry

Here is the long over-due 2006 entry.

I'm not that lazy nor unmotivated k...I already wrote out the entry in my book diary and am now transferring the paraphrased excerpts here. I penned the entry on the 2nd day of the new year and here goes.

Evidence of how little I wrote in my book diary. 10 pathetic entries for the whole of 2006 and the bulk of it was on my sad work life. Roundup of 2006...I think it was pretty crappy and boring so to speak judging from my 10 boring entries for the year.

I believe the whole of 06 revolves on how much I wanted to get out of the previous firm and move on to other (browner) pastures.

Jan-March 06 was holed up in this big job and slept an average of 3-4 hours per day. The job wasn't difficult but the staying up was. Teared in cab rides home but forged great friendship with the team.

I started to whack the job market as early as April 2006, immediately after the HK trip. Went for my first interview of the year and wasn't shortlisted cos I probably asked the wrong questions. I.e Career progression when clearly there was none.

July 2006. Taiwan trip with joyce. Enjoyed myself despite the sweltering summer heat. Fantastic food+shopping+harrowing experience on Jetstar.

August 2006. Back to the same job that took up my first quarter of the year. Ewwww. Didn't stay as late this time round cos I brought back work to do. Anyway I was already treating it as my farewell job as plans to leave were more or less finalized. However in the same month, I missed a call for interview and blamed it on my extreme bad luck. But another opportunity came knocking and I left my first job in Sept 2006. That was the beginning of my greatest nightmare which shall not be named. And well the rest of the story are documented in past entries so I shall not delve more into them. This is a part of history that I would like to leave buried and forgotten.

A few have told me that if I can survive 1 year++ in first firm, I probably can survive in others. But since I almost died-ed in one, nothing's for sure. Armed with a dented confidence that would take some time to recover, I embark on my 2007.

No, no resolutions. I am lying. Okay does resoluting to go to Seoul in 2007 count?

1st post of 2007

My new year's eve was rather unhappening. Maybe I should have just stayed home and watch the Taipei countdown instead.

In my attempt to join in the crowd at the over-hyped the cannery....okay basically I wanted to check out the kandibar cos I was attracted by the deco and reviews but it was fully reserved. Silly me. Didn't want to sit at the window bar table and ended up at MOS instead. Big, big mistake since the music stinks big time irregardless of what room. Didn't get high, wasn't even artificially high and that was how I spent my 2007 with lousy music minus the fireworks. I should have been outside. Now come to think of it, when I walked past kandibar and heard the music blaring from outside, it seems like the same trancey sort they have in mos yikesss....the clinic was just as sucky.

Then I couldn't get a cab back at 4 plus in the morning despite walking up and down and getting into some NR, dropping off somewhere and still couldn't get a cab. Ended up at an all night Hong Kong style cafeteria to have an early breakfast. Stupid cafe tried to overcharge us by 30 dollars by making us pick the tab of another table's. We may be 3 sleepy auditors but we aren't blind as yet. Hence reached home at 6 plus, dropped dead at 7...woke up at 12 noon and was feeling crappy the whole day. But the afternoon's nap later on cleared things up abit and I was able to get some work done in the evening.

I know I mentioned about some reflective entry in the previous entry but well I'm lazy and I'm not in a very reflective mood at the moment. Maybe some other day since it is already overdue so what the heck.