depressed

My first bout of depression after so long....or rather the second one of the year. I remembered I was pretty depressed immediately after returning from Taipei that made me wanna call it quits. Well this second round of depression ain't any far off from the first. In fact, they are related.

I hate solo jobs.

I rather there's one more person on it besides me so that I won't just totally sink and drown alone. And the feeling really suck, especially if your client took leave, TB wasn't ready when the client returns and when the TB is finally ready, the beginning retained earnings DON'T TIE but the client has already gone back home. All these in the space of 2 days and I only have 3 fucking days to complete the audit PLUS the bloody financial statements. Not to mention there is TAX involved, something I have forgotten/never attempted and no one around to guide. I am at a loss really and behaving like a complete zombie for the whole of today. I am feeling so goddamn helpless to the point that I am stoning and staring off into thin air if I am left on my own. I know full well there is no way I can finish, I don't know what to do about it....I just want to die.

That is precisely why I am very sure I can't survive as a senior. Too much responsibilities involved with too many bosses and jobs to answer to.

The above encompasses much of my misery and the second bit is related to what I mentioned in the first para. My counselling manager has quit. No one's gonna be around to ensure that the shit will be removed from my schedule. On the contrary, pure brat managed to pull it off. That job has totally vanished from her schedule and replaced with banks and funds. Well, maybe the top favors pure breds and listen to their requests. And midstreamers are merely people they think they can cajole and con easily?

I am going to die on Monday.

expiring

First day back at work and I got thrown into the deep end, well more bottomless whirlpools whatsoever to come. I was booked on OA, the secretary was on leave, I was happily shaking my legs till I saw something red on my schedule. Yeah, literally saw red and was dragged down to clear shit for a securities firm. For someone who has no idea what the hell is CRR and PRR, I thought killing myself was the surest and fastest way to save myself. The AM couldn't be bothered to go into details as he was rushing for time. Merely gave me an overview of where to look for what and I started to plough through the figures myself. It was just blind tying of figures and when I had to talk to the client, my questions were mostly short and vague so as not to show my complete ignorance. Yeah what a way to start a new work week after two weeks of brain malfunction. Yes, my soul is still in Seoul.

Besides the shitty work bit, a piece of not-so-good news greeted (shocked) me which perhaps reaffirms my expiring shelf life. Sigh

Mawang-ing

The Devil is totally freaking me out. I'm wondering if I should continue with one more episode or maybe half of an episode. Really should try to sleep earlier today as I came back kind of late last night and also tomorrow, WORK. Sigh. Never mind, shall try to endure a few months more and we'll see again.

But must admit, The Devil is really quite good as a suspense thriller and that humans are really the scariest of all creatures.

Project Korea accomplished

My body clock is screwed. Woke up at 8:30 am today which was a sin since I am still on leave and haven't had a good rest for the past 8 days. Maybe too used to waking up on the dot for fear of being late. And to clarify on something, I am not exactly a light sleeper, I can sleep past thunder storms and what not. I am just not used to morning calls imposed by package tours and hence as a result, the body subconsciously forces itself to wake up unnaturally. Sigh.

Despite everything, I love Korea.

Wanted to nap in the afternoon but ended up surfing randomly at forums and watching video clips and to my dui-ness, I read that my favourite korean boy (Se7en) was back in Seoul from the US the very same week I was there. Argh! Else I could have kept my eyes peeled at every corner in the city of Seoul. Haha. Ignore my fangirl nonsense please.

Anyway, take a look below at where most of my money went into:

A grand total of 26 masks and other random things


As compared to what I bought in Taipei in March


I have gone all crazy with Korean cosmetics. As what Joyce aptly puts it, we are indeed very bad influence on each other. ;)

And these are not all.

Earrings! Pardon the lousy shot, can't use flash as the earrings reflect light


Plus shoes, clothes, food....I really have to eat grass for the next few months. Who cares about the upcoming GSS? I have no motivation to shop locally anymore. But I do have to splurge on pre-ordering the last HP book fast before the 7% GST hits (being the kiasu s'porean...)!

Checked my office mail this morning, no bombs no nothing for the past week which is good. I shall enjoy the slacking for the rest of this week. I don't want to go back to work.

Korea!

Joyce has alot of things to remember for Korea trip. Uh, I'll try to remember the Goong bears? But I bet they'll be so expensive! And I don't want to fit in too many bears, they can't be compressed can they? lol.

Till then.

spideyyy

Flying in about 22 hours' time and I haven't packed a single thing into my luggage. Yeah I have about a day's time so what the heck, cept I haven't deducted the sleeping hours. Minus off the time spent procrastinating as well as pondering what to bring. I really don't have much time. Argh I hate packing. I wish I'm Harry Potter, then with a swish of my wand, everything will fly into the suit case and be PACKED automatically. And I hate late night flights too. But then again, I'll be in Korea come Monday morning.So.......finally....my long awaited Seoul 2007 plan. :)

Anyway, just came back from Spidey. I think Tobey McGuire has grown fat, even looks abit on the 'uncle' side. LoL. I don't hope for a Spidey 4 cos my handsome misunderstood villain is dead. Oh well. It's your normal action-packed, superhero movie and Spidey 3 still lived up to that IMO. I don't think I'll ever get tired of superhero movies...yeah just throw in the cute guys. ;)

It's time for bed. I will try to pack as fast as possible tomorrow today, I promise.

Retribution

Retribution is a stupid horror flick. Please don't watch it if you have a choice. Or if you don't, just save the $8/$9.

Okay, we had a choice yesterday and it was alternating between Eternal Summer and Retribution. Eternal Summer is this taiwanese arty farty drama about gays and it has supposedly won/nominated for some awards but somehow we choose horror over gays art. And it sucks. And that female ghost's screech is way too piercing..think fingernails on a chalkboard. I would write it off as a totally pointless movie. Or maybe Hills have eyes 2 would be a better choice for a horror feast but I wasn't in a blood and gore mood.

It has been such a long drough of nil movies for me and I have to break the dry spell with a stupid film. Why not Spiderman 3? Because Spiderman 3 is freaking not available till today and I'm not supposed to watch it as I'm watching it this coming weekend.

Anyway for the last two nights, I have been plagued with nightmares once again. I don't know it is always the case, the week before my leave, it has to be fucking unbearable with loads of undue stress thrown in, which explains my disturbed state of mind.