double shit

Shit job + Shit senior = Double Shit

Well I wasn't directly under her as in I wasn't in her team. Then my senior released me to assist her as there was not much to be done for my entity and my 2 seniors were clearing high level points. Turns out to be a complete nightmare. I expected it....seeing how the shit senior drove a year one assistant to tears. And she can happily admit that she knows people don't enjoy working under her. Argh, whatever it is, nothing pleases the shit senior. Her expectations are sky high and her sarcasm drips all over the place. Demanding, unreasonable, vague instructions....perfect combi for disaster to strike. Which happened on my last day on the job and just when I was about to pack my stuff and leave....the shit senior turned vile on me. Now I just want to forget the whole incident, forget her condescending look......

Finally I can be back to civilization tomorrow.

the brightest vs the less abled

I don't usually get worked up over newspaper reports and neither do I feel incensed to the point of blogging about it and possibly get into trouble.

But with all due respect, I am not going to list exactly which report I am referring to. But my basic points are, I am not disagreeing on the part about differentiating pay packages for the academically inclined (as with the case in public sectors). However, pay increments subsequently should still be based on performance as grades can be the starting point but should not determine anything thereafter. What I am ruffled with is the statement '..where the brightest ______ work in other sectors and are, in turn, ______ by their less able counterparts." I was like HELLO, not getting first class honours doesn't deem the person any less able. Okay there is a word 'may' before this statement but it still doesn't make things sound better if you know what I mean.

Talent drain in this particular industry may not only be attributed to the starting pay question. There are things to look into besides that (which I am not going to go into)....anyway there are quite a handful of first class hons peeps slogging away in this particular profession (despite the one pay fits all thingy) and they are doing fine (well some are). And my friend just made a very good point and reversed the above statement, " the brightest ______ may not always be the brightest and at times, their mess has to be sorted out by their less able counterparts." Which I totally agree.

finality

It will take a major asteroid crash to change my mind. Yes, probably the size of the same one thought to have wiped out the dinosaurs 65 million years ago and left a 180 kilometre crater in the Yucatan peninsula in Mexico.

Sorry but no details this time round.

I just need an outlet to fume.

It is over the slightest of things that became mission impossible and made me wanna throw in the towel. And I had enough of everything. My limit has been reached and I am taking this no more.

Wanted to whine in the book diary about this but I'm simply too lazy to pick up a pen.

i hate extraordinary surprises

Urgh. Just one more day to the weekend and client has to pass this extraordinary adjustment that would require more work. #$@

I have to rush to blockkkk my schedule before new jobs start popping up. This 2 week thing has already taken its toil and there are 2 weeks more to go!

dammit

My time sheet/expense claims just got REJECTED. For god knows what reason for I only saw the rejection via email and I obviously have no time to go back office to find out what's wrong. If I can't claim those miserable expenses in exchange for all my stress/emotional torture, I am going to faint.

This is so pissing for my mood has turned for the better in the evening for it to be down in the doldrums again.

on autopilot once more

I have been in a trance-like state for most part of last week and of course, Monday as well. It was no honeymoon as after the first week of induction/training, I was thrown full scale into the firm's biggest job which I rather not do, thank you. It would be nice to try it out first on an at least moderate sized job....just to get the feel of things. Unfortunately I have no such luxury and I don't think there is any learning curve here. It is either you know or you don't and just feel dumb. I feel as if I am on auto-pilot once more...this same feeling I had about a couple of months ago when I was doing that six month thingy in the previous firm. Going on auto-pilot blocks out the stress temporarily but the shock is acute when things screw up. Like they always do while I frantically dug through my CYAs to provide an answer to the senior.

I like to think that I am a liability to the team being new and all and having not done an entity of this size before. The grass is not always greener on the other side and I never felt that it'll be any greener here. The basic welfare is there alrite with the generous claimings and stuff but the stress and feeling of inept, I guess this happens everywhere as it is job specific. Am I lucky or just plain unlucky? Impressive portfolio? Nah..not when one is stuck on the same shit for the whole year.

hazy

What I hope for....a nice heavy downpour that would wash the stench and haze away. A nice heavy downpour that would keep me snug and warm in bed till late Sunday morning. However, despite the less than pleasing reality, what with the haze and humidity and it doesn't look like it is going to pour, I am still holding on to my precious weekend moments for I am a wuss and I am not looking forward to Monday. Sigh.

e-based learning is sucky

I never knew doing e-based learning could be such a chore. For it used to be a leisure pastime when one is unassigned. Now I am rushing to complete 8 (total: 10) different e-based quizzes with questions that are reshuffled and new ones popped up whenever a 2nd/3rd/4th and so forth attempt is initiated. So it is pointless to try to obtain model answers nor try to seek assistance from fellow colleague as no one knows which answers are right unless one aced it and seen most of the variations.

Anyway I am proud to announce. After much struggling and using up most of my personal time I have cleared all six modules of an irritating core material and am now left with two irritating little quizzes that I shall get it done and over with tomorrow so that I can go meet up with my beloved ex-colleagues. I realise how much I miss them! In fact I even miss my previous firm...bah! I can't believe these words are coming out of my mouth.

I wonder why I took back my laptop today when I ain't even got the energy now to attempt anything inside.

Rounding up

A glimpse into some of things that happened during the last two weeks.



Farewell dinner at japanese restaurant.



Official last (half) day in office.



One week later, I decided to pay a visit to my college at its new campus.



The canteen. Somehow it reminds me of NTU's canteen B.



The academic blocks look secondary school-ish. It now goes by alphabets.



The tennis courts on the third level.



On the other side of the river is the secondary school.



Last but not least, two of my lovely literature teachers.

So there it is, revisiting two closed chapters of my life. I don't usually do this, in fact never, about posting pictures up on the blog. Due to a horrific experience some years ago (and I never want to bring it up ever again), I ditched blogging for a while and even when I resumed, I choose to be fiercely private. As it is, very few people knew about this blog and I would like to maintain it this way so I can be open with my thoughts. Of course I have no control over the flow of internet traffic but I hate to abandon writing just cos of this. Haa..well partly due to the electronic age, I have increasingly grown lazy about updating in my book diary.

And dammit, the month of September is truly over.

Broke like shit

I just had a $30 per pax Chinese dinner today. We thought it would divide out nicely to around $25 per person but it turned out to be $30!!! That is very material to me considering my still unemployed status. I think I have to ban myself from dining at restaurants and shopping for the next one month. Not that I shopped alot actually in fact did I even shop at all? The money mostly goes on food I guess. Argh. And I had a $24 dinner cum dessert yesterday. This is very bad.

Was trying to get into maplestory for whole of yesterday because the server was bloody down. It was revived today but I had already stupidly deleted the program because I thought my game client was outdated. And it is taking mighty long to retrieve the stupid client! Arghhhhh.....anyway whacking mushrooms and monsters keep me at home and save me money.

My days of freedom are coming to an end. Sigh. Goodbye life, hello reality.

Singapore Idol - Hady

One would have thought somebody scored a goal in a soccer match when my block population gave a victorious roar. However it turned out to be the crowning of Singapore Idol - Hady Mirza. I was in the shower actually. That shows how much I bothered about the results although I did have a secret desire to see Jonathan Leong win instead. That aside, Hady does have the better vocals and well, arguably looks. I said arguably cos my friends were indeed arguing about this last weekend. Lol.

Congratulations though.

Itchy throat and what-not

I have been nursing an itchy throat since this morning. Now this is no good. Not a good time to fall sick on my last week of liberation.

Anyway I have been procrastinating the whole day and only got down to preparing standard answers for the standard interview questions tomorrow. Well they will have to ask those usual few questions and the unexpected ones I will just have to smoke my way through. I didn't even prepare for the last, recent interview. Just read through some samples and fell asleep with my notes. Hee. But since I am slacking away now and have the time, I shall try to be impressive tomorrow. Minus the itchy throat. Eeeks.

Who knows...I might opt for work-life balance over something else.

Life as a slacker

My first week of unemployment is a slow blurry mess of unimportant stuff but at least I believe I would be doing something meaningful tomorrow and which is to visit my alma mater - my junior college! The place where most of my memories strangely are despite spending 4 years in secondary and 3 years in university and only 2 years in JC. Things like my first serious crush (whom I still fondly remember), my favourite tutors, my favourite subject (History) and where I always seemed to have the time to rush down to Orchard for movies and shopping after classes. Yeah you know the good old days. Unfortunately the campus has shifted and I will be making my way with another friend to the other part of Singapore tomorrow. But what the heck, this kinda of stuff one can only do when one has the time. :)

Okay so what happened in this week.

Monday - I wanted to go the the hair salon but I slacked and slept my day away.

Tuesday - Finally dragged my ass down to the salon and sat for three hours while minimal things were done to my hair.

Wednesday - Went Orchard (again! been there for like 5-6 times already consectively!) and it was a total lacklustre attitude as we browsed shops and yawned like mad. Is it time to hit Suntec and Marina now tha the IMF is officially over?

Thursday (today) - Went for first round of an interview. Ya ya...I know I already got and accepted an offer but this doesn't mean my options are closed right? Besides I am so bored and going for an interview means there is something to occupy my time and it's for the experience. Who knows this might be a better alternative? :) I am scared of retribution too having rejected an interview with a well-known MNC recently.....yeah since now I have the time, there is no harm really in attending.

Friday - Return-to-seek-my-roots day! It is rather disturbing that my tutor isn't replying to my emails. It will be so sad not to see her tomorrow!

The weekends as of now are unplanned for. Three days are taken up next week with meet-ups and the 2nd round interview. Then it will ALL BE OVER! Damn. Life as a slacker still has its perks although it has no monetary value.

Seoul 2007

All the korea tour packages are fully booked! Argh. Well almost all. Of all the agencies that we scouted yesterday, only two had groups available on certain days next week but the two are 6 day packages which means no Jeju. Korea without Jeju just seems incomplete especially for a first-time visitor. What to do? We were indeed last minute and korean packages are so bloody hot. They had vacancies for countries like Australia, Japan but NOT Korea. And all other places we aren't particularly interested in. I have been to Hong Kong and Taiwan this year so these two convenient nearby spots are out too.

So this is it. No Seoul 2006 but plans for Seoul 2007 is definitely underway. It is good too. I save money.....considering that I am unemployed now.

I will just slack myself to death for the next two weeks.

sinful thoughts

I am extremely tempted to go somewhere next week. How sinful. Especially after blowing quite a material sum on a tote recently, a cellphone in the previous month and not to mention the taipei trip two months ago. At this rate, I am going to have to declare bankruptcy very soon haha. Yeah since I am now like twelve hours to unemployment. Hooray.

My mind is transfixed on this only place that I swear I have to visit before any other location comes into the picture. Yes but the $$$ issue, sigh. Should I just lock myself up for the next two weeks or pack myself off to Genting just cos I can pretend I am in some temperate country?

Had a hearty Japanese dinner with soon-to-be ex-colleagues earlier. Was quite worth it as the bill was split amongst some 11 over people and there was quite a fair bit of sashimi. Yummy. Crazy photo-taking followed after with much laughter. Unfortunately the group was incomplete due to some people not being able to make it. Well guess I have to try to grab them during lunch tomorrow for more photo session!

Gonna turn in now. So sleepy...my battery needs to be replaced.

all part of the game

To satisfy my insatiable thirst, I did something today that I thought I would never do. Or come to think of it, should I have done it earlier? Would it have make a difference?

The response I got was quite expected but at least finally, I got a reply. That beats sitting around and wallowing in self-pity. Some things are just meant to be but I am glad I did it today.

Rewind to November 2005. If I had done it then, things might be very, very different today. However I would have missed out on alot of things too like the great friends I made throughout my brief one year plus. So yeah you win some, you lose some although I am more towards the losing end. Haha.

So it's Friday tomorrow! Woohoo....

can't let go

Despite everything, I am still very sore about it. My friend remarked that if she were me she would have just go bang into the wall and die. Not very worth it but I guess it is just a very human thing to feel SORE about it. Argh. I need to move on....I need to get over it....I need to give myself two tight slaps.

What would you do if you won the big Sweep?

This place reeks of pessimism and well it stinks of depression too. To brighten things up a little (since I have tendered blah...and the world seems sunnier and warmer), let's do a stomp thing too. Courtesy from of course stomp although I am not a star blogger and will never be but anyway just a convenient topic lifted to discuss. So here goes..What would you do if you won the big Sweep? Think $2 mil.

Firstly, $2 mil can be gone in the blink of an eye if I were to purchase, let's say, a house. I am not really up to date with property prices but I am very sure $2 mil can be splurged easily on properties. But I am not interested in getting a house cos I am perfectly happy in my sty and buying properties for investment aside...what will I do? Like what I always wanted, if I suddenly get a windfall, I'll pack myself off to Europe for a month. After which the next destination would be Seoul....probably will spend a fortnight there. That means I'll probably be gone for about 1.5 months.

Having returned home happy and contented and still left with quite a fair bit of moolah, I will pay off my university fees, give my parents a healthy amount for them to save, invest whatsoever, some to charity and the remaining...ta daaaah will go into my retirement plan. As in part of the retirement plan. Which is the farming plan. :) Always wanted to be a farmer ever since I saw plots of land for sale at Queensland, Australia when I was there 4 years ago. Heard land ain't that expensive in Ozzieland and if I still have enough cash, I'll buy myself a piece of land! Currently I feel like cultivating a vineyard but in any case, the land first. Hopefully in time to come, I will be able to build a farm house as well and grow my grapes and rear my dogs. Ha how heavenly.....away from the disgusting city life. I am still pretty much a city girl but somehow the thought of a laid back farm life, it is just too enticing. I am just lazy in that sense too although I probably need hard work with the cultivation of the crops. Ha. BUT it is a different sort of effort yah as I will be working with nature instead of killing my brain cells. Sigh how I long for that.

After all that crap above, it is time to NOT wake up and go to bed as my head is really feeling gooey right now. So that's all for now. Goodnight. :)

Moving on

Last week was, well, quite interesting as where I last left off. For the first time, there is hope. I have choices now. However time is not really on my side as I have to decide soon and it is for the better or worse.

If luck hasn't spurn me in early August, I guess I could have been at a slightly better place already. However as luck would not have me, I have to seek alternatives.

Well I just want a place that I can breathe and work in, get my experience and move on.

So that is about it, more or less decided and shall I say, prepared to face the music come Monday. Sigh.

shortchanged

I feel so shortchanged.

My efforts don't get recognised is one thing. Screwing up the B and giving me less than what I officially deserve (as stated in black and white) is even more fucked up.

I believe I was behaving like a bitch towards my senior for the whole of last week over the slightest things. Firstly I was pms-y, secondly I disagree with some of the things that I had to do, on the whole I was just extremely touche. I felt apologetic but what the heck, whatever efforts I put in won't be appreciated in the end anyway. Nothing matters anymore.

Next week would be an interesting week.