depressed

My first bout of depression after so long....or rather the second one of the year. I remembered I was pretty depressed immediately after returning from Taipei that made me wanna call it quits. Well this second round of depression ain't any far off from the first. In fact, they are related.

I hate solo jobs.

I rather there's one more person on it besides me so that I won't just totally sink and drown alone. And the feeling really suck, especially if your client took leave, TB wasn't ready when the client returns and when the TB is finally ready, the beginning retained earnings DON'T TIE but the client has already gone back home. All these in the space of 2 days and I only have 3 fucking days to complete the audit PLUS the bloody financial statements. Not to mention there is TAX involved, something I have forgotten/never attempted and no one around to guide. I am at a loss really and behaving like a complete zombie for the whole of today. I am feeling so goddamn helpless to the point that I am stoning and staring off into thin air if I am left on my own. I know full well there is no way I can finish, I don't know what to do about it....I just want to die.

That is precisely why I am very sure I can't survive as a senior. Too much responsibilities involved with too many bosses and jobs to answer to.

The above encompasses much of my misery and the second bit is related to what I mentioned in the first para. My counselling manager has quit. No one's gonna be around to ensure that the shit will be removed from my schedule. On the contrary, pure brat managed to pull it off. That job has totally vanished from her schedule and replaced with banks and funds. Well, maybe the top favors pure breds and listen to their requests. And midstreamers are merely people they think they can cajole and con easily?

I am going to die on Monday.

expiring

First day back at work and I got thrown into the deep end, well more bottomless whirlpools whatsoever to come. I was booked on OA, the secretary was on leave, I was happily shaking my legs till I saw something red on my schedule. Yeah, literally saw red and was dragged down to clear shit for a securities firm. For someone who has no idea what the hell is CRR and PRR, I thought killing myself was the surest and fastest way to save myself. The AM couldn't be bothered to go into details as he was rushing for time. Merely gave me an overview of where to look for what and I started to plough through the figures myself. It was just blind tying of figures and when I had to talk to the client, my questions were mostly short and vague so as not to show my complete ignorance. Yeah what a way to start a new work week after two weeks of brain malfunction. Yes, my soul is still in Seoul.

Besides the shitty work bit, a piece of not-so-good news greeted (shocked) me which perhaps reaffirms my expiring shelf life. Sigh

Mawang-ing

The Devil is totally freaking me out. I'm wondering if I should continue with one more episode or maybe half of an episode. Really should try to sleep earlier today as I came back kind of late last night and also tomorrow, WORK. Sigh. Never mind, shall try to endure a few months more and we'll see again.

But must admit, The Devil is really quite good as a suspense thriller and that humans are really the scariest of all creatures.

Project Korea accomplished

My body clock is screwed. Woke up at 8:30 am today which was a sin since I am still on leave and haven't had a good rest for the past 8 days. Maybe too used to waking up on the dot for fear of being late. And to clarify on something, I am not exactly a light sleeper, I can sleep past thunder storms and what not. I am just not used to morning calls imposed by package tours and hence as a result, the body subconsciously forces itself to wake up unnaturally. Sigh.

Despite everything, I love Korea.

Wanted to nap in the afternoon but ended up surfing randomly at forums and watching video clips and to my dui-ness, I read that my favourite korean boy (Se7en) was back in Seoul from the US the very same week I was there. Argh! Else I could have kept my eyes peeled at every corner in the city of Seoul. Haha. Ignore my fangirl nonsense please.

Anyway, take a look below at where most of my money went into:

A grand total of 26 masks and other random things


As compared to what I bought in Taipei in March


I have gone all crazy with Korean cosmetics. As what Joyce aptly puts it, we are indeed very bad influence on each other. ;)

And these are not all.

Earrings! Pardon the lousy shot, can't use flash as the earrings reflect light


Plus shoes, clothes, food....I really have to eat grass for the next few months. Who cares about the upcoming GSS? I have no motivation to shop locally anymore. But I do have to splurge on pre-ordering the last HP book fast before the 7% GST hits (being the kiasu s'porean...)!

Checked my office mail this morning, no bombs no nothing for the past week which is good. I shall enjoy the slacking for the rest of this week. I don't want to go back to work.

Korea!

Joyce has alot of things to remember for Korea trip. Uh, I'll try to remember the Goong bears? But I bet they'll be so expensive! And I don't want to fit in too many bears, they can't be compressed can they? lol.

Till then.

spideyyy

Flying in about 22 hours' time and I haven't packed a single thing into my luggage. Yeah I have about a day's time so what the heck, cept I haven't deducted the sleeping hours. Minus off the time spent procrastinating as well as pondering what to bring. I really don't have much time. Argh I hate packing. I wish I'm Harry Potter, then with a swish of my wand, everything will fly into the suit case and be PACKED automatically. And I hate late night flights too. But then again, I'll be in Korea come Monday morning.So.......finally....my long awaited Seoul 2007 plan. :)

Anyway, just came back from Spidey. I think Tobey McGuire has grown fat, even looks abit on the 'uncle' side. LoL. I don't hope for a Spidey 4 cos my handsome misunderstood villain is dead. Oh well. It's your normal action-packed, superhero movie and Spidey 3 still lived up to that IMO. I don't think I'll ever get tired of superhero movies...yeah just throw in the cute guys. ;)

It's time for bed. I will try to pack as fast as possible tomorrow today, I promise.

Retribution

Retribution is a stupid horror flick. Please don't watch it if you have a choice. Or if you don't, just save the $8/$9.

Okay, we had a choice yesterday and it was alternating between Eternal Summer and Retribution. Eternal Summer is this taiwanese arty farty drama about gays and it has supposedly won/nominated for some awards but somehow we choose horror over gays art. And it sucks. And that female ghost's screech is way too piercing..think fingernails on a chalkboard. I would write it off as a totally pointless movie. Or maybe Hills have eyes 2 would be a better choice for a horror feast but I wasn't in a blood and gore mood.

It has been such a long drough of nil movies for me and I have to break the dry spell with a stupid film. Why not Spiderman 3? Because Spiderman 3 is freaking not available till today and I'm not supposed to watch it as I'm watching it this coming weekend.

Anyway for the last two nights, I have been plagued with nightmares once again. I don't know it is always the case, the week before my leave, it has to be fucking unbearable with loads of undue stress thrown in, which explains my disturbed state of mind.

Majolica Majorca

You have heard about birkenstock sprees. Well, there are all kinds of online sprees but now, there is the Majolica Majorca spree. Yes, you heard it, for those who know, one line of Shiseido's product and per the website, supposedly available only in Japan. That is wrong, it is not only available and sold exclusively in Japan, in fact it is available at most Watsons' in Taipei (I don't know why the 101 Watson don't sell MM stuff....but the XMD one has plenty).

The prices published on the above site are definitely more expensive than the prices in Taipei. Let's just take a look at the Majolook Illuminator. It costs SGD22.90 but if you get it in Taipei, it's NT330 which roughly translates to about SGD15. Haha but of course, you need to travel to Taiwan to get it at that kinda price which basically is going to cost more than a mere 8 bucks difference. But in return, you get the happiness and satisfaction just to get away from SG. I love Taipei. :) And I stocked up on my MM stuff, 2 palates of the Majolook Illuminator, 1 Majolica skin remaker, 1 blusher, 1 lipgloss as well as a pricessy container for the skin remaker.

We should hint hint for the Watson's in SG to bring in MM cosmetics too.

I still can't bear to use my MM stuff......

frivolous entry

It just goes the show how small the world really is and how goddamn ignorant I am.

This guy who added me on friendster some time ago (and on msn too) is actually the CEO of a well-known spa. I only know he drives a porsche cos of the pictures from friendster and that's about all. Exchanged a few friendster messages and never chat once on msn before and after which he was conveniently forgotten.

And how do I get to know about this? That is because he forms one of the judges on a certain beauty contest currently on TV right now.

Haha well well, something interesting on a boring Sunday night.

why are you not around anymore

I guess I wasn't wrong when I caught sight of you 5 months ago. Refrained from finding out nor confirm if I was right. So yeah turns out I was right...except you are not around anymore. Damn, I'm so kpo. ;)

Well, well, will see if our paths do cross again in the future.

Major decision to make once again. Urgh. I have said it before, it's only a matter of realising it sooner. Tradeoffs there will be but gosh, I'm having such an internal struggle.

I can only look forward to Korea now.

realising it sooner

Burnt a good half of my Sunday clearing shit for i*c. 4 late adjustments that affected a hell lot of sections. And saw the shitass manager's email regarding the partner's 2nd round of review for these 2 entities next week. That is as good as hinting for me to clear complete the shit by this weekend. At my own time.

I highly doubt I'll have the time to entertain his emails next week as I foresee another shitass tight deadline job. But it is going to be interrupted by my self-created mess. It may just be a matter of realising it sooner.

And after next week, it is back to following up the i*c. Something I totally dread and I have a feeling the pure brat is going to leave behind a trail of shit. Lately I don't feel like calling her the pure brat anymore, pure bitch would be more apt.

I was feeling hungry earlier but dinner's not coming and suddenly I am not hungry anymore.

taipei lowdown

A summary of what I did in Taipei.

First day

Dinner at ximending then went to Huaxi night market. I was quite disappointed with Huaxi as it had some raving good reviews but it turned out to be, well, nothing spectacular. Totally pales next to Shilin or Raohe. The usual foodfare lined the street but the actual Huaxi was just a quiet row of massaging stalls and some small little touristy shops. But I managed to get a pair of red heels for NT$133 (approx S$6). Now that was quite a steal.

Second day

Jiufen! Just had to bring my mom there although I was quite lazy...taking into account the travelling time. Decided not to take the train cos the rails are confusing. Took the Keelung bus and it took about 1.5 hours before we reached lovely Jiufen. Bought snacks and stuff, yeah the usual and I realise that the pineapple tart thingy (feng li su) is cheaper in Jiufen than outside. After Jiufen, it was the Keelung bus back to the East District. Combed the 2 Sogos. Gorgeous shoes and clothes they have in Sogo...but the price tags are in thousands of NT$ so erm, well....ate the egg omelette at the dan dan wu along the stretch of underground mall that links Zhongxiao Fuxing and Zhongxiao Dunhua stations. And of course once I reached ZXDH station, I couldn't resist not popping by Jay's Omni! Ha.....so walked past that 4 alleys again till I reached Lane 161, turned left...was abit disappointed though that his pink antique car wasn't parked outside anymore. It was just some regular white vehicle that I didn't pay much attention to. After East District, I decided to check out Gongguan night market which was just opposite the prestigious Taipei National University (known as NTU too). It was already nightfall when I reached Gongguan and the NTU campus just looked old and small, well maybe I couldn't see clearly in the dark. Gongguan was slightly better than Huaxi but it was just one line of shops selling accessories and stuff with some food in between the alleys. It still is nothing compared to Shilin.

Third day

Yangmingshan!!!! Never been there before, was quite excited till it started pouring halfway during the bus ride up the mountain. The bus did not bring us all the way up and we had to trek quite a journey up to the Yangmingshan park where the flower festival was supposedly to be at. And the rain never subsided. Lousy weather to attempt Yangmingshan but what to do? I was already there. Almost wanted to give up while seeking refuge at some shelter with 3 nice taiwanese aunties (they were sisters!) who were warming themselves with wine and they told us that Yangmingshan park was just 5 minutes away. Great we can't just walk back all the way so might as well proceed on and we were rewarded with the sight of pink sakura, yes, despite the rain. So braving the cold, the rain and an empty stomach, we posed with our umbrellas with the Sakura trees. It was my first time seeing sakura in 20 over years. Haha. Fortunately there was a shuttle bus to ferry us directly out to Shipai MRT from the park's carpark cos I seriously can't imagine walking all the way back. After which it was Shilin food market for some hot porridge and hao da ji pai. Not many stalls were open as it was still in the afternoon. Took shuttle bus to Miramar and mom refused to get on the ferris wheel, lol. Well anyway, my main purpose was to visit Carrefour (across the road) for my supply of chocolates. Back to Shilin for oyster meesua, oyster omelette and then Shilin night market! Went to the pets section first to ooh and ahh at the cute doggies and then window shopped, surprisingly didn't get anything except for a necklace. Although I still loved Shilin compared to other night markets.

Fourth day

Went Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall so mom could take some pictures. Then it was on to my favourite Danshui. It was at Danshui's yu ren ma tou that I saw Li Wei (taiwanese actor aka the late xu weilun's ex-boyfriend) filming. I think he looked damn dao loh so after a short while, we got tired of looking at him and continued to cam whore along yu ren ma tou. After Danshui, we were off to Wufenpu. Right season to be at wufenpu cos they have the nicest dresses at dirt cheap prices and I ended up buying 3. Went Raohe night market next to eat the delicious chou tou fu and mango ice! This time I opt for the mango+strawberry combination. Simply sumptious. It was also at Raohe that I discovered there was a special breed of tiny chicks referred to as 'mini ji'O. They were so cute!

Fifth day

Considered going to Wulai but I didn't do any research so abandoned the idea for....Taipei Zoo instead! Haha. The admission fee was only NT$60 (approx S$2.80), *coughs* singapore zoo *coughs* is so *coughs* expensive and bleah do I need to mention fewer animals? It took me almost 3.5 hours to finish walking around Taipei Zoo. Didn't regret it.....gosh I love the monkeys and the bears! After the zoo excursion, we adjourned to City hall area, walked around the malls and ended with dinner at Taipei 101. Bought another 2 pairs of shoes at the shinkong mall..can't help it. They are so princessy! Mom wanted to return early to pack but I left her in the hotel room to join my friend (who happened to be at Taipei too) and we went Shida night market. Not too bad but didn't buy anything as I was more or less broke by then and I still wanted to go get this bling bling tee from XMD the next day.

Sixth day

Spent whatever that was left of the day at XMD and splurged on earrings, a cap and of course that bling bling tee I was eyeing at chengpin 116.

Okay I meant for it to be a summary. Maybe pictures another time...I'm tired and I still have to think about my crisis.

back!

Taipei was great (as always) despite the fact that this is my third visit in consecutive 3 years. I don't get tired of the place......I can just pack my bags and stay there for good. Serious.

My holiday would have been brilliant if not for the pure brat ruining it halfway through. I have so many things to thank her for. However I don't wish to go into that.....I've got more pressing things to settle now but I'm kinda procrastinating. Sigh. I hate the whole cycle. But what to do? I have no other alternatives.

I would love to showcase my Taipei pics but that would require time and guess that would be another day so hopefully I get around to doing it.

But first, the important things.

Oh yes, almost forgot, happy birthday to you!

insomnia

I didn't sleep a wink last night. Maybe I was in between consciousness but in any case I was fully aware of the time ticking past and was checking my alarm clock by the hour.

WHY.

Refer to the previous entry. I can't believe I'm losing sleep over i*c.

In reality, I'm in denial and fleeing.

Flying off on Sunday but yet I feel no thrill. That shit is really killing my hols.

moodless

My precious one week leave is coming up soon but sadly I'm in no holiday mood. Not when there are 2 deadlines right smack in my face and these 2 deadlines are coincidentally (or unfortunately) during my leave. Okay yes, like seriously how fucked up can this get?

I won't be so concerned if there are people available to follow up as after all, this is a huge job with the whole world booked on it. BUT NO, everyone's busy as hell and no one is going to have the time to do the shitty subsequent event review for my 2 or rather 3 (unwillingly forced to adopt one) pathetic entities. And the stupid manager will just keep hounding people who are not booked on the job to complete it....I wonder what would be his reaction once he knows I'm going on leave, that is if he doesn't know by now already. I did mention to him before previously in an email. Maybe it didn't get drilled into his thick skull.

To be fair, my last week of march was X-ed out by the planner and of course I seized the opportunity to plan my toil there to enjoy a brief break. And I only got to knew the internal deadline on Friday. My holiday mood is totally evaporating now. People are going to point fingers at the girl who's taking leave on the week that the shit is finalising on the audit. Well in the first place, you guys only booked the pure brat to follow up.

Honestly, the pure brat has too many outstanding things on her hands to complete by next week (I'm even wondering if their so-called internal deadline is feasible. Expecting to see shit in my inbox when I return from Taipei.) I even feel bad now having to email the outstanding matters to her although I'm sure she is fully updated on the status of things. So who will be penalized in the end? I don't have to repeat that I wasn't booked on it and the pure brat is only one person. So can't blame her too, blame the manager. Blame the lousy staff allocation. Blame i*c.

I suspect also that the pure brat shifted the planning for these few shit entities to me in September. Well maybe I'll be out by then unless some miracle happens.

Enough of the shit above. I think I'm infatuated with se7en now, much as I don't like to admit cos he's like one year younger? ah sheesh. But I think he has such sexy lips and a good bod. He just started to grow on me towards the last few episodes of Goong S because the story only got better at the last few episodes. Okay well, no more Goong S, no Goong withdrawal symptoms like the first Goong...I need to get the se7olution album.

horrigible shit

All good things must come to an end.

The last proper entry was like almost two weeks ago so seeing that time has lapsed and I haven't blogged...I am treading on very thin ice now after the Monday that I was summoned to see the shipping shit manager after working hours. That is the problem when there are no seniors hovering above, I get a good taste of what it's like to be a tic. It's not just the backlog, it's the ownership and fuck it, I was only playing a supporting role seeing that this entity was assigned to the pure brat initially. I've become a slave to my email and somehow living in fear, having to check it at least twice a day (client's place no internet access) and holding my breath whenever there is a pop-up that announced that I've got new mail. All thanks to the shipping shit. Anything that relates to it can only spell more work and worse still, to see one liner such as "Call me now" from the manager.

Argh I don't know when I can shrug off this shipping shit and I'm going on leave in about 1.5 weeks' time. Currently I'm just extremely scared that I'll be booked back to clear the shit. I don't know if the upcoming counselling session (if there is one) works to get me outta this so at least maybe I can see a faint glimmer of my future here otherwise ...my retiring plans would be brought forward.

But to be fair, I think it's the people that counts. If I have a slightly nicer manager who knows his stuff and bugs lesser and the pure brat is actually someone who doesn't piss people off, maybe ... I won't mind that much. Yes and to be fair again, the shipping shit pales in comparison to the other shit I have gone through before (and didn't get outta alive for that matters).


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Enough of the above.

I attended a friend's wedding on Saturday, my first friend to get hitched since all weddings I attended in the past are relatives or friends of my parents. Well more to come... ;) Seeing my friend looking radiant and blissful in that gorgeous white gown made me wonder when would it be my turn to be up there walking down the aisle with my dad beside me. *shudder* I don't think that's going to happen in a million years' time, meaning never because I'm starting to believe not in this lifetime. I'll be happy with a dog as companion, trust me.

Haha, anyway happy for her.

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Eeks it's only Monday.

edit: Okay so I got a sudden urge to do a revamp here and re-skinned my blog and settled this in 30 minutes, cool. And for the first time, it actually looks decent on firefox too. I hate ie btw...the new version absolutely sucks.

Tmd.

Tmd.

Haven't watched soccer for such a long time but decided to watch my beloved Pool against Manchester United last night and really tmd again, to have it all screwed up by that 92nd minute goal by substitute O'Shea. Liverpool had more chances, shots, corners than that idiotic 10 man Manu but sighhhh...

Bah.

tgif!

I find it a marvel that my laptop can repair itself overnight. Literally.

A few weeks ago, I encountered problems while trying to burn some files. The program would burn halfway then stall and I ended up wasting 2 discs. That wasn't the end...my comp started to hang and when I restarted it, the infamous blue screen greeted me. Usually I would just allow it to do the file check thingy till 100% and everything would be back to normal. But the blue screen got stuck at 0%. I restarted many times but the blue screen won't go away...actually there is a shortcut to this. Just press enter to prevent the file checking and it'll load onto desktop. Which was what I did. Something was wrong obviously as Windows couldn't load normally but I was too lazy (and poor) to bring the lappie down for repair. Then one fine day, I allowed the comp to run during the night (cos I was d/loading some stuff) and it downloaded some update thingy from microsoft, restarted itself and all these happened overnight and voila...no more blue screen after that, windows can load naturally and my burning program is working again! Good thing I didn't bring the lappy for repair...hehe. I must have been using outdated stuff. That probably caused the problems.

Enough of the techie talk...my week was good. As in I can go home on average 630pm everyday, the manager assigned me tasks to do but he never really cared about me after that. I was simply left to my own devices and kinda OTOT...lol...but of course good things have to come to an end. I am left on my own so therefore I'm not sure if I'm doing what he wants...hopefully. My good life is attributed to the fact that the client wasn't free to entertain our field visit. However, the client will be FREE come Tuesday and to my horror, the manager mentioned that he wants to review on Wednesday. I almost had a heart failure and then he told me it was to clear the 2005 outstanding matters. *Blink* I will die if I have to finish the entire 2006 audit in one day considering this is not exactly a small entity. But to follow up on 2005 stuff? Urgh. Oh well anyway...I should be grateful still for this week of rest. Another 23 days more!

wants a glam job

Saw a familiar face when I flipped through March's issue of Cleo. No, no, not the 50 eligible bachelors although I noticed that there was this one guy from my jc. I was looking at the snapshots section of the Cleo team and saw this girl who was from my secondary school and later on, same jc. She was from my senior class in jc and she was my angel when we played the angel-mortal game during orientation. That was how I got to know her and....she's now the SENIOR FEATURES WRITER for Cleo. Well I think that's so cool loh. To bag a job in a fashion magazine. That used to be my dream job....haha. Ever since the longest of time before I entered uni, I wanted to be a journalist or to write for a fashion mag. Despite the tight deadlines for publications, I still believe it's a pretty glam job. At least you are writing for something you actually have a passion and interest in....not like some shit I am writing now. Just write in a way that won't invite more questions from the top.

Sighhhhhhhhh... yah yah don't ask me why what I am doing with my life. It is too late (?). What was I thinking when I was filling up my uni application? Lol. Too bad. Move on...

xin nian kuai le

I've got work to do which I actually planned to get it out of the way during cny eve so I can enjoy my cny proper. But no, I decided I really don't give a damn and that between sleep and turning on the IBM, I took the former and had a good 3 hours plus nap this afternoon. Lovely...and I dreamt I was in Taipei, oh well...

No bitchings in this entry. It's CNY after all so happy CNY yah and enjoy the well deserved break.